The Void Within
Countless people have tried to decipher the truth about our existence, with some more successful than others. The array of philosophical books, theories and opinions on this subject are almost endless and in many cases some people have just given up. “We cannot know” the essence and meaning of our being, is something I have heard from some who have searched but then, with no good enough answers, simply gave up.
Some of us are not even inclined to ask such questions. It may seem like a waste of time, or there is a lack of interest in questions relating to our being. As in, who am I beyond the name I was given; beyond the body I wake up with every morning and beyond all other labels attached to me? What happens when I die? Where was the “I” before being born?
This type of talk is mainly entertained by religious people, spiritual people and philosophers. Yet, from experience, it appears that even those who do not belong to the religious, spiritual, or philosophical types, at some point come to ask these existential questions.
One of my grandmothers was such a person. She worked hard all her life and had no time to ponder life’s mysteries. Surviving two world wars and many hardships along the way, it is quite understandable that she did not put much value on deciphering the nature of being. Yet, towards the latter part of her life, as I was fortunate to be able to spend a significant amount of time with her and talk about all sorts of things, I noticed her musing over questions of life and death.
Her son, my father, is also not a religious, or spiritual being and through philosophy no definite answers have come to him. He has asked the common questions about God, the essence of our being and our eventual passing on but he has arrived at the: “we cannot know” answer. Nonetheless, he is still wandering. He has mentioned that arriving at a more advanced age, when death is edging closer, thoughts about existence/being are more common and this is also understandable.
When we are young, we do not think of death, or of the meaning of life much. We are too busy living: exploring, enjoying, testing things out, playing. Often, life can be a real roller-coaster ride: up and down we go, round and round and we are absorbed by events and circumstances we find ourselves in.
As we get older though, life slows down. Our social life begins to slowly wither away. Our activity levels become more tenuous and ultimately, we just have more time on our hands. And that is when for many of us, questions arise: what really is this thing we call “life”? What comes after it? What does death mean? This is the void that exists within many of us: a part of being is hidden and no matter how much we might have ignored it, or not paid attention to it throughout our lives, in many cases, as we get older, these questions push us to investigate.
Logic, books, philosophers, even priests cannot provide those answers for any of us though, not in any truly meaningful way. The mystical answers about life and death, we must discover on our own, to fully know. These are not about theoretical understanding, or about being explained to us. No. Such answers must be known. The difference is significant: knowing is different than believing. We must transform within to have such clarity. From the larva, we must become the butterfly. We must shed what we know. We must shed beliefs and give up on philosophies of all sorts. We must recognize our ignorance with sincerity: what I know, I know. What I do not know, I do not know. Do not believe in things which are not in your experience. Investigate.
“Being” is really beyond words. It must be profoundly experienced. We cannot encapsulate it with words. Words are too small and too rigid to fully explain it. What they do, is create a false sense of knowing, which in the end, when death is around the corner, in many cases simply is not good enough.
