10 Reasons Why I Would Not Want to Be the Racehorse American Pharaoh

On June 6, 2015, American Pharoah became just the 11th name to be added to the illustrious, almost-exclusive list of horses who have won the coveted Triple Crown that includes The Kentucky Derby, The Preakness and The Belmont Stakes. All three horse-racing events are oozing with national and international history as well as a hotbed for the millionaire and billionaire horse owners both national and international.

Only horses of a special breeding, training, talent and raising are able to even dare win such an event as The Triple Crown. The competition is fierce and there is no room for average horses. Every horse in each of the three races are of a special breeding background as well as heritage.

When a horse such as current-Triple Crown Winner, American Pharoah, wins the Tripe Crown, his racing days are over. But his skills and talent will live on in his sperm samples which his owner will sell at a very lucrative price to the buyer with the most money to offer. As for American Pharoah, it's eating and romping in a well-groomed pasture and enjoy an occasional romantic interlude with a mare of equal heritage and bloodlines. And the mare's owner will pay a high-price for the time his mare will spend with American Pharoah whose owner could ask as high as $500,00.00 per half hour.

Yes, with winning such a feat as The Triple Crown comes a huge windfall of interviews on major talk shows, sports-radio shows, ESPN, Fox, CNN, and others. All for payment. This does not include movie rights (if one is written) and the book deals that are there for the writing.

What a "tough" life.

The 11 Triple Crown Winners

1919 Sir Barton
1930 Gallant Fox
1935 Omaha
1937 War Admiral
1941 Whirlaway
1943 Count Fleet
1946 Assault
1948 Citation
1973 Secretariat
1977 Seattle Slew
1978 Affirmed
2015 American Pharoah

And the strange fact is: Some American guys will wish that they were American Pharoah instead of themselves--crawling out of bed every day to punch the clock to earn bread for their families and do all of the other things associated with the human experience.

Not me. I am perfectly-content with being a mortal man.

In fact, I share with you right now . . .

10 Good Reasons Why "I" Do Not Want to Be American Pharoah

1. Having only oats and other special horse food to look forward to at each mealtime is nothing to write home about. Being American Pharoah means for me, no pizza, cheeseburgers, potato chips, pasta, steak and ice cream. Yes, I would grow weary of oats and other horse foods. And if the truth be known, so does American Pharoah.
2. Running around a sold-out racetrack with nothing covering my "privates," is humiliating. To say nothing about degrading. I'll stick to wearing my jeans, casual shorts and keep my "privates" private." Incidentally, there is no law to prevent "me" from being dressed from my waist down in khaki shorts or even cargo shorts.
3. Standing still and listening to my owner be interviewed by Jimmy Fallon, Jon Stuart and more is very frustrating. I am not like "Mr. Ed," and talk down the moon, so I would just have to suck it up and try to look proud of my accomplishment.
4. My owner gets to have control over all of the monies that "I" have won in my quest to win The Triple Crown, not me. I guess he thinks I cannot be trusted. Now if I were a man, he might let me handle some of that huge dough, but not as a horse.
5. As American Pharoah, my sleeping quarters are fine. My place is climate-controlled, no annoying insects or other pests, so I guess I cannot complain, but again, my owner who not only hordes all of the money that "I" earned, not him, gets to stretch-out in a huge bed with silk sheets and plenty soft to the body. Tell me the justice in this.
6. My owner gets to drive his choice of a Rolls Royce, Corvettes or one of those fancy Camroes by Chevrolet. Not me. I am either transported by horse trailer or have to be led by a stable worker. No fancy car for me, the 11th winner of The Triple Crown. Again, no justice can be seen in this.
7. After "I" won The Triple Crown, was I interviewed by throngs of reporters? No. My owner got to do all of the talking and enjoying the spotlight. If I were a man, I could have joined him and chimed-in a few remarks, but not as American Pharoah.
8. As American Pharoah, I cannot kick-back, (well, I can kick-back for I have four legs), and enjoy a movie with other people in a theater for I am a horse. And even if I did win The Triple Crown, no theater in America will allow me entrance. Talk about discrimination.
9. And that discrimination stretches as far as me trotting into a local Starbucks to enjoy a relaxing cup of coffee since I am not pounding the racetrack anymore. Starbucks does not permit horses to enter their outlets, but they do men and women. I tell you. The "deck is stacked" against horses in the world outside the racetrack.
10. One of my plans after my racing days were over was to take flying lessons and get my pilot's license, so now that is "up in smoke." I did some research and found out that pilots who give flying lessons cannot allow a horse to be inside their plane. Can you believe the F.A.A.? And all of this time I thought horses of my caliber would be heralded as a conquering hero when I won The Triple Crown.

I feel so used.