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CMLL Tuesday Preview: The A (Minus) Show

Updated on March 27, 2017

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water…you realized it was still about 40 degrees outside and maybe a trip to the beach was a bad idea. I have no idea where I was going with that. What I can tell you however is that I’ve just wasted two sentences of this CMLL Tuesday preview on that, which brings us one step closer to breaking down the matches. SCORE! And these matches are pretty solid too. Much like last week, the first two matches look a little scary, while matches 3, 4 and 5 have some serious potential and the main event looks pretty good as well. I like this new format for the Tuesday show, and there’s no reason to think this one will be any less than last week’s show. So let’s get to the coverage. Moses, meme like you’re in the movie Last Night and the world is about to end via…heavy sunlight. I’ll be honest; I still don’t get what was going on there.

Magia Blanca & Sangre Imperial vs. El Coyote & Grako

What to Expect: Well, at least it can’t get any worse for Magia Blanca after last week, when his hurricanrana attempt on Nitro ended with Nitro making no attempt to catch him and Blanca nearly paralyzing himself on the floor. Unfortunately that’s where the good news ends because this match looks to be pretty mediocre unless Blanca just goes off. Can he? Of course, but neither Coyote nor Grako are workhorses and neither of those rudos will likely lead to any breakthrough in confidence for poor, pitiful Sangre Imperial. Unless Sangre finally finds himself or the rudos are far better than expected, the only hope is if Blanca shows once more why he’s one of the more underrated luchadors in CMLL’s arsenal. And even then it probably won’t be enough.

Winners: When in doubt, go with the rudos. They take it in three falls.

La Vaquerita, Sanely, Silueta vs. Dalys, Metálica, Reyna Isis

What to Expect: The young technicos vs. grumpy old luchadors match is bumped for an average luchadoras trios match. Honestly, I think we can call this an upgrade; I mean unless you’d rather see Nitro, Sangre Azteca and Arkángel de la Muerte breaking your spirit for twenty minutes. Any match with those three is hopeless, where as this match…well it’s kind of hopeless but not nearly as bad as one with the three I just mentioned. Sure Vaquerita is mediocre, Reyna Isis is sweet death (although she’s improving) and Sanely is useless once she’s forced to, you know, move but Silueta, Dalys and Metálica are all good and should hold up their end of the bargain here. On top of that, this match has a strong chance of becoming a Silueta showcase, which is great considering she’s probably the third best luchadora in CMLL behind Princesa Sugehit and long time rival Zeuxis. As long as they give her time and either Dalys or Metálica to work with, this match should do enough to just get over the finish line. Of course now that I’ve said this we’ll end up seeing Silueta put against Reyna Isis (again), followed by Sanely running the ropes ten times. Excuse me; I need to go stare into a mirror and cry.

Winners: And the tears are over! If this were me I’d have Silueta pin Dalys and then challenge for the CMLL World Women’s Championship next week. Seeing as the chances of that are slim though, I’ll go with a rudo victory after Dalys submits Silueta with a Sharpshooter.

Esfinge, Soberano Jr., Tritón vs. Sagrado, Skándalo, Virus

What to Expect: Yes Skándalo is in this match. Yes Esfinge is playing the third wheel role again. To those two points, I say SO THE FUCK WHAT?! Do you see who else is here? We’ve got Sagrado, who is always a delight. We have Virus coming off his masterpiece with Guerrero Maya Jr. just a week ago. We’ve got Soberano Jr., who only knows one speed and that’s ludicrous speed. And we’ve got Tritón, who would be my choice for 2017 Luchador of the Year if the year ended today. He’s been that good, which makes it even sadder that he’s leaving for Chicago in a few weeks. Grodd I’m gonna be such a mess that day.

Back to the match. The point I was making is that those four really, REALLY good luchadors should be more than enough to cancel out the two mediocre luchadors, and Esfinge isn’t really that mediocre (he’s just not as good as his partners). It also helps that they’re consistent in their awesomeness; you know Sagrado will be cool as ice (and I don’t mean the Vanilla Ice catastrophe of the same name), you know Virus will have three moments on the mat that leave you shaking your head and you 100% know that Tritón and Soberano will have a combined three spots between them that make you feel like you’ve reached nirvana. Maybe you could argue this should be a tag match just to rid ourselves of the dead weight but honestly I don’t think it matters. As long as Skándalo doesn’t get too much time this match will be quite good, and could be even better if a) Esfinge has a good performance himself and b) the Tritón/Soberano performances are that good. And chances are they will be that good.

Winners: This is a difficult one considering Tritón has been losing every match he’s had (and rightfully so considering he’s leaving), while Soberano is a guy who seems to be gathering momentum. I’ll take a shot in the dark and say the technicos barely squeak this one out, with Tritón nailing Sagrado with a 450 and Soberano beating Skándalo with…something. Hey I think I just realized the only thing Soberano is missing; a finisher! Let’s get him one stat.

Lightning Match

Titán vs. Bobby Villa

What to Expect: Definitely the marquee match of this show and also the one with the most pressure. Not only do Titán and Bobby V have to follow a really strong Lightning Match between Niebla Roja and Dragón Lee from this past Friday but they also have to contend with the ghost of last week’s Guerrero Maya Jr. vs. Virus Lightning Match, a match that I’d argue was one of the two best CMLL matches of 2017. It’s a tall order for these two; luckily these are two dudes who should be more than up to the challenge. Titán is due for a really great performance after a slow start to 2017 (not counting some really good work with Hechicero this past Friday) and Bobby V is quietly one of those dudes who is capable of really strong singles matches, as evident by his superb Lightning Match draw with Guerrero Maya several months ago. There’s no doubt in my mind that these two will have an exceptional match; the real fun will be whether or not they can come close to matching Lee/Roja or Maya/Virus from last week. All the more reason this match is must see viewing come Tuesday night.

Winner: Very difficult to call once again; Bobby V has a lot of momentum right now thanks to Los Revolucionarios but Titán is a bigger star and he’s due something. I say the man who loves his Viking metal defeats Bobby V with a Super Rana around the 8 minute mark.

Drone, Guerrero Maya Jr., Máximo Sexy vs. Puma, Terrible, Tiger

What to Expect: I don’t know if CMLL has figured out some sort of formula with these Tuesday shows but this match completes the blueprint that CMLL started last Tuesday; so-so to mediocre matches to start, followed by three straight good to great looking matches leading up to the main event. The only worry I have here is that I’m not sure these six can get the crowd into this match the way Negro Casas was able to a week ago. Beyond that all six of these guys are great, Maya, Puma and Tiger are coming off spectacular performances last week and this should be the rare instance where Terrible is allowed to stretch his sea legs and show everyone that he’s just as legit as everyone else here. I will be floored if this isn’t a highly entertaining match, with some great Puma/Tiger double teams and at least two “WOW” moments from Drone and Maya to boot.

Winners: Puma and Tiger are white hot right now and I see no reason to change that. They win this match for the team by pinning Drone AND Máximo. That’s right sports fans; Puma and Tiger will be taking care of the CMLL World Heavyweight Champion and one of CMLL’s biggest stars to win this match. The road to those Mexican National Trios Championships continues!

Atlantis, Matt Taven, Valiente vs. Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Niebla Roja

What to Expect: If there’s one thing you can take away from this week in CMLL, it’s that Matt Taven is EVERYWHERE! Arena Puebla; he’s there taking on the Guerreros in trios action. Super Viernes; dude is throwing down with Rush in an attempt to avenge his loss to L.A. Park’s worst nightmare back in September. And yes, he’s here on the Tuesday show teaming with Valiente and Atlantis to face Big Euf, Gran Guerrero and CMLL’s resident strong style luchador Niebla Roja. Like I said; Matt Taven is everywhere. I’m half expecting to run into him on my way to the library later to return Uncharted 2!

Insert out of context Uncharted 2 meme here!
Insert out of context Uncharted 2 meme here!

The good news is that Taven being everywhere allows us (and him) more chances of being awesome, and this match serves as a pretty good opportunity for him to continue that trend. I mentioned in my CMLL Puebla preview how I’d love to see Taven do his over the rope suicide onto Euforia; maybe that spot isn’t suited for Puebla but I guarantee he gives it a go here, and no one will help make that move look more like a beaut than Big Euf. Throw in Valiente scaring us for life with his lack of pants, Atlantis taking people to backbreaker city, Roja stiffing the shit out of people and Gran Guerrero pulling off that cool finisher of his again and this match should be pretty decent. I’m not sure it’ll be good enough to match the previous three matches, but it’ll get the time and much like last week’s main event doesn’t need to be great; it just needs to be solid. I see no reason why it can’t be and then some.

Winners: I like the idea of having Taven come into his match with Rush fairly strongly, so look for him and the technicos to win this match in three falls, with Taven finishing off Roja with a Frog Splash. Onto Rush-Taven II!

That’s game sports fans. I depart into the shadows for now, but I’ll return tonight to review the Arena Puebla show, provided I haven’t passed out first. Till then, how about a Batman meme for your troubles? Hey I’m running low on Duchovny’s; got to change it up somehow.

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