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CMLL Tuesday: Terrible Tuesday

Updated on April 19, 2017

I was faced with a conundrum last night. CMLL’s Tuesday show was a strong show, one that I’d usually jump on reviewing right away. At the same time, this dog sitting gig (which has me going to be early because the dog needs to be out early) has left me wiped, leaving me with a decision to either try and wearily punch out a CMLL review or wait until today to do it. I chose the latter and boy was it a good decision. Almost as good of a decision as last night’s show, with the exception of the opening match. I suppose it was like the Puebla show in reverse, seeing as that show was the main event and a lot of other stuff that was overshadowed by me celebrating the Maple Leafs victory. But that’s a story for another time. For now, let’s lucha! Moses, meme it!

Akuma, Hijo del Signo, Inquisidor defeated Bengala, Príncipe Diamante, Sensei two falls to one

All you need to know about this match is that I spent most of it reading a list of wrestling urban legends. You know a match is boring when you get to that point. The nicest thing I can say about this match is that Príncipe Diamante tried, Akuma did get a nice Canadian Destroyer off at the end and Inquisidor would’ve nailed a sweet Codebreaker if Akuma or Signo (not sure which one it was) hadn’t launched him so far that he nearly overshot Sensei. Beyond that this was a dull waste of time that only existed so I could call Sensei “used future Rey Samuray” five times in my notes and so I could read over 9,000 wrestling rumors that seem to involve wrestler’s having weird ass sex. Now that shit was some fake news.

Mercurio, Pequeño Nitro, Pierrothito defeated Eléctrico, Fantasy, Último Dragóncito two falls to one

I was pretty convinced through the first fall that this match was going to end up just like the first one; then the rudos hit a codebreaker into a double stomp triple team to end the first fall and I closed out of that rumor’s list for good! This wasn’t Kenneth Branagh performing the St. Crispin’s Day speech or anything but compared to the other mini’s matches over the past few days it was more than acceptable. Último Dragóncito actually tried. Fantasy looked good (and did indeed hit that trademark second rope Spanish Fly). Eléctrico didn’t fuck anything up. Nitro was solid. Pierrothito was really good. And best of all, Mercurio looked motivated (did you see that double stomp on the apron he did?!) and didn’t bite anyone in the ass! A modern miracle I know. Put all of that together and this was a decent second match with a few cool spots. Sadly this just means Mercurio, Nitro and Último will be back to slacking off next time they’re out there. I’m predicting at least five ass bites in that one.

Misterioso Jr., Sagrado, Tiger defeated Pegasso, Soberano Jr., Starman two falls to one

Leave it to CMLL to advertise Tritón for this match despite knowing he was 99% certain to not be available, finally realize it the day of the show and replace him with Starman. That’s right; Starman. Not Star Jr., not Oro Jr., Drone, not any other number of talented young technicos CMLL could’ve dusted off; STARMAN! Only in CMLL could a decision like that be made. Of course, only in CMLL could Starman then exceed all expectations by being a perfectly acceptable third technico in a better than expected third match. Which is exactly what happened!

Of course Starman was nowhere near the star (pun fully intended); that honor went to Soberano, who I’m pretty sure could have a great performance with his eyes closed at this point. Even doing a tame version of his move set he was electric, flying around, crisply hitting every single dive he attempted (big ups to the rudos for basing excellently for each one) and just overall looking like the best young luchador alive. He also showed some nice chemistry with Tiger (who he didn’t interact with enough if you ask me) and continued to build his feud with Misterioso, which continues to progress along nicely while protecting both dudes. Everyone else here played their role well too, but this match was all about continuing to make Soberano look like the bee’s knees and it did just that. The fact that the rudo team was top notch (when are we getting that Sagrado single’s push?!) while Pegasso and Starman played their roles to perfection was an added bonus. Overall a very good match and pleasant surprise.

Lightning Match

Virus defeated Fuego

Considering how slow Virus usually works I was expecting this match to take it’s time. NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND! Right out of the gate these two were going fast, with Fuego taking the action to the floor, hitting a few dives and pretty much dictating the pace. As such this match was basically a four and a half minute sprint that Fuego controlled before he made a mistake and Virus caught him with an awesome Vertebreaker for the win. Ultimately it wasn’t long enough to leave a lasting impression or being anything other than pretty good, but for the time it lasted this match was frantic, fun and very well paced. You can’t ask for more than that, especially since I’m not sure Virus and Fuego could’ve done as good a job if they tried to imitate Virus-Guerrero Maya from a few weeks ago.

Euforia, Niebla Roja, Último Guerrero defeated Dragón Lee, Marco Corleone, Mistico two falls to one

Before we get into this match, let’s mention something you may have noticed; to this point in the card the rudo teams had won every single match. For real. Go look at the results again if you don’t believe me. This is like the third or fourth time in the past year that CMLL’s had a Tuesday show where the rudos have almost gone for the clean sweep; it even happened in this match despite the fact that Los Guerreros nearly imploded on five different occasions. I’m not going to be too critical of it this time because the match quality for the show was decent (save for the opener) but COME ON CMLL! Wouldn’t it be cool to throw the fans a bone here or there? You don’t see George Miller having all the good guys lose except for one or two in Mad Max: Fury Road. Wait…never mind, actually you do. Crap, that was a bad comparison. Or was it Immortan Joe?!

That diatribe to the side, this match was exactly what you’d expect it to be, save for the Guerreros won this match despite all the dissention. UG and Big Euf were clear cut rudos while Niebla Roja continued his trek towards the technico side, showing great respect for Dragón Lee and Mistico (strangely he never interacted with Marco though) and even wrestling a technico style with Lee in a really nice third fall sequence, all while UG looked like he wanted cut Roja’s heart out with a spoon. It wasn’t terrible stuff by any means (and anyone concerned about Roja has a technico should rest easier now), but it was more or less just Roja and Lee showing off while everyone else had a normal, by the book match so to not distract from the Guerreros angle. What I’m interested in now is how CMLL finishes it off; are they just going to do a breakup in a regular trios match or do they get fancy and, you know, actually do one last Dragón Lee-Niebla Roja match where the Guerreros screw Roja over? That would be my preferred route; unfortunately this is CMLL, where the routes that should be taken are left behind like Tobey Macguire in Fear in Loathing in Las Vegas. Then again Roja did beat Lee here and the Guerreros are taking on Lee and his friends again next week. As Sting said before he decided to do his best Brandon Lee impression, the only thing that’s sure about the Guerreros break up is nothing’s for sure. Direct quote; look it up.

CMLL World Heavyweight Championship Match

Máximo Sexy (c) defeated Terrible two falls to one

The only thing to worry about regarding this match was whether we got comedy Máximo or big match Máximo? Praise be, we got big match Máximo and a really, REALLY good CMLL Heavyweight Title match. Máximo was his usual charismatic self and did slip in a few of his antics (you can’t have a Máximo match without “The Kiss”), but for the most part he was pulling out huge moves left and right, dishing out a couple suicide dives, several planchas; basically everything but that walk the ropes senton he does. He was great; the only problem was Terrible might’ve been even better. It’s pretty clear to anyone who has watched Terrible that he’s far, FAR too good to be saddled in those average trios matches he’s normally in and he showed it tonight big. I loved the all out assault of power moves he put Máximo through, I loved him shrugging off not one but two kisses to almost pull off the shocking upset and I really loved him hitting the Last Ride out of nowhere early in the third fall to make me wonder if CMLL actually had the balls to end this early. Really that’s the best thing you can say about this match; I was certain Máximo was winning going in and both guys did a hell of a job making it seem like Terrible not only had a shot but was going to win. Thus the only thing that was disappointing when Máximo put Terrible away (with a great sitout powerbomb no less) was that they didn’t get more time to work their magic. Beyond that complaint I can’t say enough good things about this match. I don’t know if it’s quite there to reach CMLL MOTY candidacy, but it was a very strong main event and another great title defense for Máximo. I rue the day he loses that title; unless it’s to Terrible. Then we’ll still be in good hands.

That’s game sports fans. I’m off to make lunch, play some Alan Wake and contemplate my next move. You’ll see me tomorrow at the latest for a preview of the Friday show though. Till then, this!

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