CMLL Puebla Preview: Buffy References and TEW!
We’re not wasting time here folks; I’ve got Buffy the Vampire Slayer to watch, games to play and Royal Rumbles to ignore! I also may or may not call into some show later tonight to ask Disco Inferno about Alex Wright. We’ll see where the night takes me! In the meantime here’s a preview of tomorrow’s CMLL show in Puebla, which is basically a great middle smacked in between two Oreo cookies of shit. Hope you come check it out! Moses, time to meme again. TIME TO MEME AGAIN!
Meyer, París, Tigre Rojo Jr. vs. Ares, El Malayo, Sombra Diabólika
What to Expect: If only CMLL had given Sombra Diabólika other partners; what a match this would’ve been. Instead we’ll have Sombra doing solid work, Malayo trying (and failing) to keep up with the technicos, Ares wrestling like Policeman (minus the inexplicable cult following Policeman has) with the biggest “I’m robbing a young guy of this spot” grin on his face, París attempting one move he will naturally not hit and Meyer and Tigre Rojo somehow making the best of a bad situation. Oh, and for this match to be a good ten minutes longer than it needs to be. In other words, your regular every day CMLL opener everyone! If this match goes by without everyone looking dazed and confused during one sequence then I will make the same face Xander Harris made when he saw Buffy Summers for the first time.
Winners: When in doubt, go with the rudos. They win in three falls after Sombra knees Meyer’s face off. Shit, wrong Sombra. COME BACK TO US MANNY!
Acero, Aéreo, Asturiano vs. Demus 3:16, Mini Joker, Pierrothito
What to Expect: The card immediately perks up with a rematch of last week’s show that was…okay? Actually it’s not quite a rematch thanks to Demus replacing Maligno, which should automatically make this match a good 15% better. I can’t make any guarantees, but if Pierrothito and Mini Joker are on their game, Acero is kept at minimum and Aéreo and Asturiano are allowed to strut their stuff then this could be a double secret show stealer. At the very least you’ll get to see Demus drop someone right on their head, all while Aéreo continues to wonder why Acero keeps following him around. Hell that may be the last thought he has before Demus sends him to meet his maker.
Winners: The good guys won last week; that means they’re probably not doing so this week. I suspect the addition of Demus will lead to a rudos victory after he drops Aéreo on his head. Perhaps he and Mini Joker can pull out the same Double Underhook Piledriver combo he used with Mercurio this past Friday? Come on Demus; I don’t ask for much.
Drone, Rey Cometa, Tritón vs. Bobby Z, Misterioso Jr., Sagrado
What to Expect: Now this is podracing. Shit, why did I just use that line? I have brought the type of shame that only Dawn Summers brings. I deserve this meme.
Let’s actually what I meant to say; now this is lucha! There, much better Cult. Other than Misterioso hanging around I see now flaws in this match. Bobby Z will be really good here, even if he’s just in “I must dropkick everything in sight like my sex life depends on it” mode. Sagrado will be an absolute beast. Rey Cometa will be chill. Drone will give me the opportunity to type DRONNNNNN!!!!! several times, and is likely good for at least one wow moment. And even if he isn’t, Tritón is there and my goodness Tritón hasn’t been shy of going full speed ahead since his return. I don’t know if he hits that beautiful moonsault of his but he’ll have at least one wow moment that pushes this match from “its okay” to “hot damn, I may have to convince someone to watch this match back later.” Blame Tritón for that folks. Blame Tritón.
Winners: It seems like Tritón has lost every match he’s had since coming back to CMLL. Allow me to say his streak continues here with Sagrado pinning him with a One Winged Angel to win the rudos the match in the third fall. Yes I know this will give the rudos a third straight win; in the words of Dave Chappelle, so the fuck what? It’s Tritón folks; he’s supremely gifted and all, but he’s got as much like as Príncipe Diamante has in matches right now. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if Príncipe actually won a match before LOL I COULDN’T FINISH THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE! Like Príncipe Diamante is ever winning a match.
Atlantis, Dragón Lee, Titán vs. Gran Guerrero, Niebla Roja, Último Guerrero
What to Expect: Another good looking match that likely will be the best of the evening. That’s not exactly hard to accomplish; all they need to do is have Atlantis hit a few backbreakers, one Titán moonsault, the UG being the UG and Gran Guerrero not Riley Finning things up (yes I just made up that phrase). The most interesting thing to watch for here however will be the interactions between Dragón Lee and Niebla Roja. Lee evidently loves working with Roja, which makes it no coincidence he’s in this match over someone like Euforia. Perhaps this is the beginning of Roja, a decent worker, getting a shot at Lee much like Pólvora did a few weeks ago. If that’s the case I weep for Roja; he’s good, but he’s no Pólvora!
Winners: The technicos finally get the W after Titán takes out UG with a dive while Atlantis submits Gran Guerrero with La Atlantida and Lee double stomps Roja to hell. Good night and drive home…wait this isn’t the last match? Gorramit all to hell!
La Máscara, Máscara Año 2000, Rush vs. Diamante Azul, Marco Corleone, Máximo Sexy
What to Expect: You’ve got to love the CMLL Puebla bookers. Two weeks ago, they collectively decided that a match featuring Máscara Año 2000 and La Máscara teaming together was a good idea. Naturally this was revealed to be a worse idea than letting Pentagon Jr. slip through your fingers. Surely CMLL would correct this mistake, right? NOT SO FAST MY FRIENDS! Instead they put the team back together this week to team with Rush (who I’m sure will have the motivation of a dried up raisin for this match) against a technicos team that couldn’t match up more poorly with them if the team was instead made up by Centella Roja, El Hijo de Centella Roja and Centella Roja Jr. I'm so disgusted with this match I half assed finding a Buffy meme to relate to it and settled with this.
As you can clearly see I have no hope for this match in the slightest. I’m intrigued by the outcome (Marco vs. Máscara), but that’s still one week away, which means all we’re getting here is antics Máximo, an motivated Rush and Máscara, Diamante Azul hopelessly trying to prove himself and failing because Máscara Año 2000 is involved and the same old punch, crossbody, punch, crossbody routine from Marco. How do you say yawn in Spanish? I’m open to being pleasantly surprised, but the only thing I’m expecting from this match is for it to challenge the opener for the worst bout of the evening. Do yourself a favor; watch matches 2, 3 and 4, then duck out here and find out if they made Máscara vs. Marco for next week in my review. And yes, I will be reviewing this show. Dear Grodd what is wrong with me?
Winners: Last week Máscara fouled Marco to get DQ’d. You know what that means; this week Máscara will foul him again, only this time Tirantes will miss it and Máscara will get the win. Marco will then issue a challenge, Máscara will accept and GOOD GRODD CAN WE END THE PAIN NOW?!
Sorry for that. The show is over folks; I’m off to brood over this terrible match, play some TEW and watching some season one of the Buff. I’ll be back tomorrow to review this show, preview the Tuesday show and do some Rudo Can’t Fail work. Till then, SLAY BUFF SLAY!