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CMLL International Gran Prix Preview!

Updated on August 31, 2017

As the Foo Fighters once said, down and onto the next one. Triplemania is now a giant pile of cash in Dr. Wagner Jr.’s living room (and the black stain on the career of Sexy Star), which means it’s time to break down the next big event taking lucha libre by storm; the CMLL International Gran Prix! That’s right; it’s that time of year where we put a bunch of dudes from other countries against Team Mexico and let the nationalism flow while I rummage through the fridge for that last Pepsi can before the match starts. Interestingly enough though, this Gran Prix event doesn’t quite have the same feeling as last year, mainly because there isn’t a Rey Cometa-Cavernario match to serve as a co-headliner. Despite that, the undercard is solid looking and the main event will deliver, not to mention that I’m pretty sure no one is going to be trying intentionally rip someone else’s arm out of their socket. We’re already looking better than Triplemania! And on that note let’s get to the preview before I say something that gets me in trouble. Moses, dig through the ditches and MEME!

Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr., The Panther vs. Cuatrero, Máscara Año 2000, Sansón

What to Expect: Is this match one Forastero appearance from looking really great or what?! Seriously, why is Máscara Año 2000 here? Is CMLL trying to play off Dr. Wagner’s big weekend by having the father of the talentless bozo he beat one time on the card? Come on Paco; I expect this kind of lunacy from the Roldans! The only lunacy I expect from you is to strip the opening matches of dives and allow the three to hold Edgar and CMLL’s creativity hostage!

Alas, Máscara Año 2000 is in this match and no amount of defending from my pal and Dinamitas super mark Eve is going to make me change my mind on this being a bad idea. The good news; he’s the only bit of dead weight in this match as everyone else is really, REALLY good. In fact, Blue Panther is so good that he may just be the perfect guy to get the most out of Año by taking him to the mat and never letting him back up, allowing Panther, Junior, Cuatrero and Sansón the opportunity to just go balls to the wall. It’ll never quite be what it could’ve been with Forastero there (especially since we’ve seen how great those three are in recent months) but this will still be a very exciting opener. And now that I’ve said that Máscara Año 2000 will get fifteen minutes of offense and none of the young guys will be allowed to do anything, all while Paco cackles loudly in the distance.

Winners: Everyone on here save Máscara Año 2000 should make the Anniversary Show; unfortunately I’m pretty sure only Cuatrero and Sansón will as they’ve been white hot with Forastero every time out. As such, CMLL will want to keep them strong so look for them to pick up the victory, with Sansón and Cuatrero…wait what is their finisher again? I just realized that Forastero always gets the nod because he hits that awesome dropkick of his. Whatever they do, they do it here to give themselves the win in three falls.

Marcela, Princesa Sugehit, Silueta vs. Amapola, Dalys, Zeuxis

What to Expect: Without question the best women’s match CMLL could possibly come up with. Well alright, not quite as Lady Maravilla isn’t there but otherwise it’s the best. It doesn’t really matter anyway as the focus is going to entirely be on Sugehit and Zeuxis tearing each other to shreds and hot damn am I excited for that! We knew everyone was going to be stoked for their match at the Anniversary Show and these two have not rested on their laurels since the match was announced; their brawling has only gotten more electric and unpredictable since, with last week’s taking the cake. I’ll admit I’m a little worried they may go to the well a little too much (there’s only so many times you can brawl deep into Arena Mexico the exact same way before it gets old), but I trust both Sugehit and especially Zeuxis to keep things fresh as we head into the big show. They’ll deliver the goods here, and the other four women are talented enough that they should be able to deliver an even better version of the good trios match we got last week. It’ll be fun, it’ll be furious, and if Sugehit and Zeuxis deliver here (in front of what will surely be a big crowd given the event) with Gran Guerrero and Niebla Roja sitting at home washing their tights, it could be a step towards them getting the Anniversary Show headlining spot they deserve.

Winners: Sugehit keeps getting the upper hand in this feud, which means it’s time to turn the tables and give Zeuxis something. Well that and I’ve been getting my picks wrong lately because I NEVER BET AGAINST THE QUEEN! And I won’t stop here as Zeuxis unmasks Sugehit while Edgar is staring into the abyss and gets a roll up to steal the win.

Carístico, Mistico, Soberano Jr. vs. Cavernario, Felino, Negro Casas

What to Expect: CMLL could’ve done another big match in this spot to go along with the Gran Prix; instead they decided to do an All Star caliber trios match with the Gran Alternativa winners on one side and Cavernario/Negro Casas on the other. Oh, and Mistico and Felino are also here! Poor bastards; you know you’re match is good when those dudes are the respective third wheels. Normally I’d be a little worried about this match not getting time because it’s being used to set up a match next week, but with the Anniversary Show so close and none of these guys booked for it I get the feeling CMLL will just let these guys go. And boy will they go; I don’t need to point out yet again how amazing Soberano and Cavernario are (we saw it last week anyway), Negro Casas and Carístico always show up for the big matches and Mistico and Felino are guys who know their roles and do them well. This should be a fun, potentially very good semi-main event before we head into the reason we’ve all come to party.

Winners: The dream would be Carístico pinning Casas and then challenging him and the non present Shocker to a CMLL World Tag Team Title match at the Anniversary Show, with either Soberano or (get ready to mark out) Mistico. You’re gorram right I’m not giving up on that fantasy! This CMLL though which mean you’re hopes and dreams don’t happen, so instead look for this match to end normally with Cavernario pinning Soberano to get revenge from last week. At least it’ll be three falls of fun though!

International Gran Prix

Diamante Azul, Dragón Lee, Euforia, Mephisto, Rush, Último Guerrero, Valiente, Volador Jr. vs. Johnny Idol, Juice Robinson, Kenny King, Kojima, Marco Corleone, Matt Taven, Michael Elgin, Sam Adonis

What to Expect: Just like Psycho Clown-Dr. Wagner Jr. from a week ago, this is the match you’ve all come to see. And just like Psycho-Wagner, this match should be one hell of a roller coaster ride. How does this match work? Well, if last year is anything to go by, it’ll begin with each team being brought out, followed by a bombastic rendition of the Mexican national anthem, followed by nearly an hour of these teams going at it under cibernetico rules. In short; the last man standing takes the crown and the journey to get there is oh, so fun. Don’t believe me; just go watch last year’s match. Hell I’ll even post the video here. Hit play, give it a watch and meet me in the paragraph below when you’re done an hour later!

Did you watch it yet? Sweet. Fun wasn’t it? That’s exactly the kind of thing you can expect from this year’s show, minus Tama Tonga and Tanga Roa. The match will get plenty of time for everyone in it to work their magic while also being worked at a good pace because ciberneticos are always worked at a good pace. The crowd, normally really hot for a Friday show anyway, will be unforgettable throughout this entire match. Best of all is that everyone in this match brings something to the table. Every single member of Team Mexico ranges from good to great, and arguably the one guy who doesn’t (Diamante Azul) is best suited for a match like this when he can come in, quickly hit his impressive moves, and get out. You could argue Team World has a few guys who don’t stand out (looking at you Johnny Idol and Kenny King), but every member is as pro as they come, everyone with the exception of Satoshi Kojima and Kenny King are used to the Mexican style by now and the two guys CMLL will spotlight the most on Team World (Big Mike and a returning Sam Adonis) are just the kind of dudes who can kill it with everyone on the opposite side. Unless everyone gets hurt in the first five minutes, this match will be long, epic, exhausting and a whole lot of fun. And if Monday night’s preview was any indication, every bit worth the $8 you’ll need to see this.

Winner: I think we all expected that Team Mexico was going to win this…but then interestingly enough Volador Jr. won Monday’s cibernetico for Team Mexico in Puebla. Maybe I’m looking into that result a little too much, but that’s a bit odd no? On top of that, CMLL has something this year they didn’t have for last year’s match; a rapidly growing foreign star in Sam Adonis who is coming off the biggest win of his career just a little less than a month ago. I’d be a little worried about what Arena Mexico may do if Sam wins this match, but CMLL clearly has more plans for him and that result strikes me as the right call. So, against my better judgment, I will pick Team World to win with Sam Adonis as the sole survivor, defeating Volador Jr. by some nefarious means in the final two. If you’re in Arena Mexico when this happens, I advise you to either duck and run or take cover. It’s gonna get NASTY.

And that children is how a preview becomes…dammit why did I try that one again? It didn’t work the first eighty times! In any event I’m off till tomorrow when I’ll review this bad boy, though you will be seeing a lot of me if you’re the editor for a magazine named Rudo Can’t Fail. Sorry Wayne (not sorry. And go Sami!). Till then, THIS!

I laughed!
I laughed!

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