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CMLL Puebla: Mass Hysteria
We’re not going to waste much time here sports fans as I have so much to do and so little time to do it in! Let the record just show that last night’s CMLL Puebla show was actually halfway decent while also being confusing and frustrating. Basically the usual! Let me tell you why. Moses, meme like we’ve got places to go and people to see.
El Malayo & Joker defeated Arkalis & París two falls to one
There was a little bit of an alarming formula to these first two matches; the first fall would have back and forth action till the rudos won it, the second fall saw the rudos dominate the whole friggin fall till the technicos rallied at the last minute and then the third fall was over way too quick with the rudos winning. A whole lot of rudo domination sports fans. This worked better in this match because Mini Joker was really good and Malayo was better than usual, but even then it’s hard to get stoked about a match where the second fall is just an endless abyss of stomps, strikes and me resisting the urge to put on the National Championship game. There was still stuff to like and I’m pretty amazed that París was able to hit as many decent moves as he did; every time he tried something it looked as though he was auditioning for botchamania. But my Grodd; that second fall was so long and methodical that it just killed any momentum any of these four had and thus any chance of the match being good.
Cancerbero & Raziel defeated Asturiano & Rey Samuray two falls to one
Pretty much a carbon copy of the first match, only worse because Raziel was too busy getting distracted by the crowd at certain points to even care about this match. Maybe he saw a group of young luchadors up there and felt the need to squash them? It is the Raziel way after all. Whatever it was it only compounded that this match had little excitement; Raziel and Cancerbero were dominant most of the way through, Rey Samuray (the most talented dude in this match) had one run of moves and was otherwise just a crash test dummy and my Grodd do I have to go on? It was super boring, it was somehow even more boring than the first match and I can’t believe I’m saying that about a bout involving a legitimately exciting luchador in Samuray and an above average rudo team in Cancerbero and Raziel. Poor form guys; poor form.
Espíritu Maligno, Fuego, Pegasso defeated Disturbio, Policeman, Sagrado two falls to none
This match is going to get off light despite the fact that it was pretty much the rudos grinding the technicos into a sticky paste for fifteen minutes. Why does it get a pass? For one, the end sequence that saw Fuego and Pegasso actually hit cool dives was pretty sweet. Two and this is most important; THEY FINALLY DID SOMETHING WITH THE GORRAM MALIGNO-POLICEMAN FEUD! After weeks of not even going around in circles (that actually would’ve been progress for this feud), CMLL finally decided it was time to do something and had Maligno go over Policeman in two straight falls, first by DQ and then by a surprise roll up in the second. Now this is progress, and I’m not talking about that place Jimmy Havoc wrestles.
So what now you may ask? Well Maligno did make an official challenge after the match and Policeman seemed to accept, so unless they and the Arena Puebla lineup are lying we will finally be getting the Maligno-Policeman hair match next week. THANK GRODD! Not only are we going to get to find out if Espíritu Maligno can go in the ring, not only are we getting a match with actual stakes but we are also finally going to be rid of this Grodd forsaken feud! I was beginning to think that this feud would be like the Roman Reigns heel turn; something that’s dangled in front of our faces for eons that ultimately never arrives. Alas we are spared, these two will finally settle their differences next week and we can all just collectively move on and try to forget these two feuded aimlessly for weeks because CMLL’s Puebla committee couldn’t figure out a day to do a hair match. Hey at least it should go better than Diamante Azul vs. Pierroth right? RIGHT?!
Blue Panther, Blue Panther Jr., The Panther defeated Bobby Villa, Dragón Rojo Jr., Pólvora two falls to one
In the biggest non shocker of the night, the match that was designed to turn the show around turned the gorram show around. Who could’ve guessed? The two teams got it going with some nice back and forth sequences, culminating in a fantastic mat based exchange between Blue Panther and Rojo that led to Rojo submitting the maestro. One would assume that the second fall would then be all rudo based like the previous three matches; NOT SO FAST MY FRIEND! Because this match had the fortunate distinction of having Blue Panther (and his brilliant wrestling) involved, we instead got a second fall that was again back and forth with a little more pace, all leading to Junior and Panther tying it up with a submission on Pólvora and a pin on Bobby. And how about that third fall? Relentless back and forth action, numerous dives (including two by Blue Panther himself!), great lucha libre; it’s almost as if there were two really, REALLY good teams in there! See what happens when you put that together CMLL? I’m not sure this will end up being the best match these teams ever do (wait till they tangle in Arena Mexico again), but this was pretty superb, with everyone getting a standout moment (or in the case of Panther, several. Good Grodd has he gotten back into top form) and the Blue Panther-Rojo sequences containing a ton of electricity. It was nice to see Blue Panther get the win too, although we all know why that is. Hope you were watching Danielson; hope you were watching.
Diamante Azul defeated Pierroth two falls to one
You know how people were impressed with Goldberg-Lesnar because they went in with zero expectations? Same here. This match was over 9000% better than I anticipated, and I was pretty much anticipating me needing to drink bleach while Bring it On played in the background. Wow, I just got darker than Christian Bale’s Bruce Wayne in a rainy ally yelling “WHERE WERE THE OTHER DRUGS GOING?!” to a corrupt cop. Hey, two weird ass pop culture references in the span of a sentence. Look who’s rounding into midseason form.
Anyways, this match was way better than expected. Does that make it good? I wouldn’t say that, but I definitely thought it was okay, which makes sense if you’ve been watching since Pierroth took off the mask. I don’t know what it is but he’s been different; he’s still not very good but he’s at least giving an effort, trying new things and noticeably not botching anything to a tremendous degree. He was as on form as much he could be tonight and that made it very easy for Diamante, who I thought was really good here, to carry it home the rest of the way with his power moves and cool Monkey Flips. Of course there had to be a screwy finish because it’s Diamante and Pierroth, but that pretty much comes with the territory now no? Again, don’t mistake this for being a stone cold classic; it was at best a stone cold piece of “this is okay and I’m going to forget about it within three days.” But considering how badly these two clicked leading up to Homenaje a Dos Leyendas and how much we all dreaded this feud, for it to end like this is what I’d call a success. We didn’t get a bad match either time, we actually got some improvement in the effort department from one of the luchadors and best of all we didn’t get a potential worst match of the year contender. Somewhere, Yoshitatsu is icing the champagne over that award.
Atlantis, La Máscara, Rush defeated Marco Corleone, Máximo Sexy, Volador Jr. two falls to one
I enjoyed this match immensely and I’ll tell you why; it always kept me guessing. Going into the match I was wondering how in the blue hell could Atlantis coexist with Rush, the guy he seems destined to face come the Anniversary Show. Then Rush attacked Volador on the ramp before the bell rang, leading me to believe they were setting up Rush-Volador for next week. Then Rush got mad that Atlantis was getting the pins in fall one, leading to dissention between them. Then Máximo began targeting Atlantis. I spent half of this match entertained (because all six of these guys are entertaining) and the other half trying to figure out what CMLL was setting up. Then the match ended with Tirantes tackling Atlantis while he had Volador in La Atlantida, allowing Rush and Máscara to hit low blows on Máximo and Marco, which was followed by everyone cutting promos that…I still don’t know what is going on. Well besides the fact that we’re doing this all again next week, which is bound to leave me looking like this by the time we’ve crossed the finish line.
Keep in mind here; all these potential scenarios are wins for anyone who loves lucha libre. If they’re continuing to build towards Atlantis-Rush with a preliminary bout in Puebla, that’s a win. If they’re doing an Atlantis-Máximo match, that’s a big win (especially since the crowd went nuclear when those two faced off). If they’re setting up Rush-Volador, that’s a win. Hell they could be continuing the whole Los Ingobernables vs. The World story they seem to be running and I’d consider that a win. Everything here is a good scenario; I just don’t know what scenario they’re going for. On the one hand it’s a good thing considering CMLL doesn’t run many storylines that keep you guessing. On the other hand, CMLL NEVER DOES THIS AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO REACT BESIDES KEEPING MY FINGER PRESSED DOWN ON THE CAPS LOCK! You see the dilemma here. I guess all we can do is wait till next week and hope whatever CMLL has planned is good. Pretty much; look for this to somehow lead to Pierroth vs. Marco. GULP!
That’s a wrap sports fans. I’m off to do some Rudo Can’t Fail work, but I shall return tonight to review the Tuesday show. Till we meet again, THIS!