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CMLL Puebla: The Real Main Event

Updated on March 28, 2017

We’re keeping the intro short today sports fans; I’m already behind enough getting this review out as is and worst of all I’m missing breakfast. Sweet, glorious breakfast. But enough of that; last night’s CMLL Puebla show was a solid one, with a decent effort throughout, some fun moments, a lot of advancing stories and a really, REALLY strong match between Zeuxis and Princesa Sugehit that should’ve headlined the show, but didn’t because REASONS! Good Grodd I haven’t eaten yet and I’m already hyper. Let’s get into the meat before I say something that really kills my street cred. Moses, just meme it.

Centella Roja & Hijo de Centella Roja defeated El Perverso & Sombra Diabólika two falls to one

There were several issues with this match; one thing that wasn’t was effort. These four dudes tried their ass off, and as such the match ultimately turned out to be okay and at times had some entertaining/creative sequences. The funny thing about effort though is that it doesn’t always translate to something good when you’re pushing your mid 40’s and look like you’re falling apart faster than the “TIS BUT A SCRATCH!” knight. That was Centella Roja. The guy’s effort was superb; the results weren’t, and while I can appreciate how much he tried, it’s pretty clear that maybe he needs to change his style pretty fast or he’s going to continue to look ridiculous trying moves guys fifteen years younger than him having trouble doing at full speed. Besides him, El Perverso revealed that even at full speed he isn’t really good, Sombra looked solid and Hijo de Centella Roja quietly looked a little better than he did the last time. You can tell this kid has a lot of the tools to succeed (unlike say, Sangre Imperial); all he needs is some confidence and an injection of pace (he still looks like he’s moving slow during spots as to not mess shit up). Those go hand in hand, so as long as CMLL continues to put the kid in positions where his confidence can grow, the better and more adventurous he should get. Ain’t it fun to see a CMLL youngster come up from scratch and not leave you feeling like he’s hopeless, unlike Sangre Imperial? Grodd poor Sangre Imperial; taking a beating already today and he’s still got a match later!

Apocalipsis, Inquisidor, Policeman defeated Black Tiger, Espíritu Maligno, Millenium two falls to one

All you need to know about this match is two things. First, this Maligno-Policeman feud is SWEET DEATH! Not only does it involve two people I couldn’t give less of a fuck about and not only is Policeman a chore to watch anyway (jury is still out on Maligno, though this isn’t helping him) but there’s nothing actually going on with this feud. It’s the same bullshit week after week; they fight in a multi-man match, Policeman gets the better of Maligno and we do it all again next week (and they will; these two are on opposite sides again for the next Puebla show). What the hell CMLL? This is either going to turn into the worst drawn out feud in history where Maligno has no credibility at all, or there isn’t a feud at all and CMLL is just using these interactions to officially turn Maligno technico…which has failed because he has no credibility at all! At least with Pierroth and Diamante Azul you get an exciting moment or some unintentional comedy; Policeman vs. Maligno is nothing more than every Sonic the Hedgehog game between Sonic Adventure 2 and Sonic Generations.

Oh I almost forgot; there was a second thing you needed to know and unlike the Policeman/Maligno stupidity it’s pretty good. Despite that never ending feud’s never ending presence and despite Apocalipsis and Black Tiger doing absolutely nothing of note, this match ended up being alright. Why? Because Millenium and the gorram Inquisidor actually came to play. I’d like to make the argument that both guys were GREAT in this match; Millenium was always active and flying around as best he could with the restrictions, while Inquisidor once again made me wonder if his brother Pólvora was under the mask (I’m still not convinced that isn’t the case). They both worked hard, they both had some really nice moments; the short story is they saved this match from being a complete abomination. I’m not sure if this was a one off thing or not (Inquisidor generally isn’t this good) but I sure as hell would rather see those two have a singles match than Policeman and Maligno right now. Hell I think I’d rather see Kelly Kelly vs. Sexy Star vs. Sanely in a triple threat match more than Policeman/Maligno. The interest lies in whether any of those three women actually run the ropes correctly.

Misterioso Jr., Skándalo, Toro Bill Jr. defeated Fuego, Pegasso, Soberano Jr. two falls to one

To the surprise of maybe one or two noobs, this was easily the second best match of the evening from a skill standpoint. Thank the Misterioso-Soberano issues for that; unlike the Policeman/Maligno feud, stuff seems to be happening between these two, not to mention that Soberano is awesome, Misterioso is solid and both guys seem to click well. That was evident tonight. I liked Misterioso working over Soberano’s leg during the second fall, I liked Soberano actually taking the time to sell the leg, which prevented him from doing a dive and I ultimately liked him overcoming it to hit some spectacular moves, including a dive that I’m pretty sure only happens in Arena Puebla every few years. Sure other stuff happened as well; Toro Bill actually hit a pretty decent suicide dive, Fuego did his usual cool routine and both Pegasso and Skándalo knew well enough to stay out of the way. In the end though this match works because Soberano and Misterioso have a pretty decent feud going and both men did a good job continuing it within the match. The singles match these two are eventually having is going to be the bomb diggity, and I’m not just saying that because Soberano is totally going to win.

Mexican National Women’s Championship Match

Princesa Sugehit (c) defeated Zeuxis two falls to one

You know how there’s sometimes instances where we say a match earlier in the card should’ve main evented the show? Yeah; this is one of those times. How on earth someone in the CMLL office thought putting Zeuxis and Sugehit fourth on the card while Pierroth and Diamante did…whatever it was they did in the main event was the right call is some bullshit Paul Ryan would even think is bullshit (on second thought, never mind; he’d make the same mistake). I understand that I am biased here because Zeuxis is legit one of my favorite performers alive and I’m pretty sure most will have this match rated higher than me. So the fuck what; I thought this match was superb, and I thought it for the reason a lot of people are only going to say it’s very good; they didn’t even break out their best stuff and the match still rocked. They started off with some crisp chain wrestling/mat work in fall one that saw Zeuxis steal it with that sweet bridging roll up of hers, followed it up with Zeuxis grounding Sugehit in fall two before the champ surprised the Queen with a hurricanrana for the tie and then just went crazy in the third fall. But not the kind of crazy you’d expect. Instead of doing big moves, the two just beat the ever loving shit out of each other, with Sugehit throwing Zeuxis into the crowd ala Mil Muertes, Zeuxis legit punting Sugehit in the head as hard as she could and Sugehit coming right back to slam Zeuxis into the post. Shit was more real than that scene in Bad Boys 2.

Where will you be when constipation hits?
Where will you be when constipation hits?

Now sure, that sequence ended up being the big highlight of the match, with Zeuxis keeping the Spanish Fly and Package Piledriver in her pocket while neither she nor Sugehit ever had a serious attempt at a dive. Again I say so what? For one, these two aren’t even close to being done with each other and I’d much rather they leave the high spots stuff off the table till they can combine it with the violence and atmosphere of Arena Mexico for the big mask vs. mask match they’ll be having. Secondly, the match worked just fine without it. I loved the story they told by keeping this a cross between chain wrestling and brawling, with some near fall drama and semi-big moves sprinkled in. Sometimes less is more and this was definitely the case in this match. I don’t know if this was the best match Zeuxis and Sugehit have ever had; my guess is that most fans and maybe the Queen and Sugehit themselves would say this wasn’t. In the end though it was still an exceptional match that left me even more excited for the inevitable mask match and angered me because, once again, IT SHOULD’VE FUCKING MAIN EVENTED THIS SHOW! I swear CMLL, if you don’t have Zeuxis-Sugehit, mask vs. mask as the headlining match the day you eventually do it, I will be down in Mexico City so fast Paco Alonso won’t know what hit him. And that’s just if the match isn’t headlining; imagine what I’ll do if Zeuxis doesn’t win!

Marco Corleone, Matt Taven, Volador Jr. defeated Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Último Guerrero two falls to one

The usual semi-main trios match in Arena Puebla, where the action is mostly light but the crowd was into it and things were overall entertaining. Honestly I thought Matt Taven came out of this looking the best. I wouldn’t say he got the best opportunities to shine but he did make the most of his time, getting a dive in, having some nice sequences with Gran Guerrero and at one point slapping Gran’s chest so hard that it actually drew blood. That is a slap right there my friends. Everyone else was in cruise control, which is fine because Marco, Volador, UG and the Big Euf are fun even if they’re taking it easy. I know these guys can do better and if this had been in Arena Mexico I think it would’ve been vastly better. Even still it was a good time that the crowd enjoyed, which means it did its job. Sure it could’ve done its job below Zeuxis and Sugehit on the card but hey, what do I know right? Dammit Cult, you promised you would let that go!

Diamante Azul, Mr. Niebla, Terrible defeated La Máscara, Pierroth, Rush two falls to one

I got to give credit to CMLL here for getting this match hot off the bat in a pretty unique way for a company that doesn’t do unique often. With Volador and Marco still chilling in the ring after their victory (Taven I assume had gone to the back), La Máscara suddenly appeared and started jawing with the two technicos. Turns out he was bait, as Rush and Pierroth quickly ran down and attacked Marco and Volador from behind, leading to a brawl that soon brought out Diamante, Niebla and Terrible for the save! I don’t know who thought of this idea and I’m not sure if it was just a one off or a continuation of what seems to be a bubbling Los Ingobernables vs. The World story, but I gotta say I thought it was pretty neat. Now if only CMLL did shit like this more often!

Unfortunately once the excitement of the opening moments was over the match descended into the usual Los Ingobernables affair, although I will say it was higher end than usual. Both Rush and Máscara came off very viciously (Rush even threw a stretcher at Mr. Niebla at one point), Diamante, Terrible and Niebla all played the role of defiant, never say die technico quite well (which is funny considering Terrible and Niebla aren’t technicos) and Pierroth…well he’s at least continued his trend of being highly mediocre rather than the worst thing to ever happen to lucha libre. For what it was I must say I enjoyed it; the problem is that it doesn’t come close to comparing to legit great stuff like Zeuxis-Sugehit or the Tuesday show from last week. And even worse, it appears that we’ve got at least one more Diamante-Pierroth matchup to get through next week before we can move on to whatever it is CMLL actually has planned. I just hope that whatever it is, be it a Los Ingobernables vs. CMLL story or something else entirely, that CMLL realizes it’s time to tone down the Pierroth and maybe, just maybe, bring someone new into the Los Ingobernables fold. I’ll take anyone; hell I’ll even take the job. I can’t be that much worse than Pierroth right?

That’s a wrap sports fans. I’ll see you tonight (or tomorrow morning) for my review of the Tuesday show. Till then I leave you with this question; what’s Krillin from Dragon Ball Z’s favorite song?

I am such a nerd
I am such a nerd

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