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CMLL Puebla: A Showcase of...Something

Updated on February 5, 2018

Today (or yesterday seeing as this column is being posted after midnight) was the 34th anniversary of El Santo's death, a pretty big day in lucha libre history. Naturally CMLL had a show on said day, which would lead you to believe that they might be doing something special...till you remember it's CMLL, the show was in Puebla and you see where I'm going with this. That said, while tonight's Puebla didn't end up as a special occasion, it did feature some cool stuff, set up a match for next week and above all else, didn't suck. It didn't rule either but hey, take what you can, give nothing back amirite? And with that Pirates of the Caribbean joke, I think it's time for things to start. See you on the other side Ray!

Policeman & Saurón defeated París & Vega two falls to one

Who could’ve ever foreseen a scenario where a police officer teaming up with the Dark Lord Saurón (making his first appearance since the one ring to rule them all was dropped into Mount Doom) would not be interesting?! Only in CMLL. In this match’s defense, Vega got to look very good for all two seconds of cool offense he got and the match did allow me to bust out a bunch of lame Lord of the Rings jokes on Twitter. And seriously, what’s the point of life if you can’t do shit like that? Otherwise however, this match was pretty boring and seemed to end very quickly. I guess Saurón needed to head back to the buffet line or something, judging from his weight. Poor guy; I know losing the Ring of Power was a huge loss but wasn’t that like, years ago? There’s no need to still be letting yourself go Saurón. Remember; there’s always more rings in the sea. Or something like that.

Mini Joker & Pierrothito defeated Astro & Último Dragóncito two falls to one

Poor Último Dragóncito; the one night he decides to try and it’s the same show where both Astro and Mini Joker are having off nights. Kind of like when a quarterback has a record setting game, only his defense fails him and his performance doesn’t matter. Too soon?!

Tom Brady’s misery aside, this wasn’t quite what I would’ve liked it to be considering who was involved. Astro is really good when he appears (which is apparently once every two years) and Mini Joker has had some good Puebla performances himself. Neither one quite had it tonight though; I don’t know if it was rust, just a bad night or what but they were both off timing wise, Joker seemed to be going a lot slower than usual and at one point it looked Astro forgot whether he was supposed to be doing a pin, a submission, or something else entirely. Not a good look for two normally spot on guys. The match wasn’t a total loss because Pierrothito and Dragóncito were actually far better than usual, adding some nice pace and some cool back and forth sequences in fall three. Of course those two sequences only made up 1% of the match, so ultimately it mattered very little. What a shame considering we’re now going to go another fifteen years between good Dragóncito performances. Oh well; at least we’ll always have that Tom Brady sad picture!

Lestat, Starman, Tigre Rojo Jr. defeated Hijo del Signo, Perverso, Rey Apocalipsis two falls to one

What a strange match; there were times I really liked what was going on, and times I wish I had watched the Oilers game instead. I blame Hijo del Signo for that. You know how some people (see: Niebla Roja) benefit from losing the mask? Yeah, Signo is not one of those dudes; in fact I think he’s somehow gotten worse since the unmasking. He did nothing to change that impression here, dragging Starman down to his level during several plodding sequences. What made it worse is that everything around him and Starman was kind of fun! Rey Apocalipsis may look like a complete noob with his new mohawk look, but he’s at least a solid luchador and he showed that tonight with a nice, if simple, effort. Ditto for Perverso. More exciting were Lestat and Tigre Rojo both trying their asses off; the latter in particular was really motivated, hitting a great tornillo to the floor and even breaking out a 450. Why did he do this in a match that seemingly had nothing in it for him? Beats me, but it added to my entertainment so I welcome more nights like these with open arms! Let’s just hope next time Signo is replaced with Puma or Tiger. Speaking of Tiger!

Lightning Match

Stigma defeated Tiger

Inexplicably, Stigma and Tiger used this match to try and top the Guerrero Maya-Hechicero clash from just a few weeks ago. Even more inexplicably, they came a lot closer than I ever could have though possible. Oh sure, it was still nowhere near close to the magic Maya and Hechi pulled off, but the fact that it…alright I’m not sure where I was going with this. The point was this match, while not great, was much better than expected, mostly because Tiger is the dude, the whole dude AND NOTHING BUT THE DUDE! No disrespect to Stigma; he tried here and I thought he got better as he went along. Unfortunately he also had to rely on spamming the Backpack Stunner in this match instead of, you know, trying different things, which made his performance kind of vanilla compared to Tiger, who was out there delivering his usual blend of fast but sound lucha, complete with new stuff like a Sunset Flip Powerbomb off the top rope. That’s a move that may get Rob Viper to watch this match later! I wish he had been given more to do and I desperately wish he had gotten the W, but a good performance will more than suffice on a show that, at least to this point, had been weighed, measured and found severely wanting outside of Tiger and Tigre Rojo Jr. All about the Tigers I guess!

Dragón Lee, Soberano Jr., Titán defeated Ephesto, Luciferno, Mephisto two falls to one

An already strange night just got stranger with this match. For starters, the crowd was super hot for this one and I’m still not sure why. I guess Lee, Soberano, Titán and the Hijos del Infierno are far more popular in Puebla than I thought? Whatever it was, the crowd was popping and I suppose they were rewarded for it with stuff like synchronized suicide dives, Dragón Lee doing his Tetsuya Naito moves package (with a Missile Dropkick thrown in) and, are you ready for this, Luciferno getting pinned in the middle of the Star submission.

I know! When was the last time that happened; WCW? I don’t know if Luci was daydreaming about that sweet DDT he hit on Lee earlier in the match (on the ramp no less) or if that was the plan, but when it happened I made the same face I made last night when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Tsuyoshi Kikuchi could’ve beaten Misawa in his prime and I wouldn’t have been that shocked! Regardless of what caused it, it was a nice change of pace from the usual and now I may actually believe someone can lose to a roll up in the middle of The Star next time it happens. I just kind of wish that the rest of the match had been just as surprising. That’s right sports fans; for all the crowd noise, decent stuff and shocking twists and turns, I’m still not sure this match was better than the Lightning Match. It was certainly solid and any match that features the legendary Soberano getting a victory (over Mephisto to possibly set up a future match no less) is a win in my book; at the same time I just didn’t find myself getting to into it. That’s just life in CMLL Puebla for you I suppose.

Atlantis, Pierroth, Rush defeated Gran Guerrero, Marco Corleone, Último Guerrero two falls to none

Much like Peter Griffin’s death after Stewie took over the world, this match was quick and painless. Well for everyone except Atlantis considering he a) looked like he was in pain every time he took a step and b) ended this match by taking a shot to the gonads. Way to treat a legend on this of all nights CMLL! Really the only take away to have from this match is that Atlantis-UG nine…thousand is happening next week and…are we sure it’s a good thing? Granted Atlantis did look like himself a few Friday’s ago, but since then he’s been looking less like the legend he is and more like the dude who could barely move in New Japan. Should he really be put in a singles match this soon? I guess maybe CMLL’s thinking they can use this matchup as a test and hey, if there’s anyone who can get something out of Atlantis, it’s without question Último Guerrero (the guy who helped Atlantis look like himself just a few Friday’s ago). But man, I’m not sure about this one. At least it gives us a reason to tune in next week; we’re either going to see that Atlantis still has it or that the best days of the legend are, sadly, finally behind him once and for all. Please be the former, please be the former, PLEASE GRODD PLEASE BE THE FRIGGIN FORMER!

That'll do sports fans. I'm off to the Oilers after party with the hopes that I can finally make Nicole Matthews realize I'm the one for her. Wish me luck! Till next time, THIS!

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