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CMLL Tuesday: The Lame Show

Updated on July 25, 2017

What do you get when you put one good match, a few good performances and the subject matter of the Deftones classic song “Bored”? Why CMLL Tuesday of course! Maybe I was in the wrong mood tonight or something, but this show largely did nothing for me, outside of a half decent opener match with some great performances and a “good as expected” Lightning Match. Otherwise I spent the majority of this show questioning why I was doing this review, and then doing it anyway. I must really love you guys. But enough of me being sappy, let’s get this bad boy out of the way so we can all move on to bigger and better things. Moses, are you ready to meme and roll?

Apocalipsis & Yago defeated Fiero & Sangre Imperial two falls to one

This match was 9,000% better than I thought it would be; and I thought NOTHING of this match going in. Talk about taking things I never thought I’d say today for $200 Alex. The story of this match was the two guys I had never really heard of; Fiero and Yago. Both have appeared on CMLL shows before, but it’s been few and far between and they’ve never really left an impression. That wasn’t the case tonight. Fiero had a Star Jr. feel to him, someone who has a lot of ability and a lot of promise if given the right people to work with, and luckily Yago was just the right kind of rudo. Both guys were really smooth, really different than the normal opening match luchadors and produced some really nice spots along the way, including Fiero reversing a top rope Death Valley Driver attempt by Yago into a Frankensteiner. With moves like that, all Sangre Imperial and Apocalipsis needed to do was not fuck up too much and they didn’t; in fact, this may have been the best Sangre Imperial has ever looked. Not a high bar to climb granted, but it’s something (as was his DVD on Apocalipsis into Yago). It won’t be mistaken for a Match of the Year contender or anything, but this was a much better than expected opener and a look at two good talents who could do well in CMLL. You know, if the booking team gets behind them. And just like that I’m depressed.

Arkángel de la Muerte, Cancerbero, Sangre Azteca defeated Astral, Oro Jr., Star Jr. two falls to one

Remember when Oro Jr. beat Nitro last week and it was super awesome? Yeah, CMLL was having none of that this week, with Oro quickly being back to jobbing out for the grumpy old luchador brigade in this match. At least Star Jr. and Astral suffered with him I suppose. I honestly can’t be too hard on this match as, for once, the rudos were completely botching shit left and right for once in their miserable existence. Unfortunately they also did the same thing they always did; ball shots, basic maneuvers and a whole lot of boring beat downs that look even worse when you see Oro, Star Jr. and Astral doing cool flips every now and then. And really, that’s all you need to know here; the match was clicking nicely when the young high flyers were allowed to do stuff, then it grounded to a halt once that ended. Just another second match on a Tuesday night in Arena Mexico. What a pity.

Blue Panther Jr., Stigma, The Panther defeated Disturbio, Misterioso Jr., Sagrado two falls to one

Just when you were thinking “Virus vs. Rey Cometa can’t get here soon enough”, this match came along and started off with Stigma hitting Brillo Dorada on Sagrado. That’s got to be the best start to a first fall in a long time, and also the creepiest considering I’m writing about Máscara Dorada tomorrow and then Stigma pulled that off. Is he like reading my thoughts or something?!

From there the match didn’t really let up. The Panthers were on form as per usual, with Junior looking spry and Panther doing all sorts of wonderful things that make you wonder why CMLL isn’t doing more with him. Misterioso and Disturbio didn’t have much to do, but they were solid none the less. But the main highlight was Stigma and Sagrado; they really clicked working together tonight, almost as if they were synched together Pacific Rim style. It didn’t hurt they were really crisp on top of that, with Sagrado breaking out an awesome top rope elbow and Stigma just looking a whole lot better than he did last night. All this makes it all the more disappointing that CMLL went with the lame ending of Sagrado unmasking Stigma, a finish that would seem to suggest CMLL’s going somewhere with these two…except they aren’t. Why do it then? Who can say for sure? Maybe it’s a bit unfair, but that finish is enough to make me knock this match down a peg. It was still solid and might’ve been the best match of the night (if not for the next one), but it deserved a whole hell of a lot better than the Arena Mexico special to end it, especially when the only place that finish is leading is to me rolling my eyes while getting another glass of chocolate milk.

Lightning Match

Rey Cometa defeated Virus

You’ll never believe this, but this match RULED. Who could’ve guessed when they saw these two matched up against each other?! As with the best Virus/Lightning Matches, this was all about escalation. It started off with Virus controlling the pace on the mat, things getting faster and faster as we went along and ultimately Cometa prevailed because Virus, as great as he is, just doesn’t quite have the hops Cometa does. You wouldn’t be blamed for thinking otherwise though; Virus looked just as fast and just as athletic as Cometa during a good chunk of that match, a true testament to how great the dude still is even in his late 40’s. Cometa was no slouch either though, breaking out top rope Frankensteiner’s, a nice suicide dive and an awesome Frog Splash that ultimately grabbed him the victory with about two minutes left. I’m sure these two can do better and you’re always going to lose a little bit in these matches due to the time constraints, but this was just as good as expected and easily the best bout of the evening. Now if only CMLL could give Virus bigger singles opportunities!

Dragón Lee, Guerrero Maya Jr., Johnny Idol defeated Dragón Rojo Jr., Pólvora, Vangellys two falls to one

This match looked like a lot of fun on paper…and then ended up being a colossal bore until the end of the second fall. I don’t get it either! Sure it got better once Dragón Lee started doing dives and the third fall was actually pretty good, but damn; that first fall and a quarter did nothing for more. And I like everyone not named Vangellys in this match. The only saving grace for that time period, which consisted mostly of a rudo beat down and little else, was Dragón Rojo honing in on Dragón Lee in what looked to be a set up for a big time match next week. What did it ultimately lead to in the end?

And with that, I think I’m starting to see the big problem with this show. We saw it earlier with Sagrado and Stigma doing great work together, only for that to end in a mask pull that’s not going anywhere. Same deal here, minus the mask pull. Dragón Lee vs. Dragón Rojo Jr. isn’t the most exciting match in history, but it’s probably a great match nine out of ten times and a good chance for Rojo to show he’s quietly very underrated. And yet, despite the two beefing all match, we ultimately get nothing to show for it, as Lee ended up not even interacting with Rojo after he finished off Vangellys with a standing Spanish Fly. It just makes no sense to do that sort of thing when it’s going nowhere; all it does is make this match all the more forgettable than it already was. And that’s something I never thought I’d say about a Dragón Lee match. Looks like I picked the wrong week to start reviewing the Tuesday show again, huh?

Ángel de Oro, Marco Corleone, Volador Jr. vs. Negro Casas, Rey Bucanero, Terrible

And now we get to the reason why CMLL wasn’t building up those other feuds as much as they should’ve. I had completely forgotten that Rey Rey Buc and Ángel de Oro were feuding last week and, honestly, I’m pretty sure everyone else did too. Alas CMLL reminded us tonight with Rey Rey Buc and his gang beating Oro’s group in two quick falls, followed by Bucanero making a challenge for a title shot next week (that Oro totally accepted). In fairness to this, Rey Rey Buc usually comes through in big time singles action (see his awesome match with Hechicero from last year) and Ángel de Oro and him did seem to have some chemistry during this match. So I’m not going to discount next week’s match entirely. That said, we could’ve had Sagrado vs. Stigma or Dragón Lee vs. Dragón Rojo Jr. next week, and instead we got this? It’s like trading in James Cameron’s Titanic for one of those animated Titanic films the Nostalgia Critic reviewed. Just a weird decision all around that really only succeeds in distracting from the fact that this match was shorter than Mini Me. I guess we can at least look forward to next week when these two have a better than expected main event, followed by CMLL setting up Diamante Azul vs. Shocker in a match absolutely no one wants to see. Don’t worry, I’m just kidding about that last part. Unless Paco reads this. Please Paco, don’t read this.

And I’m spent. I’m off to play NHL 17, think over my Gran Metalik column and plan my mother’s birthday celebration tomorrow. Happy birthday mom! Till we meet again, THIS!

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