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CMLL Tuesday: Welcome to the Bully Club (F-F-F-For Life!)

Updated on August 16, 2016

If last night’s CMLL Super Puebla left a bad taste in your mouth (and unless your Shocker’s family it probably did), tonight’s CMLL Tuesday show is just the tonic you need. It wasn’t the be all end all by any stretch, but overall this was an entertaining show from beginning to end, with even the worse match on the card delivering a memorable moment that’s at least worth going back and seeing in gif form later. Classic CMLL; just when you think it’s time to take the night off, they pull you back in with some sweet lucha action and keep you committed for the next week. Such is life on the lucha scene. But enough of my troubles, it’s time to review. Moses, here we are now; meme us!

Leono & Sensei defeated Espanto Jr. & Inquisidor two falls to one

This would’ve been the definition of a forgettable normal match if not for two things; first it seemed like everyone in this match was trying to injure the other guy and secondly Espanto Jr. delivered what might’ve been the greatest kick I’ve ever seen delivered in a wrestling match to poor Leono. Let me tell you now, that kick landed so flush that I think I got post concussion syndrome from just looking at it. I mean we’re talking about the kind of concussion that Roger Goodell would try to cover up if he saw it. That kick alone is worth seeing this match for; on second thought maybe you’d be better off just catching a gif of it. The match is otherwise just a lot of average wrestling, unless you’re really into watching poor Leono give everything he’s got to make something worthwhile.

Oro Jr., Soberano Jr., Starman defeated El Cuatrero, Sansón, Skándalo two falls to one

Let’s get the big news out of the way first; STARMAN ACTUALLY WRESTLED! I know; I can’t believe it either. After weeks upon weeks of being advertised Starman finally returned to CMLL and frankly you probably didn’t notice much difference as aside from a suicide dive to Skándalo’s balls he was pretty much an afterthought. Luckily so was Skándalo (who by the way deserved that ball shot after trying to move out of the way instead of protecting Starman), which mean this match was all about Soberano and Oro taking on LOS CIENTIFICOS! That didn’t disappoint at all. Both Soberano and Oro were allowed to fly around the ring and looked great doing so, while Sansón and Cuatrero did what they do best; be gorram scientists in the ring thanks to their timing, precision and just overall beautiful skill. Someday they’re going to find themselves a trio’s partner that will make them legends I tell you. For now they’ll just have to settle for having good matches on the lower half of the card with talented wrestlers like Soberano Jr. That sounds wrong doesn’t it? Hey CMLL; perhaps it’s time to give these guys a shot further up the card? They’ll do more good than a certain overweight blonde dude who inexplicably keeps being allowed to main event shows. DAMMIT I’M ALREADY LOSING MY COOL!

Hechicero, Misterioso Jr., Sagrado defeated Fuego, Guerrero Maya Jr., Rey Cometa two falls to one

A lot of my fellow lucha crazies seemed to enjoy this match quite a bit. I personally thought it was okay, but I couldn’t quite get past a) the fact that none of the technicos were really allowed to get into high gear and b) how poor both Misterioso and Sagrado were. Really aside from Sagrado coming out with an awesome “Bullying Club” t-shirt the two were largely ineffective, producing weak offense and poor timing. In contrast their partner Hechicero was the star of the match, delivering two really great CM Punk style knees in the corner and one of the best submission finishes seen in awhile to take care of fall one. Was it really that hard for Misterioso and Sagrado to have some offense that at least looked half as credible as Hechicero’s did? That coupled with Fuego, Maya and Cometa being mostly kept in check keeps me from saying this was very good. It wasn’t terrible though, and when allowed all three technicos did produce. It just wasn’t quite on the level you’d expect given how entertaining and high flying all three of them can be.

Lightning Match

Stuka Jr. defeated Luciferno

Luckily things got better right away with this match where, praise Cthulhu, the right guy would win. I was probably more worried about this than I should’ve been, but after Luciferno beat Panther a few weeks ago for no good reason at all I felt it was best to keep my guard up. Thankfully Stuka won, and he did after what turned out to be the best Lightning match I’ve seen in awhile. Once again Luciferno came to work and looked even better than he has his last few times out, and he was impressive all those times too! The movement was good, he looked to be a few seconds faster and he also took more risks with a couple of dives. His effort only worked to further highlight Stuka, who shined as per usual and even broke out a (Matt Hardy voice) DELIGHTFUL suicide dive that resembled something out of the Aerostar/Mascara Dorada playbook. Really just a sublime match that only had one flaw; it was too short! We can give Shocker ten plus minute matches but we can’t give these guys another two minutes to bring this to a seven minute run time? Dammit, I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again. You see what Shocker does to me folks?! Oh goodness he’s in the next match too isn’t he?

Mr. Niebla, Shocker, Terrible defeated Ángel de Oro, Johnny Idol, Titán two falls to one

For a moment I was hoping that Shocker, too exhausted from being taken to school by the UG last night, would’ve pulled out of this show and allowed a far more talented rudo to take his place. Sadly Cthulhu wasn’t on my side with this one and here he was again, stinking up the joint like Carl Edwards Jr. last Saturday against the Cardinals. Aside from him though the match was fine, and actually got better as it went along, thanks in large part to CMLL finally realizing how useful Terrible is. The rudo, after being the third wheel in all of his recent matches, was finally allowed to do stuff, and it’s no coincidence that the third fall of the match worked as well as it did because he was the primary rudo. He wasn’t the only bright spot though. Mr. Niebla carried himself well, managing to mix his usual comedic chops with a brawling style, while Johnny Idol and Ángel de Oro looked impressive again despite being given little to do other than get their asses kicked. The real MVP was Titán; less than a week removed from being destroyed by Rey Escorpión the luchador was at it again, taking crazy bumps and doing everything and anything to try and make this match entertaining. He didn’t disappoint in the slightest. Overall a better than expected contest, although the amount of Shocker and the lack of Idol does bother me. I like that the kid can take a beating, but he should be allowed far more offense than just one crossbody and a couple of knees. Give the kid a chance CMLL!

Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Último Guerrero defeated Máscara Dorada, Rush, Volador Jr. two falls to one

You couldn’t ask for a better end of the evening than this match, which lived up to its Match of the Evening potential even with Gran Guerrero replacing Niebla Roja. The only flaw I found in this match was Dorada and Rush not doing the Ingobernables spot again; you can’t give the people gold like that and then take it away! Otherwise everything about this was great. The Guerreros continued their trend of great trios wrestling, Volador and Dorada flew around a ton and Rush wrestled tonight like he had the ultimate point to prove. How else could you explain the way he kept dropkicking people like his life depended on it? Best of all is that CMLL did the right thing and used this match to build towards the Trios Championship match at the Anniversary Show, with UG and Volador going at it often and the Guerreros taking every opportunity to gang up on one third of the Trios Champions. Those interactions coupled with UG cheating to beat Volador yet again can only help build to a match that could be the best match on the Anniversary Show card. Exactly what was needed from this match and extra bonus to what was without question the best match CMLL has put out this week, at least to this point.

That’ll do sports fans that’ll do. I’m off till tomorrow, where I think I’ll get a head start on my preview for Friday’s Super Viernes show. Till then, a Ben-Hur meme that’s just as good as the pointless remake someone decided to make of it. Wait a minute; one of the executives behind Lucha Underground is responsible?! Tranquilo Cult, Tranquilo!

What was your favorite match on tonight's CMLL?

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