The Unhittable Arroyo Whiffle Ball and The Cuban Tumbler

by Robb Hoff

June 26, 2012

In advance of my son's birthday, his great uncle presented him with one cornucopia of a psychedelic cheesecake, all aswirl with vibrant food coloring layers of raspberry, banana, strawberry, orange, lime and turquoise.

It was as delicious as it was dazzling.

After opening his presents from his great uncle -- a Venetian balsa wood model sailboat with all the illustrated directions in Italian and an early 1980's plastic NASA model rocket -- it was time for the Reds game.

Then Bronson Arroyo took the mound.

Arroyo's whiffle ball velocity and movement befuddled one Brewers hitter after another until all of the sudden, we were watching Arroyo stick his toes into no-hitter water in the eighth inning.

It wasn't to be for Arroyo, who this time last year was more likely to suffer whiplash on the mound from snapping his head back to watch batted balls leave the park than he was to have a no-hitter within reach.

The stellar outing quickly faded into the background after the Brewers tied the game. Reds outfielder Drew Stubbs crushed a homer to centerfield in the bottom of the eighth and Reds wobbly closer Aroldis Chapman once again faced the challenge of saving a game.

Now Chapman has more than just faltered lately -- he has collapsed.

So if was more than just funny -- it was a palpable wave of relief -- when Chapman did one then a second somersault after striking out the final Brewer to preserve a 4-3 win.

Not everyday you get to see a near no-hitter, a closer doing somersaults off the mound, and a cheesecake that gleamed like it was brushed with the glaze of a rainbow.