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Congrats Pats Fans, You're No. 1 at Being the Worst

Updated on September 4, 2015

Congratulations New England Patriots fans. You're No. 1.

Unfortunately, this isn't the kind of list where you necessarily want to be at the top of the list since I'm bestowing upon you the honor of most obnoxious, clueless Stepford fans in all of sports. You are the Best of the Worst.

This really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who has followed any of the scandals involving the Pats over the last few years. No matter what the circumstances, Pats fans defend their team and their players, while simultaneously ripping anyone who doesn't believe there is a conspiracy to bring down their beloved team. I just can't decide if it's more annoying or sad.


It started years ago with "Spygate", then there were the murder charges against Aaron Hernandez and now this whole "Deflategate" thing.

All you need to do is check the comments section of any article about "Deflategate" and you'll see the Wicked Hahd devotion Pats fans have to their team and Saint Tom of Brady. They can't contain themselves now that Brady's four-game suspension has been overturned by U.S. District Judge Richard Berman. The only problem is that these dopes don't even understand what the actual decision was.

Yes, the judge overturned the suspension so Brady will be under center Week 1, but that doesn't mean he said he was innocent. Or maybe Pats fans just aren't intelligent enough to understand all those big words in the judge's ruling. After all, these are people who claimed right up until his conviction that Aaron Hernandez was completely innocent. Pats fans aren't exactly the sharpest crayons in the box. And believe me, most Pats fans are only allowed to write with crayons.

Patriots "Heros"
Patriots "Heros"

What Judge Berman ruled is that the NFL and Commissioner Roger Goodell violated a few procedures in their investigation and suspension of Brady during the arbitration process. "The court finds that Brady had no notice that he could receive a four-game suspension for general awareness of ball deflation of others. And because there was no notice of a four-game suspension in the circumstances presented here, Commissioner Goodell may be said to have dispensed his own brand of justice," the judge wrote.

So the judge overturned the suspension because Brady wasn't told he could get in trouble for breaking the rules? What am I missing here? And of course, Goodell dispensed his own brand of justice. The NFL has a Collective Bargaining Agreement and it stipulates that Goodell is the judge, jury and executioner in the NFL's punishment and arbitration system. The NFL Players Union and the players signed off on that CBA, so they gave Goodell all of that power he used when he "Dispensed his own brand of justice." Besides, it's obvious that Brady is guilty.

There is no question that Brady had a few clubhouse chumps employed by the Pats deflate the footballs in the AFC Championship Game. Well, unless you're a Pats fan, that is. In that case, you're suddenly a scientist who explains that it was cold and footballs deflate in the cold. Too bad, those "scientists" have all of their scientific facts completely wrong.

So let's just say anyone outside of the Boston area knows Brady is guilty. Hell, even Patriots owner Robert Kraft knows Brady is guilty. If he didn't know for a fact that Brady did it, then why did he agree to pay a $1 million fine and give up the team's first round draft pick in 2016 and fourth round pick in 2017? Innocent people don't admit guilt. And they sure as hell don't forfeit something as valuable as a first round pick. If there was even a chance that Kraft thought he could hide the facts from the NFL, he wouldn't have agreed to that punishment.

Pats Fans are No. 1
Pats Fans are No. 1

There is also the fact that Brady acted like a guilty man. Why else would he destroy his cell phone right before he was set to meet with Ted Wells, who was conducting the initial investigation for the NFL? He did it because there were texts on that phone between Brady and the guy who deflated the footballs, Jim McNally. Of course, Pats fans still insist that McNally's nickname was "the Deflator" because he was trying to lose weight. Yes, yes. Of course that's why. And Ted Kennedy was a good driver, right? Dopes.

It's obvious that Goodell went overboard in his punishment on Brady, but that's only because Brady was acting like the guy at the center of the original "Gate". That would be Richard Nixon in Watergate. Nixon got himself in real trouble when he got involved in a cover-up. Brady got himself in real trouble with Goodell when he refused to answer questions and destroyed his phone to cover-up his incriminating texts. That and the long history of cheating by the Patriots organization led to Goodell going with the long four-game suspension.

Unfortunately, this whole thing is far from over, since the NFL has already appealed the ruling. Sorry Pats fans, but you'll have to keep up with the angry tweets and rants in comments sections for a little while longer. Your hero isn't out of the woods yet in the court of public opinion.....or in the actual courts.

Do you think Tom Brady asked for the footballs to be deflated

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The really sad part about all of this is the fact that if Brady wasn't such a jerk about the whole thing, it never would have gotten this far. All he had to do was say that, yes, he liked the footballs a little less inflated, but he never specifically directed any Patriots employees to adjust the pressure in the footballs during games. Other quarterbacks have gone on record as saying they like the footballs a little harder or a little softer and Goodell isn't going after them. But Goodell went after Brady because he and the Pats were so arrogant about the whole thing. Shocking with such a personable coach like Bill Belichick, right?

Of course, Pats fans are just as arrogant.....and obnoxious. I guess it's easy to be arrogant when your team constantly wins Super Bowls. It's just too bad everyone outside the greater Boston area considers all the Patriots' Championships to be tainted in some way by "Spygate" and now "Deflategate".

But fear not Pats fans. It doesn't matter if the character of your quarterback, coach, owner and entire organization is called into question because of these repeated scandals. You, Pats fans, will now and forever be considered the No. 1 fans in all of sports. It's just a shame that you're No. 1 at being the worst fans.


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