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Finally! The CMLL Running Diary Has Come Back!

Updated on March 20, 2017

You may have noticed; it's been awhile since I've done one of those CMLL running diaries. Why? One, they're exhausting to do. Two, every time I do one the show never ends up being as good as I hope, making me feel like I'm jinxing something. Three, did I mention they were exhausting? So I put the concept on ice till there was a show I felt worthy. Tonight is that show! What can I say; I really am that excited for that Zeuxis-Sugehit Lightning Match! So let's get this party started early! Moses, meme it like the Vampiro Era has just begun!

10:43: We are live, LIVE from the palace of Cult babay! There's still about seventeen minutes away from showtime, so I'm taking this opportunity to promote this column AND watch episode 30 of Lucha Underground's first season on Netflix. Texano is currently helping THE GREATEST TRIOS TEAM THAT EVER LIVED (Ivelisse, Angelico and Son of Havoc) retain their trios titles agaisnt Cage, Big Ryck and Daivari. Remember that Daivari-Texano feud? Pepperidge Farm remembers.


10:49: Promoting is done and Pentagon vs. Sexy Star in a submission match has just started! Nothing leads into a show better than the match where Vampiro-Pentagon began. Also I'm pretty sure this is the match that turned people against Sexy Star. You can never go wrong with that.


10:54: Pentagon just put Sexy in that Tombstone submission, reminding us once more that the Tombstone Submission is awesome and Pentagon is the GOAT.


10:56: I had forgotten how good this match was! What the hell happened to Sexy Star sports fans? She was just fine in season one; nowadays she's like Stephan Marbury when he played for the Knicks.


10:57: It's the damn Super Fly! And he's attacked Sexy Star! AND WE ALL ALREADY KNEW THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED! I'm going to say this is Super Fly prematurely lashing out over Aerostar shaving his head two years after this.


10:58: Pentagon wins. Here comes the arm breaking, only... VAMPIRO IS IN THE RING! Great moment, and we'll have to leave it there because CMLL IS LIVE!!!!!!

11:00: YouTube is having to update on my Playstation. DAMMIT! Luckily the announcer dude is just doing his usual shtick to start the show, so we aren't missing much.


11:02: It's up...AND HE'S STILL DOING HIS ANNOUNCEMENTS! Rey Apocalipsis and Toro Bill Jr. think this guy is slow.


11:04: Speaking or Apocalipsis and Toro Bill, they're up first, teaming with King Jaguar to take on Paris, Meyer and Vega. This will either be very good or like that scene in Star Trek: The Motion Picture where we watch the Enterprise move so slow that Zack Snyder couldn't even get into it.


11:07: Meyer and Toro Bill are captains. Thought you'd like to know.


11:09: Looks like the captains will begin and, as is CMLL custom, they begin with mat work. Is there any more 7-Up in the fridge?


11:10: Hey; that didn't suck!

11:12: Vega and Rey Apocalipsis just had a serviceable one minute sequence. Jaguar and Paris are now in.


11:14: This has gone from wrong to wronger very quickly! First Paris messes up and arm drag and then Jaguar looks as though he sandbags a Paris backbreaker. Luckily Rey Apocalipsis saves us with a tornillo! Yes, it happened and yes it ruled.


11:15: Everything is coming up Meyer. He took care of Rey Apocalipsis and then proceeds to take care of Jaguar with a submission! 1-0 technicos. Solid if unspectacular stuff, minus Paris and Jaguar's sequence. Loved the Apocalipsis tornillo though!


11:17: Fall two stars with Meyer schooling Apocalipsis. Toro Bill comes in to school him, before Paris comes in to continue his sloppy evening. Jaguar then disposes of him, leading to Vega coming in to do some super cool shit, like that springboard arm drag he just pulled off.


11:19: OUTSIDERS EDGE ONTO A MOONSAULT BLOCK! Well done Apocalipsis.


11:20: Rey Apocalipsis has turned it on here. He submits Meyer to give the rudos fall two. Really strong work from him. Honestly aside from Paris this match has been decent; needs a little more to be good but it can get there with a great sequence or two in the third fall.


11:22: Rudos in control to start fall three. I bet this lasts three minutes, followed by me breaking out the long forgotten comeback picture! Grodd have I missed doing this, exhaustion and poor shows aside.


11:23: THE TIME HAS COME!

11:24: AAAAAAAND it's gone. Just like that Toro Bill caught Meyer with a great popup sitout powerbomb and the rudos are victorious. Sort of an anti-climactic finish considering the technicos were just starting to get going, but overall this was fine. The rudos (particularly Apocalipsis) were very good and Meyer and Vega both had moments when given the opportunity. Only Paris didn't measure up. Dammit Paris; I expect this kind of joke job from those PSG guys, not you.


11:27: No! NO! Black Tiger is here, which means his boring ass is replacing someone more exciting. Please not Rey Samuray, PLEASE NOT REY SAMURAY!


11:27: YES! He's not replacing Rey Samuray! Turns out Tiger is replacing Zaeta Roja, which is a downgrade but not so much that it's going to harm the match. Then again the match was pretty much hopeless aside from Samuray's presence.


11:31: Espiritu Maligno is out next as the final technico, followed by Policeman, Raziel and Cancerbero. In case you've forgotten (or just blocked it out) Policeman and Maligno are feuding. Riveting stuff right?! Maligno and Raziel are captains by the by.


11:32: Samuray and Policeman starting. Huh. Is it possible they're dropping the feud?


11:34: Samuray and Policeman had an unspectacular sequence with no suggestion at all that Maligno and Policeman have been feuding. Seriously; Maligno didn't even try to get in to attack Policeman, nor did Policeman do a cheap apron shot. If they have dropped this feud after having forced us to suffer through it for weeks, I am just going to...alright I'm just going to bitch about it on here but still!


11:37: Raziel and Black Tiger did nothing (the Black Tiger special) before Maligno and Cancerbero come in. Just when it seems like the feud is off, Policeman ges Malgino with a cheap shot when Cancerbero sends him into the corner and proceeds to lead a three on one assault. THE FEUD IS STILL ON! Wait, why am I excited about this?


11:38: Maligno surprises Policeman with a roll up while his teammates aren't looking. Black Tiger then follows up by hitting Cancerbero with a couple of sloppy backbreakers. 1-0 rudos. This match has me like.

11:44: Evidently leaving the room for a minute helped this match go faster! I came back to see Raziel and Cancerbero eliminating Samuray and Tiger to tie this fall up. Thank Grodd. Can this fall be like a minute, with only cool Rey Samuray spots?


11:47: Here's the fundamental problem with this match; the Maligno/Policeman feud is so "meh" that it's pretty much sucked the life out of everything and everyone involved. Samuray, the most talented guy, has taken a backseat. Even Raziel and Cancerbero have felt like afterthoughts. All because CMLL needed to do a Policeman feud.


11:48: Tiger and Samuray temporarily do some cool stuff, but it doesn't last long. In the ring Policeman hits Maligno with a second rope elbow and that's all she wrote. For the love of Cthulhu, doesn't Maligno have to beat Policeman one of these days? Guess we're not getting that singles match next week. Balls.


11:51: Zeuxis vs. Princesa Sugehit is about to start and some dude just proposed to his girlfriend! Loe is in the air in Arena Puebla!


11:52: HAIL TO THE QUEEN BABY!


11:53: We're off! Sugehit takes it to the mat quickly, followed by Zeuxis getting up and then showing Sugehit how it's done. That's why she's the Queen folks.


11:55: The Queen with a modified surboard. Sugehit falls on top of her for a near fall, followed by the two trading two more near falls. We're in the "feeling each other out" stage, and no it's not as dirty as I made it sound.


11:56: Sugehit has control for the moment thanks to some kicks to the ass and an arm drag. Zeuxis to the floor, Sugehit goes for a moonsault...and the Queen denies her!


11:57: Zeuxis brings Sugehit back into the ring and is trying to take off the mask. Come on Zeuxis; that never works for anyone. What does work however is a really good single leg crab that forces Sugehit to crawl to the ropes for relief.


11:58: CAMEL CLUTCH ON THE STAGE! Sounds like we have five minutes left on the clock.


11:59: Sugehit briefly turns the tide to get a nearfall on a Jackknife Roll Up. Zeuxis goes for a Package Piledriver, gets backdropped instead and takes a kick to the head. Turns out it's just the Queen lulling Sugehit into her web, as Zeuxis quickly rolls up Sugehit and puts on the bridge to get the win!

12:00: The Queen has a mic. She wants her rematch. Sugehit takes a moment to do her best Caristico impression before accepting the challenge. We're on for next week! This wasn't the barn burner these two can have, but it was a solid showcase, and it's perfectly clear in hindsight these two were saving the good stuff for next week. All in all, mission accomplished. Plus Zeuxis won. That's always great


12:04: Onto the next one! Rey Cometa, Stigma and the suddenly high profile Lestat will take Luciferno, Kraneo and Morphosis. Oh...boy.


12:05: Wait..wait...GOOD GRODD, THAT'S DRAGON ROJO JR.'S MUSIC! HE'S COME TO SAVE THIS MATCH!


12:06: I retract my previous statement; with Dragon Rojo now in for Morphosis, this match has a shot. That's how much a difference having a high caliber rudo involved makes...dammit all, I think I just butchered another sentence. And I'm supposed to be a writer!


12:07: On the latest episode of Thought You'd Want to Know, Cometa and Kraneo were named captains. We'll be right back after these words from our sponsors!


12:11: Holy fuck; I totally just spaced. Kraneo and Cometa are in the ring now and for all I know have been since this match started. Get it together Cult!


12:12: MASCOT VIOLENCE!


12:13: Mije's attack on Cometa's balls is all the inspiration Rojo and Luciferno need to go after Stigma and Lestat on the apron. Kraneo continues to work on Cometa in the ring and you just know this is all leading to Kraneo running over Cometa's head with his ass.


12:14: Sweet double stomp from Rojo onto Stigma. He's sent to the showers and Lestat quickly follows after a Kraneo leg drop. 1-0 rudos. Not bad at all. Not great either, but not bad in the slightest, and there's still room to grow.


12:15: Rudos in control to start fall to. This will go on for a bit I'm guessing.


12:19: Indeed it did, till Lestat moved out of the way of a Rojo shoulder block in the corner. One Lestat tornillo on Rojo and an impressive Cometa slam on Kraneo leading to a Stigma splash later and we are tied! Really liked the end of that fall and especially liked Lestat breaking out that dive. Show us something young man!


12:21: Stigma and Rojo start fall three with Stigma in control He even reversed Rojo's powerbomb!


12:21: STIGMA BABY!


12:23: Lestat and Rojo now going at it. Is it just me or have they worked really well together tonight?


12:24: To this point, Lestat is making the most of his time. He gives way to Cometa while Luciferno gives way to Kraneo.


12:24: Triple dive? TRIPLE DIVE! Really worried Kraneo may have squished someone landing in the front row!


12:25: Rojo and Cometa sequence! They exchange strikes before Cometa goes for a roll up, which Rojo reverses! Stigma in to break it up.


12:25: We have reached the "let's break up every pinfall!" portion of the match. Luciferno breaks up Stigma's pinfall, Lestat breaks up Luciferno's and then Kraneo breaks up Lestat's (which was the coolest by the way).


12:26: HIP ATTACK! That's lights out for Cometa, only the rudos don't pin him. Instead they take out Stigma and Lestat, with Rojo hitting his rope slingshot powerbomb and Luciferno nailing Lestat with the Luciferno Clash. Another rudo victory (have the technicos won tonight?). Good match, probably the best thus far. Not anything that will set the world on fire but the effort was good from all and Lestat really stood out. Dragon Rojo replacing Morphosis was likely a big help as well.


12:31: Oh no; it's the Los Ingobernables vs. Niebla, Terrible, Diamante match. We now go live to the internet's reaction.

12:33: I'm probably not going to be as talkative during this one. Can you blame me? If there's a Grodd or Cthulhu, this will end quickly. Naturally Pierroth attacks Diamante right on the stage to start this, indicating that even if this does end quickly it'll still feel like an eternity.


12:37: Fall one ends with Pierroth hitting a second rope senton on Diamante. 1-0 rudos. Typical Los Ingobernables beat down that is weighed down by Pierroth. I will say that Pierroth seemed slightly more competent without the mask. Then again I'm tired and might be hallucinating; you be the judge.


12:41: Not sure if this match is still going on or if the technicos got DQ'd for Terrible headbutting Mascara in the balls. Eh, who cares either way?


12:43: Rush eats a Niebla Splash and Mascara taps to the Walls of Terrible (get it?!). We're tied. Refreshingly this hasn't sucked as much as I thought. Hasn't been the greatest thing either though. The sooner we get to the main event, the better.


12:46: RUSH KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF THE PARROT!


12:48: Rush and Terrible having a bad ass strike exchange. Sadly we must end that so we can get another Ingobernables beat down. At least Terrible turned the tide quick and got some decent offense in.


12:50: DIAMANTE MONKEY FLIP!


12:51: There's the usual finish; Pierroth low blows Diamante and takes his mask, causing a DQ finish. The bigger thing is Rush attacking 80 something year old ref Pompin after the match! No man is safe with Rush! Match was a million times better than expected; I don't know what it was but Pierroth seemed more willing to take moves here and just looked to be trying more. He'll never be anything better than below average, but the effort was appreciated. All three technicos did well and Rush and Mascara were alright as well. The finish sucked and this will never be confused as great lucha, but they got m0re out of it that I expected.


12:53: That said; WHY ARE THEY CONTINUING THIS FEUD WITH POST MATCH PROMOS?! DAMMIT CMLL!


12:57: Main event time! Caristico challenges Mephisto for the CMLL World Welterweight Championship. Princesa Sugehit is in Caristico's corner while Zeuxis is in Mephisto's. There goes any chance of me rooting for Caristico!


1:00: We get a handshake right before they tie up. It's very quick though; both guys are trying to soak in the atmosphere right now.


1:01: Well paced mat work to start. Don't be surprised if this and the second fall go by very quickly.


1:02: Caristico crashes and burns on a crossbody attempt, allowing Mephisto to connect with a normal Devil's Wings. 1-0 Mephisto. Told you it go quick!


1:03: Caristico charges at Mephisto to start fall two and instead meets the turnbuckle pad. Mephisto then connects with a punt to the head after lifting Caristico up in the air.


1:04: More kicks. Perhaps a slightly extended rudo beat down


1:04: Nope! Caristico ducks a clothesline, hits a hurricanrana, hits a springboard elbow and rolls up Mephisto to tie it up. Like I said; told you it be quick! That's just fine as long as they give us the good stuff here in fall three.

1:06: Caristico going full Volador to start this fall!


1:07: Caristico tornillo! The good stuff has arrived.


1:07: Mephisto gets back in and walks right into another hurricanrana roll up. This time he kicks out, much to Caristico's dismay.


1:08: Another Caristico roll up! Another near fall.


1:09: Huge Mephisto right hand sends Caristico to the floor and OH MY MEPHISTO IS DOING THAT DIVE AGAIN! High flying Mephisto is the best Mephisto.


1:10: Caristico rolls up Mephisto getting back into the ring, but the champ rolls out and connects with a PK! Caristico is out at two. Mephisto tries to follow up with a top rope senton and, would you believe it, he misses! Caristico gets a near fall on the subsequent pin attempt.


1:11: Mephisto blocks a Caristico moonsault. You guessed it; near fall.


1:12: Caristico Asai Moonsault!


1:13: Mephisto recovers quickly and gets Caristico in a modified Romero Special. Caristico gets out and nearly steals it with a school boy!


1:14: This match could've really used the Arena Mexico crowd. The match has been solid, but the crowd hasn't been strong at all.


1:15: HUGE HURRICANRANA BY CARISTICO! He's too hurt to capitalize right away though, and thus we get what must be the 9,000th near fall. One more and they get an autographed Vegeta collector's cup.


1:15: Another near fall on a Caristico crossbody. Important to note that neither La Caristica nor the super Devil's Wings have been used yet. They almost don't need to after Mephisto nearly steals it with a school boy of his own!


1:16: La Casita! Wow Mephisto actually made me believe he had it there!


1:17: Caristico goes for La Caristica...but Mephisto gets out! Mephisto then goes for a cover and...oh my! It looked like Caristico may have kicked out, but Tirantes ruled that Mephisto got him down for at three. Mephisto retains. Very good match; not quite as good as their Arena Mexico bout but that was largely because the crowd did not work with them as well here as they did there. Both men tried really hard, the action was crisp and moved well and the end sequence was well done. Put this in Arena Mexico and it's a great match. Here it was merely very good, which is still something to be pleased with.


And with that sports fans I bid you farewell. Hope you enjoyed this one. I'll be back tomorrow to review the Tuesday show and I should hopefully have something on Perro Aguayo Jr. as well. Till then, late night DUCHOVNY!

Please change disks to continue...

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