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Fixing the Slammy Awards.

Updated on December 13, 2014

Disclaimer and Explanation.

First off, I need to explain something.
If you voted for the Slammy's, it had about as much impact as a WWE app poll.
You feel involved.
You feel like you had a say.
But really, they decide who gets the awards long before you know about them.

Examples.
It was pretty convenient that Roman Reigns just happened to be there to accept the Slammy for Superstar of the Year. it's almost like he knew he had to make an appearance.
"Well, he knew he was nominated."
Oh cool. So where were Brock Lesnar and Sting?
Hmm. Okay.

How come they already had a segment prepared for the Uso's with their Slammy? I mean, I guess he could've improved the majority of the dialogue, but it still gave us a reason to see Jimmy... or was it Jey? I can never tell, with Naomi.

It's funny that the one year they gave out the "Pipe Bomb of the Year" Slammy, it went to CM Punk... Who coined the term...

Yeah. The Slammy's are Kayfabe too. I'm sorry.
THEY'RE STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT.

And now for the disclaimer.
I am not a magic wizard who decides what is or isn't true in the universe.
Just because I say what I'm about to say does not make it true or any differing opinions wrong.
If you disagree, I welcome your debates.
Enjoy.

OMG Shocking Moment of the Year.

Nominees-
Brock Lesnar ends the Wrestlemania Streak.
Seth Rolins turns on The Shield.
Bray Wyatt surrounds the Steel Cage with singing children.
Nikki turns on Brie.
Original Winner- Brock Lesnar ending the Streak.
My Winner- Brock Lesnar ending the Streak.


This one was a gimme.
I mean, c'mon, Seth Rollins breaking up the Shield was a good second, but the Undertaker had been undefeated at Wrestlemania for 21 years, and they gave that win to Brock Lesnar.
He took that momentum and became WWE World Heavyweight Champion before disappearing for four months.

Seth turning heel was a great moment, and definitely the first moment that came to mind when they announced this award, but it didn't have the historical impact that Brock beating the streak did.

I don't think that Bray Wyatt surrounding the cage with children was necessarily shocking.
Creepy? Yes.
Awesome? Absolutely.
But when you compare that to the first two nominees? Not very shocking.

I feel bad for everyone named Bella.
I think Bella and terrible acting comes to mind.
Whether it's a God awful Nikki/Brie promo or Kristen Stewart stammering through a terribly written script.
I actually saw that turn coming, as I said in my picks before the event.
Not shocking.
Just terrible booking.

Honorable Mention- Sting debuts.
Why wasn't that on here? He won the "This is Awesome" Slammy for how he debuted, and we have it admit, it was awesome, but isn't shocking more appropriate?
Sting had never set foot in a WWE ring outside of WWE2k15 before Survivor Series, and he chose to debut in the middle of the main event and change the landscape of the storylines.
I guess they couldn't put that over the Streak ending and they wanted to make sure that Sting won something.

"This is Awesome" Moment of the Year.

Nominees-
Yes! Movement occupies Raw.
Stephanie McMahon gets arrested and taken away on Raw.
Sting debuts to help Team Cena defeat Team Authority.
Hulk Hogan, The Rock, and Stone Cold meet at WM 30.
Original Winner- Sting debuts to help Team Cena defeat Team Authority.
My Winner- Sting debuts to help Team Cena defeat Team Authority.

Again, you have to give Sting the Slammy.
This is one of those moments that will be talked about for the rest of the time that the WWE is relevant. It's like Triple H staring down the Undertaker or the Pipe Bomb or Heath Slater being Randy Orton... Wait what?

Dwayne, Hogan, and Stone Cold being in the same ring is a close second for me though, I really wanted to put them on there, just because HOLY CRAP!

The Yes! movement occupying Raw was cool and all, but it wasn't something that really blew my mind. It was fun, but Daniel Bryan turning on the Wyatts and sitting at the top of the cage was a much cooler moment... Even if he was concussed.

Stephanie getting arrested was... eh... Part of the show?... I guess I didn't really hate her during that angle because I wanted her to beat the hell out of Brie so I couldn't really rejoice in her misery.

Honorable Mention- Randy Orton turns on the Authority.
With a small smirk, Seth Rollins said, "I'm sorry".
Randy Orton nodded, "I'm sorry too"
RKO OUT OF NOWHERE!
Randy's RKO went viral late last year as people crudely photo-shopped him into vines of people falling down, and right before a huge pay per view... in his home town... they wrote him off.
Disappointing, but I look forward to Orton returning to a huge pop.

WWE Diva of the Year.

Nominees-
AJ Lee
Paige
Nikki Bella
Brie Bella
Original Winner- AJ Lee.
My Winner- Paige.

I'm not necessarily a huge fan of Paige.
While she's a very fun wrestler, her feuds haven't gone over well, and she's not the best on the microphone, which isn't necessarily her fault, promos aren't as big in the UK as they are here, and there aren't many talented divas in the WWE (on the main roster anyway, watch out for those NXT girls).
The reason that she's Diva of the Year to me is that I can't give it to AJ in good spirit.
Nikki has been a face, she's been a heel, she ended AJ's incredibly long title run, and gave her competitive matches upon her return.
If AJ had been here all year, maybe I could've given to her, but taking several months off for her honeymoon (with some UFC guy), takes her out of the conversation for me.

Terrible promos.
Awful matches.
1 young title reign between the two of them.
I would reach down to NXT and give Charlott Diva of the Year before I gave it to anybody named Bella.

Honorable Mention- Stephanie McMahon.
Obviously she can't win because she only worked one match...
But damn she worked that match. She carried the hell out of Brie and looked amazing in that outfit...
I just wanted to give her credit because nobody else seems to forget she's wrestled slightly less than Brock Lesnar this year.

LOL Moment of the Year.

Nominees-
Mr. T thanks his mother at the 2014 WWE Hall of Fame ceremony.
Vickie Guerrero throws Stephanie McMahon in a pool of pudding on Raw.
El Torito vs. Hornswoggle in a WeeLC match.
Damien Mizdow.
Original Winner- Damien Mizdow.
My Winner- Damien Mizdow.

Thank god they finally found something for Damien Sandow.
Thank. God.
The identity crisis gimmick was funny, but he just couldn't seem to get a win.
As Mizdow, he's finally over with the fans, and the whole angle makes even the Miz entertaining. I love it, and I'll almost be sad when Mizdown and the Miz have their feud.

Why is Mr. T thanking his mom a "LOL moment?"
He was being inducted to the WWE Hall of Fame and wanted to thank his mother for working her ass off so he could chase his dreams... Why is that a LOL moment?
Kevin Durant does it and everyone tears up, Mr. T does it and gets cut off by Kane.
Yeah. Cut Mr. T off but let Lita ramble for three hours about getting drunk in Mexico.
Really classy guys, can't fix that with a Z-pak.

Am I the only person who thought the WeeLC match was incredibly offensive?
I wasn't personally offended, but I'm also 5'11...
It just... It seemed tasteless and I didn't find the humor in it.
"Oh, guys complain about being PG but can't handle something risque"
I'm okay with over the top violence, sex appeal, and cheap pops.
I'm even okay with making fun of stereotypes.
I just felt sorry for the mini-announce table.
Though... they were significantly better at it than Cole, JBL, and Jerry "The Perv" Lawler.

I think everyone really loved the moment where Vickie came out to Eddie's music.
It was a fitting way to send her out, and it immediately made up for every "EXCUSE ME" that made me grind my teeth over the years.
It sent her out on top and it was great to see Stephanie take a... Is that even a bump?

Honorable Mention- Dean Ambrose... doing anything.
With everything that Dean did, how didn't he get nominated?
The Hot Dog cart.
Making a vibrator joke about Seth's briefcase.
"Oh no... They sent the cruiserweight division after me".
I just don't get how none of that made the list...

Surprise Return of the Year.

Nominees-
Hulk Hogan guest hosts WM 30.
Ultimate Warrior returns to WWE at WM 30/HOF.
Batista Returns.
The Rock interrupts Rusev and Lana.
Original Winner- Ultimate Warrior returns to WWE at WM 30/HOF.
My Winner- The Rock interrupts Rusev and Lana.

I know that's a controversial pick.
I know I'm supposed to pick Warrior and be done with it, I mean... He was gone for a freakishly long time and had some serious issues with the McMahons and nobody thought he would ever return.
Most unlikely return? Sure. That's perfect. He and Hogan are great nominees.
But does it count as a surprise?
I mean, dirtsheets alone leaked that Hogan, Batista, and Warrior were re-signing, and that was before they announced it on the show.
Nobody said anything about the Rock swinging by.
I was just as shocked as everyone when his music hit.
It was awesome! Potentially a teaser for a Mania match, got to recite all the gimmicks, and nobody saw it coming.
I loved it, and it was actually... well... a surprise.

Honorable Mention- Chris Jericho.
I know he wasn't gone that long, and that he kinda comes and goes as he pleases. But when he and the Miz returned on the same night, I got goosebumps at his music. You can't say enough about Jericho for coming back, putting Bray and Randy over, and then leaving.

Extreme Moment of the Year.

Nominees-
Brock Lesnar hits 16 German suplexes at SummerSlam.
Kane hits Daniel Bryan with Tombstones on floor, steel steps, and table.
Chris Jericho hits a cross-body on Bray Wyatt from the top of a steel cage.
Seth Rollins curbstomps Dean Ambrose through cinder-blocks.
Original Winner- Chris Jericho hits a cross-body on Brady Wyatt from the top of a steel cage.
My Winner- This was such an obvious one, and it got snubbed, but Seth Rollins jumping off of the titantron at Payback.

I know it wasn't a nominee, but I refuse to pick anything else. It was an elimination match, the authority seemed to have all the momentum, and then Seth JUMPED OFF OF THE FREAKING TITANTRON. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! He did something similar from the crowd at Extreme Rules, but seeing as it completely changed the outcome of the match, I went with this one.

Jericho jumping off of the cage was pretty freaking awesome, and it's great to see that Lionheart is still willing to take a big bump to make a match look good, and if it hadn't been for Seth Rollins, I would've agreed with the WWE's writing staff on giving it to Y2J.

While suplexes aren't all that "extreme," it was crazy to see Cena lose a match cleanly. It was a massacre, and was strange to see. However... Not that extreme.

I look back at what Kane did to Daniel Bryan and wonder if that's what sidelined him.
I mean... Tombstones are illegal in the WWE for 99% of the talent because they have caused far too many neck injuries... Kane is part of that 1%... But... Look at Daniel Bryan now...

Seth Rollins curbstomping Dean through cinder-blocks was kayfabe nonsense and doesn't belong on this list.

Honorable Mention- See: My Winner.

WWE Superstar of the Year.

Nominees-
Brock Lesnar.
Dean Ambrose.
Seth Rollins.
Daniel Brayn.
Roman Reigns.
Bray Wyatt.
Original Winner- Roman Reigns.
My Winner- Seth Rollins.

I hated this.
Roman Reigns?
What the hell did Roman Reigns do this year?
Did he hold any titles? No.
Did he win the money in the bank briefcase? No.
Did he end the Undertaker's streak? No.
Well he had PPV success right? Uh. Not really. He lost a couple of crowded championship matches to make Cena look strong, only competed in one singles match on a PPV, and hit a few spears.
Now, he did break the Royal Rumble record for eliminations, and he was a part of the Shield.
But how does that stack up against these other guys?

Bray Wyatt? Well. Bray's character has had a rough 2014. He went from being red hot at the Royal Rumble to losing to Cena with Rowan and Harper at one point. The highlight of 2014 for Bray was his freaky intrusion to the main event of Hell in a Cell, leading into this great feud with Dean Ambrose. Speaking of which...

Dean Ambrose? Dean went from "the forgettable member of the Shield" to one of the hottest commodities of the company. Despite not being your typical face, his shirts have been selling like hot cakes, he main-evented HIAC, has a great feud with Bray Wyatt, was the US champion, did everything Roman did with the Shield, and beat John Cena on Raw.

Brock Lesnar? Do I even have to explain this?! He destroyed Mark Henry and the Big Show. He ended the freaking streak. He destroyed John Cena, and somehow changed the rules of the company so he can defense his title once every thirty years instead of thirty days.

Though Daniel Bryan's 2014 was very short, it was pretty awesome. He beat everybody in Evolution not named Flair at Wrestlemania and survived a vicious match against Kane at Extreme Rules. Unfortunately, Kane's tombstones were too much for Bryan and we were robbed of what could've been a great title-reign, but the YES! Movement was a ton of fun to follow.

And now for my winner.
Seth Rollins was the change of pace guy for the Shield.
Despite being the NXT champion and an indie legend, Roman's look and Dean's quirky mannerisms pushed them into the spotlight.
So what did Seth do?
He stole the show at Extreme Rules and Payback with death-defying leaps of faith.
But that's not what made him the Superstar of the Year.
When the Shield seemed unstoppable.
When they had the whole world squarely in the palm of their hand.
He turned on the Shield.
His attacked Dean and Roman with a steel chair and pledged allegiance to the Authority.
Since then, he's gone on to become Mr. Money in the Bank, feud with superstars like Dean Ambrose and John Cena, captain a team at Survivor Series, and participate in 6 of the 12 pay per view main events (including the Royal Rumble).

Roman's year doesn't match up with any of those, especially since he's missed so much time with injury.

Honorable Mention- Randy Orton.
How does Bray Wyatt make this list but Orton doesn't?
Orton was the WWEWHC through the Royal Rumble and Mania, was in half of the main events of pay per views, turned face, made a movie, became a viral meme, and was involved in almost every major feud.

Breakout Star of the Year.

Nominees-
Dean Ambrose.
Rusev.
Roman Reigns.
Paige.
Seth Rollins.
Original Winner- Dean Ambrose
My Winner- Dean Ambrose.

This one they got right.
While everyone in the Shield has gone on get over on their own, I don't think either of the other two guys have completely reinvented themselves like Dean Ambrose did.
He went from the crazy mouthpiece of the Shield to being someone who is brilliantly unpredictable in and out of the ring, delivering incredible promos with passion and bringing back the anti-hero character that we haven't seen since Punk's pipe bombs of 2011.

Rusev has been completely dominant, and actually had some really good matches, especially against the likes of Sheamus and Jack Swagger. He still hasn't tapped out or been pinned, and Lana has done nothing but add a metric ton of heat to his heel character. I'd like to see Rusev post-streak to see if he can maintain the monster heel gimmick or if he gets the Brodus Clay treatment.

Paige went from NXT nobody to WWE Divas champion in a matter of minutes on Raw and has been one of the most entertaining divas in the division ever since. Many people feel like she'll be the face of the divas division the second that AJ Lee decides to be a UFC wife. But she hasn't really broken out. Everything she's doing on WWE she had been doing as the NXT Diva's champ for months.

I actually think Roman has lost momentum since the Shield broke up. His lack of microphone ability has been exposed and he's been drawing unfavorable comparisons to John Cena and his "five moves of doom".
The Superman punch, Samoan drop, drop-kick, and Spear tend to lose their appeal when you see them over and over and over and over...

Did I forget somebody? Hmm. I'm sure he'll turn up later...

Honorable Mention- Dolph Ziggler.
Huh? What?
"Ryan, Ziggler has been around for a lonnnnnnnng time.
He was Chavo's caddy, remember?
He was part of the Spirit Squad!
He was a Vickie Guerrero guy?
He and AJ ran around with Big E?
He's been around and around bro..."
Exactly.
True, he cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase and has held the World Heavyweight Championship... But the actual title reign was far more forgettable than the actual cashing in of the briefcase.
This year, he's lost the "injury-prone" label, had a fun feud with the Miz, held the IC title, and been the hero in the biggest Kayfabe event of the year. They easily could have made Cena the guy who won it at SS, but instead, they tied the wagon to Ziggler and he didn't disappoint.

Match of the Year.

Nominees-
Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton in WM 30.
The Shield vs Evolution (Extreme Rules)
John Cena vs Bray Wyatt (Payback)
Team Cena vs Team Authority at Survivor Series.
Original Winner- Team Cena vs Team Authority at Survivor Series.
My Winner- The Shield vs Evolution.

Dean Ambrose, Batista, Triple H, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, and Randy Orton in one match?
Yes please.
It was such a fun feud that honestly ended too soon. Batista had to go push Guardians of the Galaxy and Seth turned Heel, but that storyline could still be going and I wouldn't complain. Memorable moments like Ambrose, Rollins, Triple H, and Randy taking the fight into the crowd, and Seth's dive from the second level of the freaking arena? AWESOME!

Everyone loves WM 30 because Daniel Bryan overcame the Authority and won the WWEWHC... But if you go back, he barely contributed to that match.
Batista and Randy Orton carried most of the match by themselves.
Nobody wants to hear that, because... well... We hated both of those guys back then, but Daniel was incapacitated for most of the match. Memorable? Absolutely. The best match? Eh...

I actually thought Cena/Bray was a bad match because it exposed Bray's inability to carry a long match. The feud went wrong when Cena didn't put Bray over at Mania, it got stale when Rowan and Harper had to bail Bray out at Extreme Rules, and was freaking unbearable for the third time at Payback, a notoriously bad PPV. I don't see how this made the list above my honorable mention,

For kayfabe purposes, the match was great. Big Show turned heel, Dolph Ziggler got to play John Cena and overcome the odds, and freakin' Sting debuted!
It was a ton of fun! I loved it.
But was it a better tag team match than the Shield vs. Evolution?
When you've got guys like Mark Henry, the Big Show, the Wyatts, and Kane involved... it doesn't quite match up as far as star power is concerned does it? Maybe I'm just tired of seeing these guys fight because the two teams continue to lock horns a month after Survivor Series, or maybe I just miss the Shield, but as far as actual wrestling is concerned, it doesn't do it for me.

Honorable Mention- Bray Wyatt vs. Daniel Bryan (Royal Rumble)
I know that everyone was pissed that Daniel Bryan wasn't in the Royal Rumble, but the reality was that he couldn't be.
He had a concussion after an amazing match with Bray.
It was exciting, back and forth, and really helped elevate the Wyatts to a level they would maintain until getting buried by Cena at Mania.

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