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Funny football quotes 2
"He's the kind of guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley - he'd probably use you as a human shield to get back to his private limo."
-Head Coach Dirk Doogle commenting on a player not known as a good teammate.
"I was penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike pretty."
-Wide Receiver Willie Rice explaining why he was flagged for removing his helmet while still on the field.
"For me, performance enhancing drugs would be a waste of drugs."
-Wide Received Willie Rice when asked about his workout regimen.
"I can go over the middle and make the tough catch, I can appear on Good Morning America the next morning. I can hang out with the president, I can block a linebacker. My talents are not mutually conclusive."
- Wide Receiver Willie Rice commenting on his multitudinous talents.
"I played so bad today that no one would want to steal my identity."
-Wide Receiver Jerry Gault after an uncharacteristically bad performance.
"I am upwardly mobile, incredibly agile, outwardly hostile, customarily gentile, and genuinely erstwhile."
-Running Back Clifford Payton in a post game press conference.
"I'd like to say that scoring against our red-zone defense is like taking candy from a baby, but at least the baby cries."
-Head Coach Bill Lombadri commenting on his defensive players.
'"Where I come from we don't fair-catch a punt. Unfortunately I'm not where I used to be anymore."
-Punt returner Altie Owens
Losing builds character but detracts from my ability to purchase Ferraris. I have enough character already."
-Punt Returner Altie Owens, to no one in particular.