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Funny football quotes 2

Updated on November 1, 2009

"He's the kind of guy you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley - he'd probably use you as a human shield to get back to his private limo."

-Head Coach Dirk Doogle commenting on a player not known as a good teammate.

"I was penalized 15 yards for unsportsmanlike pretty."

-Wide Receiver Willie Rice explaining why he was flagged for removing his helmet while still on the field.

"For me, performance enhancing drugs would be a waste of drugs."

-Wide Received Willie Rice when asked about his workout regimen.

"I can go over the middle and make the tough catch, I can appear on Good Morning America the next morning. I can hang out with the president, I can block a linebacker. My talents are not mutually conclusive."

- Wide Receiver Willie Rice commenting on his multitudinous talents.

"I played so bad today that no one would want to steal my identity."

-Wide Receiver Jerry Gault after an uncharacteristically bad performance.

"I am upwardly mobile, incredibly agile, outwardly hostile, customarily gentile, and genuinely erstwhile."

-Running Back Clifford Payton in a post game press conference.

"I'd like to say that scoring against our red-zone defense is like taking candy from a baby, but at least the baby cries."

-Head Coach Bill Lombadri commenting on his defensive players.

'"Where I come from we don't fair-catch a punt. Unfortunately I'm not where I used to be anymore."

-Punt returner Altie Owens

Losing builds character but detracts from my ability to purchase Ferraris. I have enough character already."

-Punt Returner Altie Owens, to no one in particular.


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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 4 years ago from Ohio, USA

      These are actually rather funny.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I thought these were funny.