ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Homer Bailey; King of the Wild Frontier

Updated on July 7, 2012

Homer Bailey -- King of the Wild Frontier

by Robb Hoff

July 7, 2012

The pre-Socratic Greek philosopher Heraclitus was heaped with praise for his legendary "Go to the River" analogy in which after some telling of the tale he disrupted the space-time continuum with that moment of profound awareness where we fully understand that we really can't go to the same river twice. (Mainly because the river moves, folks)

But I much prefer the contemporary of Heraclitus -- Cratylus -- who shortened the parable with the utterance that, "You can't even go to the same river once."

Now Homer Bailey won't evoke delusions of The Iliad and The Odyssey -- no Trojan War, no Achilles heel, nothing -- but his start tonight against the San Diego Padres is nonetheless epic.

The Cincinnati Reds are mired in the quicksand of a bad-hitting team right now, and need one more dominant start from their rotation after Bronson Arroyo's unspectacular shutout last night to keep pace with a Pittsburgh Pirates team that is starting to believe in themselves and will have the benefit of playing the dregs of the N. L. Central division -- the Astros and the lowliest of teams, the Lovable Losers themselves, the Chicago Cubs -- 23 times in the second half of the season.

Bailey has yet to seal the deal in his peaks-and-valleys major league career, but his sputtering has never been a question of plus stuff.

So maybe Homer is thinking tonight not about the Ancient Greeks or how many times you can go to the river, but, rather, what it takes from the neck up to be the biggest of big, the mightiest of mighty -- that's right, The King of the Wild Frontier, none other than Davy Crockett.

Granted Davy Crockett became a known quantity during his lifetime through the stake he claimed in Tennessee, but the man became legend where many a legend has been made -- The Lone Star State of Texas -- where he fought to the death in San Antonio at The Alamo.

So Homer might not Remember the Alamo tonight or wrestle metaphorical bears through his pith count or even be portrayed on the MLB Network with the panache that Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe Maddon will forever maintain now that Davey Johnson has proclaimed him a "Weird Wuss", but one unshakable certainty will carry young Homer Bailey forward into battle and the shadow of the valley of baseball death tonight -- he is facing the San Diego Padres and he has yet to lose a game to the Padres in the five games he has started against them.

That and a hopefully resurgent Reds offense -- whose meat of the order is a combined 11-for-25 with a pair of dingers against Padres starter Clayton Richard -- will rise to the occasion.

Either that or Bailey will upchuck one meatball after another and duck when necessary.

But I'm betting the former enough to pick up Bailey in the fantasy leagues I play for money.

Remember the Alamo?

You bet...and with every Homer Bailey epic strikeout tonight I'll be hollering, "Homer....Homer Bailey, King of the Wild Frontier!"


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)