ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Johnny Cueto, An Old Metal Driver and A Snake in the Basement

Updated on June 23, 2012

Johnny Cueto, An Old Metal Driver and A Snake in the Basement

by Robb Hoff

June 23, 2012

I wasn't able to watch the Reds game until the bottom of the eighth due to work, and unfortunately had to miss an apparently dominating outing by Reds ace Johnny Cueto.

But as the game winds down with the Reds poised to snap a four-game losing streak, I have to recap the start of this day just to catch my own breath.

When I went downstairs to retrieve a work phone number this morning -- about a half hour before needing to leave for my son's Cal Ripken baseball tournament -- I saw a black snake's head and a few inches of its body on the third step from the bottom of the unfinished staircase.

I backed up the steps then shut the basement door. I tried to figure out the best way to go about this. I personally don't mind non-venomous snakes one bit, but I just can't have one in my basement.

So I went to the garage and grabbed the short snow shovel because it is more rigid plastic than the longer shovel. I then remembered my old metal driver that I no longer use since I bought a Ping-shafted one with a knock-off head several years back.

And I went about my business.

I thought I might be able to hold down the snake with the shovel edge and grab the snake close enough behind the head to not have it bite me. Then I could have carried the snake into the woods and released it there.

Unable to do that and lacking a more humane alternative, I did the next best thing.

It was brief. It made me somewhat sad. But I did what I had to do and was glad that I didn't get rid of the driver some years ago when I bought the driver I use now.

Besides, my son probably isn't destined for the diamond much longer, and he'll need a good driver before too much longer once he grows into the one I used on the snake (I've had the driver for over 30 years).

He also has a decent swing already, so the driver won't go wasted.

And neither will the snake -- which turned out to be about four feet long -- in the woods where I snow-shoveled its lifeless body.

Anyway, in the afterglow of the Reds shutout win over the Twins, I have to hearken back to The Snake by John Steinbeck.

I believe I first encountered The Snake in high school and was compelled by its allure. I don't recall any golf clubs involved, but I do remember the mystery of the unnamed woman and the arousal of her request to feed the rat to the rattlesnake.

At any rate, read what you will, but hopefully there soon will be this to read:

Reds Are N.L. Central Champs!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)