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LEARNING TO PLUNDER -- The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Rise to Glory -- History of the Superbowl Part 33

Updated on February 5, 2010

2002

In early 2008, a movie becomes famous due to its' Oscar win --

Juno.

People know alot about the screenwriter Diablo Cody.

But what I'll bet you didn't know -- was that in 1976, Diablo Cody started a football team.

They were the NFL's other expansion team outside of the Seattle Seahawks.

They were located in Tampa.

They were the Buccaneers.

Diablo was THRILLED to be in charge of a real live football team.

She sat in the NFC owner meetings and thought to herself you know -- these guys don't have many ideas.

So she hit them with things they appeared to have NEVER THOUGHT OF BEFORE.

Bright orange jerseys.

Cocky ass white quarterback.

Bad ass black quarterback.

Making up the offense as you go along.

Don't worry about the defense always giving up 70 points -- for when our offense comes back out, it will be the Harlem Globetrotters baby!

All these people come out to watch football here? reasoned Diablo. Why not just go to a high school game or a college game if you wanted to actually...see football?

No.

What the Tampa fans want is a CIRCUS!

Exuberance!

Fireworks!

And a good time had for all at Tampa Stadium.

Oh that was wacky.

Better then this icky football.

See?

The best of their ideas were already done by AFC teams. Of course compared to the NFC, all this crazy stuff WOULD seem innovative and different.

That's why they let the "pretenders" have it.

And the worse of the ideas wouldn't be concieved by a fucking peabrain.

All culminating in...amazingly...an NFL team going BANKRUPT BY 1982!!!!!!!!

That's right.

How SHITTY DOES AN EXPANSION SPORTS TEAM HAVE TO BE TO GO BANKRUPT WITHIN SIX YEARS OF ITS' GRAND ENTRANCE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So from 1982 on, it would just switch hands and arrangements and deals until everyone stalled and everyone said na...I'm not giving you a retainer for anything that MIGHT be done.

Tampa would stay there and just suffer.

Enter...the NFC special forces.

For Malcolm Glazer would outbid a whole bunch of very very bad choices.

Glazer was the very very very very very very first NFC owner to actually walk the talk.

Ever.

DeBartalo watched San Francisco die while he was getting his pee-pee played with.

Jerry Jones...his nub.

Only Malcolm Glazer will truly prove to the world...what the NFC had always just assumed you knew.

Glazer made his fortune off trailor parks.

Don't make fun. That's where writers who could kick our ass at writing...live.

Trailors are not supposed to have ticky-tacky maintanence upkeep add-on bullshit applied to it.

Malcolm Glazer...made it happen.

It is Malcolm Glazer, guys like this, that make the less respected forms of living...just as hard to maintain as the ones that DO get respect.

So...nepotism, messing with trailor parks, and we haven't even gotten to how he gets his women WHOOPS I mean wins.

He hires Tony Dungy to build the whole team.

Then, after they can't beat the Eagles in 99, 00 and 01...Dungy is fired.

This is some NFC shit if I've ever SEEEEEEEN it, yo.

Enter Jon Gruden, who Al Davis was willing to let go because he could tell that Gruden was about to press him for more control then just making a face for the cameras.

Gruden literally wasn't allowed to do DICK in Oakland, and Al wasn't trying to make slaves out of people just because he was a tyrant.

He's an AFC guy afterall. Business can take place without...that's right class...hurt feelings. Bad faith. Firings. None of that.

Everybody shows their AFCness or their NFCness when it comes to Gruden.

In the AFC, they're willing to protect the bottom line in a way that gives him away so he can be happy and grow.

In the NFC, they ride a black dude who is non-threatening all the way to prominence...and then fuck his whole world. Pin every little problem on HIM.

Sorry ho.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Gruden had alot of pressure on him.

This had to of in fact been the most pressure-filled situation of any entrant of any job ever.

He replaces Dungy...that's one thing...but the Bucs give up 8 million dollars cash and four draft picks all estimated to be in the top 5 in round one and round two in the upcoming years.

With Gruden's failure...comes a Tampa Bay recession.

With a guy like Glazer to decide what to do THEN...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile two guys were making their star known who will have nothing to do with the Superbowl, the second one not for a while --

Chad Pennington and Terrell Owens.

Pennington will be the bencher for Testaverde until Vinny goes down.

Pennington was our dude for the entirety of this thrilling ass season.

Pennington will go down too in Week 1 of the following year. That's why he sucks now and has to play on Miami.

Pennington was the fourth string quarterback of the Marshall Thundering Herd.

Under Byron Leftwich, they would climb out of Division 1-AA and into the big one.

Leftwich was Marshall's Jim Kelly.

Pennington...was their Bernie Kosar.

Pennington leads them to back to back Mid-Atlantic Conference titles and WINS in their first two ever bowl games.

Pennington then goes to the Jets and is great in 2002.

They go into the playoffs and BEAT PEYTON MANNING 41-0.

Ahhh...shucks gosh....fiddles!

--------------------------

Meanwhile Michael Vick went to Green Bay and danced on Favre's ass.

---------------------------

The dumbest day in redneck history would come up in these playoffs the following week, when everyone was in the Divisional Round.

Terrell Owens was a dandy reciever.

For someone who didn't completely get along with Jeff Garcia, they played GREAT.

The Va-Giants take a 38-14 lead with four minutes left in the third...and of course...blow it.

Because Garcia hits Owens for all these two-point conversions after the touchdowns.

Literally...it was two touchdowns. Or something like that.

Then of course the New York Media blames the whole retarded outcome on OOOOOH...the referee didn't call pass interference OOOOH they wouldn't acknowledge that the guard was an eligible reciever...

Yeah, what was the score just nineteen minutes before that happened?

Here's another tampon.

----------------------------------------

It's happened on more then one occasion where Bill Cowher doesn't get recognition for a time out he calls at inappropriate times any damn way.

He's always yelling at the officials on the way off the field after some overtime loss due to a kicker that the officials wouldn't let him emotionally traumatize with his own demons.

Cowher's like the friend you have over to play you in Madden...who after you score on him five straight times says "Fuckin' Ashley Ambrose."

But in the meantime the Jets would blow a big lead to the Steelers, putting Cowher in MUCH BETTER GRACES with me!(fart).

---------------------------------------

The Conference Championship games were the whole point of the exercise.

8 million dollars and alot of future and past riding on this particular assignment right here -- the Philadelphia Eagles IN PHILLY.

Like in Learning to Fly with the Chicago Bulls of 1991 having to overcome the Pistons, Learning to Plunder...was about getting past Philadelphia.

It was Philly that had exposed all of Tampa's weaknesses, simply because their lone strengths WERE their weakness.

They had to learn how to keep Dawkins from rocking their minds.

Mr. Concussions And Shoulders Brad Johnson had to watch his ass against Hugh Douglas.

Meanwhile the Tampa defense...had Ronde Barber baby.

Ronde will be a one man show almost like Aeneas.

It is Ronde who will keep these fuckers wrapped up solid until JOE JURIVICIUS CATCHES A PASS OVER THE MIDDLE AND RUNS DOWN THE SIDELINE ALL THE WAY FOR A 75 YARD TOUCHDOWN!!!!!

Tampa had figured out how to get downfield against Philly.

From that very instant on...the rest is history.

Lovie Smith had the linebackers of Buccaneers while Monte Kiffin was the actual defensive coordinator.

Kiffin's a cool old man.

Lovie...yeah, he's cool too I guess.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were moving on.

Like Bill Cartwright says in Learning to Fly -- to get past those guys was...was almost a championship but...not quite. (smile).

----------------------------------

Yet like in Learning to Fly, the story was not about the Buccaneers, but about the man.

Chucky.

This Superbowl was "GRUDEN VS HIS OLD GUYS".

Rich Gannon since Gruden left had been the Brett Favre that was Brett Favre when Gruden left Green Bay.

Gruden was always always finishing what he started.

This was probably why so many general managers not only liked him...but let him have freedom when he wanted it.

The Raiders had acquired Jerry Rice with that 8 million dollars and LORD DID IT PAY OFF.

Gannon to Rice is something you need to have highlights of.

In the AFC Championship, as all season, the Raiders passing game was HOT.

Down went the Titans.

Yet in the Superbowl, down would also go the Raiders.

This is the first Superbowl literally outside of the Elway one in January 1998 where the team I liked would win.

The Buccaneers would lead 30-3, 37-3, just like the 85 Bears

They won.

And at the end of this video, much like Learning to Fly, there was Gruden looking at us and saying with his Chucky smile --

People ask us, can I plunder or do I like to plunder? Well I think as a team we've shown people...that WE can plunder...

And now the Tom Petty music, and General Manager McKay and Glazer dancing drunk on the plane...

And then Gruden going back to a jubilant crowd with Keyshawn Johnson holding the trophy as they get off the plane...

And Gruden telling 200,000 excited Buccaneers fans -- "Well we'd like to thank the Philadelphia team and their fans for encouraging us to do this."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH goes the crowd at the corny joke...nonetheless told by Mr. Jon Gruden.

http://hubpages.com/hub/LEARNING-TO-PLUNDER-The-Tampa-Bay-Buccaneers-Rise-To-Glory-History-of-the-Superbowl-Part-33


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