Lucha Underground Review: Crime and Punishment
Every once in awhile, Lucha Underground will have an episode or two where things kind of reset/cool down if you will; think of it as a time where some new ideas are introduced and the show takes a sort of “calm before the storm” approach. Tonight’s episode was just that, and it was so in the best way possible. While neither multi-person match was a MOTY contender, both delivered the goods and gave us two new stories to look forward to, while the middle match provided us with the beginning of what may potentially become one of the defining feuds in Lucha Underground history. Yes I’m going out that far. What am I talking about? Let’s not waste any time and get right into the good stuff! Moses, may your meme game be strong!
Cage Wants His Medallion, Fails Miserably to Get It
We kind of went with a duel opening here, starting with Cage confronting El Jefe (mysteriously stuffing money into a duffle bag) about Chavo stealing his Aztec Medallion. In typical El Jefe fashion, he stated that unless Cage got the Medallion back and placed it into the Gift of the Gods Champion Chavo would be considered the rightful holder, leading to Cage accompanying Dario to the ring as he hilariously announced the contestants for the match (he even quoted Independence Day at one point!). Naturally Chavo and Cage brawled once the last of the Guerreros arrived, with Cage dominating the majority of the action. Just one problem; he didn’t dominate all of it, and thus Chavo was able to place the Medallion onto the title and secure his place into the seven way match. YOU HAD ONE JOB CAGE! Unfortunately Chavo proceeded to get his ass kicked even after he secured his spot, and…well we’ll get to it. Let’s just say Chavo is nowhere near done with the Machine.
Fatal Four Way Match
Daga defeated Mascarita Sagrada, Kobra Moon and Argenis
First off, man is Famous B lucky he’s damn good on the mic. If anybody else out there was taking the mic from Melissa Santos every other week he or she would be chased out of the Temple with torches and pitchforks. By the way, is it just me or is Lucha Underground loaded with people who are top caliber ring announcers? Between Melissa, Famous and El Jefe, they have enough to form a ring announcer All Star Team.
If there’s one word that can be used to describe this match, it’s solid. Nothing was nothing earth shattering here nor was there anything particularly memorable, aside from Famous B’s introduction of Mascarita and the ending. Even still though, this match worked well for what it was. Mascarita got his stuff in, Kobra Moon (despite limited action compared to the other three) continued to look better and was it just me or did the Daga/Argenis interactions really seem to click here? I really liked the chemistry and I personally found this to be the best Argenis has looked in LU. The power of Daga works in mysterious ways! Like I said though, the most interesting aspect of this match was the ending, which saw Kobra Moon wipe Mascarita off the face of the earth…only to let Daga come in, hit an elbow drop on Famous B’s client and take the win, before going into what I can only assume is the weirdest mating ritual in the history of the western hemisphere. That’s right; Kobra Moon is trying to win the heart of Daga. I think I speak for everyone when I say I have absolutely no idea where this one is going. I can tell you that I'll be having a bang up time making some Kobra/Daga "Still a Better Love Story than Twilight" memes in the days to come!
The Moth Stalks the Solider
This was simple in what LU was trying to do; Killshot was shown getting ready for his match against Marty the Moth, followed by Marty appearing to engage in some psychological warfare, followed by a mini kung fu brawl that saw Killshot take Marty down and Marty STILL laughing about it afterwards anyway. The execution of it all however was BRILLIANT. I absolutely loved this scene, and I think it might be an underrated candidate for the most underrated moment of the season. Killshot looked like a bad ass despite not doing too much, while Marty…good lord has Marty got this character stuff down. We’re getting to the point where every character based thing Marty does deserves the upmost attention, and this was his best work yet. Well, at least till the next thing he did just a few minutes later. This is why the people want The Moth. THIS IS WHY THE PEOPLE NEED THE MOTH!
Killshot defeated Marty “The Moth” Martinez
No sooner did their backstage interaction end did the match between Killshot and Marty begin. And for my money it was the best match of this evening and in the long run a dark horse candidate for the best Lucha Underground match of season two. I absolutely adored this match; yes adored it, and not because there were so many amazing moves and whatnot (though there were some great sequences from Killshot as one would expect). Perhaps it was just me, but you could feel a different energy before this match began, almost like you knew something really good was going to happen. And it did, thanks in a large part to Marty’s brilliant character work again, which allowed both men to start out slow and then escalate as the match progressed. They were also given plenty of time to work and tell a story as well, something I didn’t expect when I previewed the bout. Best of all is that this program will continue; Killshot won the battle yes, but an angry Marty won the war post match by laying Killshot out and then stealing his dog tags, Killshot’s last remaining connection to his fellow soldiers lost in war. Sign me up for more of these. This was just the first encounter between these two and already they look to have chemistry and a fascinating story building. Just wait till they start involving Mariposa, any friends that Killshot may have lurking in the shadows and any number of stipulations they can go to.
Seven Way Match for the Gift of the Gods Championship
Chavo Guerrero defeated Texano, Joey Ryan, Aerostar, Sexy Star, Sinestro de la Muerte, The Mack
This match wasn’t what I expected, mainly because a) it was much shorter than one could’ve imagined and b) it was mostly used to set up Cage vs. Chavo going forward. Even still, this match was by no means bad, and if given more time likely could’ve given last year’s seven way match for the GOTG a run for its money. Everyone was given a chance to do stuff, Aerostar did his awesome reverse cannonball dive, both Joey Ryan and Sinestro showed some nice flashes for the first time all season (though in fairness, this was their first chance to do so) and I was ecstatic to see Sexy Star doing some damn good work. In the wake of the No Mas match it was important for her to follow up on it, and I thought she came out of this match looking really crisp with her moves and with a spring in her step. It’s very possible that No Mas match was the turning point for her.
Of course the big story here, much like the first multi-person match of the evening, is how this shindig ended. After we witnessed Chavo get absolutely annihilated by everyone in this match, Cage made his way down to the ring to seemingly put Chavo into the dirt. Naturally he instead attacked everyone else and ultimately pulled Chavo over Joey Ryan (after nailing Ryan with that awesome Screwdriver move) to give Chavo the win and the Gift of the Gods Championship. If you’re thinking this was a rudo turn though, think again; Cage evidently made a deal with El Jefe prior to the match where Chavo, if victorious, would put the GOTG on the line next week against Cage. So it turns out Cage isn’t a bad dude; he just beat everyone else up so he could beat Chavo up some more. And man, poor Chavo. Things were looking up for him with this title win; now he’s likely going to lose the belt to Cage next week. Then again, considering Matanza is champ maybe that’s a good thing. I’m pretty sure last week’s opening match would end up longer than Chavo trying to dethrone the Immortan.
Dark Training Sessions
Breaking news into the control room folks; Pentagon Jr. is no longer in the motorized wheelchair! That said, he still can’t walk, he’s now tied up above the floor of Vampiro’s dojo and Vamp (delivering a high quality performance here by the way) is still dishing out the tough love with some kendo stick shots to the back in between some sage (yet dark) advice. In short; the road to recovery is still a long one, and seems to be getting longer if the last shot of the scene (Vampiro swinging a barbed wire ball bat at Pentagon’s face) is any indication. I reckon this is going to be a controversial scene considering Pentagon was involved and because he didn’t exactly come across as the most diabolical hater since the so called Beautiful. I’d simply remind people that they are slow burning this bad boy right here. Pentagon has been broken Batman at the end of Knightfall Part 1 style; you don’t just overcome all that noise a few weeks later. We’re only in the beginning stages of Pentagon regaining his Cero Miedo mindset that he lost after Matanza beat him down. I for one welcome more of these scenes, especially if we’re leading to the world’s darkest training montage. Can we pay the newly reformed Misfits to cover “Hearts of Fire” just for that scene? Somebody tell Vamp this idea. He’ll bite at it immediately I’d bet.
And scene. Hope you enjoyed both the show and this column guys. I’m off till sometime in the near distant future. Till then, a meme! I know, there's been so few of them in this column!
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