NFL Picks. Week 16, 2015.

Sports!
The worst part about the last two weeks is that you never know who is going to rest their starters. That really can be the difference.

HEY! IT'S A PRIMETIME GAME!
HONEY, CLEAR MY SCHEDULE, I ACTUALLY NEED TO WATCH FOOTBALL ON THURSDAY!

The Chargers are just a bad team and while the season is over for the Raiders, there's no reason to think they won't come out in front of a ravenous Raider Nation and spank their division rivals.

#OneNation

This is why I want to redesign the playoff format.
Nobody from this division deserves to keep playing.
Nobody.
There are teams in the AFC that would destroy this division but they don't get to keep playing.
It's just not fair.
The Eagles suck, the Redskins suck less.
Merry Christmas.

#SignTebow

This game could actually be interesting.
The Jets have been playing pretty well, they get a little rest, the game is IN New Jerseyork, and the Pats are still a little banged up.
Keep an eye out.
I'm taking the Patriots because... well... they're the Patriots.
The end.

The Texans QB situation just got uglier.
Didn't know that was possible.
And honestly, I'm taking the Titans because...
JJ Watt is hurt.
Mettenberger is a fine quarterback for what you're asking of him... Let's see how it plays out.

Lol...
Lol......
Lol.........
I'm not saying that Johnny Manziel against this defense is a nightmare.
I'm just saying that Johnny Manziel against this defense is a nightmare.
I wonder if Tyvon Branch can score another TD this week...

Just because we're talking about backup's backups here.
What an ugly game.
This game looked like it could've had playoff implications in august.
Still does... kinda... but... ugly. Just ugly.

The Jags defense isn't very good.
Like... 25th against the pass, not very good.
If it becomes a QB duel between Drew Brees and Blake Bortles, with all due respect to what Bortles has accomplished this year, Brees still gets the upper hand.

The 49ers are just god awful.
The Bengals and Browns took turns just destroying them.
Good. God.
The Lions get a nice little feel-good win here.
Good for them.

Jeez...
What an ugly game.
I guess I'm taking the Bills?
I really don't want to but...
What in the world is starting for QB in Dallas?

It seems like the Bucs play a lot of bad teams and I never know who to pick and I always pick them.
Again, when two inconsistent teams play, and one of them is Chicago, I tend to pick the other one.
Sorry Chi-Town, you know I love you baby

Yup.
The Panthers are going undefeated.
Going on autopilot with these boys until the divisional round.

Gotta go with the hot hand here, and despite a valiant effort, the Giants defense got ruined by Cam Newton last week.
The Vikings need this win because they are wrestling with Green Bay for that division title.
Huge game.
I think Teddy Bridgewater has a game that not even I can complain about and the Giants are eliminated once and for all.

I'll actually be in town for this one!
In fact, I already am!
Look at me, in Seattle, Seattlin it up, Seattle style.

Wow. This should be a good one.
Regardless of who wins, this game has huge post-season implications.
I'm actually really torn.
I'm taking the Cardinals because that Green Bay defense is just bad. Just garbage.
And while I'm still not sold on the Cardinals in any way, shape, or form...
I'll take them tonight.

C'mon.
Do I really have to explain why I'm taking the Steelers?
The only way the Ravens win this game?
Is if they wear those hideously ugly pants again, maybe Big Ben gets confused and repeatedly throws to the wrong team.
And I mean repeatedly.
So many times.
Enough times to counteract...
You know what? Clausen didn't play bad football last week.
Not bad.
Not good enough to win a game in the NFL, but not as bad as Matt Schaub.
#SignTebow

HUGE.
HUGE GAME.
WEE WOO.
WEE WOO.

But the injury to Andy Dalton makes it a bit of a given.
Beating the hapless 49ers doesn't really count for much in my book, especially when they just got spanked by the pathetic Browns the week before.

I got two games back last week, but I still find myself down by a bit with two weeks left in the regular season. Here we go.....

San Diego @ Oakland: Ah yes, the battle between possible relocating teams! This could be fun....anyhow, the Chargers looked good last week, BUT, they played the Dolphins, who are crap. I keep picking Oakland, I keep waiting for them to pay off for me.....they will this week. I like Oakland in this game. Better team, at home, they win.

Washington @ Philadelphia: I kinda wanna see the Eagles win this game so that the NFC East becomes a complete cluster in week 17. But, I think that Washington is a better team than the Eagles are, and I think they lock up the division with a win this week.

New England @ New York Jets: The Patriots continue to roll on in their quest for the #1 seed in the AFC, and the Jets are really overachieving this year and find themselves in contention for a playoff spot. Jets have to win this game to try and hold off the Steelers....but they won't do it. Patriots win, and take another step to the #1 seed.

Houston @ Tennessee: Brandon Weeden vs. Zach Mettenberger. If THAT'S not a five star matchup.....anyhow, the Titans are a firestorm, no matter who the QB is. Houston gets the win, and probably locks up the AFC South with it.

Cleveland @ Kansas City: The Chiefs haven't lost in like a million years. Do you really think Johnny Football is going to stop that streak? Chiefs get another win.

Indianapolis @ Miami: The Dolphins are SO BAD.....but the Colts are missing so much. Luck, Hasselbeck, an entire defense.....plus, Miami has to win another game at some point, right? Miami wins, in what is sure to be an ugly game.

San Francisco @ Detroit: Speaking of ugly games.....the 49ers are UGLY. The Lions aren't much better, but they're better enough to win this game. Lions win.

Dallas @ Buffalo: Kellen Moore (is that what his name is?) gets the start for Dallas this week, meaning that Buffalo gets an ugly win. Next?

Chicago @ Tampa Bay: Neither team is playing great football lately, but, a long road trip for Chicago equals a win for Jameis and the Buccaneers

Carolina @ Atlanta: The Panthers tried so hard to give that game away last week, but alas.....they're 14-0. And Atlanta.....they suck. Panthers win this week and go to 15-0.

Pittsburgh @ Baltimore: Steelers win. DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT MOVING ON OKAY GOOD.

Jacksonville @ New Orleans: Very interesting matchup we have in this one. I could easily see Jacksonville winning this game, but I'm going with the Saints to get the W at home.

St. Louis @ Seattle: Yeah, good luck with this game, Rams fans. Seahawks win, BIG.

Green Bay @ Arizona: The Packers have seemed to rebound over the last 3 weeks with 3 straight wins, but other than against the Cowboys, none of those wins have been in convincing fashion. Meanwhile, the Cardinals are just good. Simple as that. And they'll prove that again this week with a big win against the Packers.

New York Giants @ Minnesota: Odell Beckham lost his freakin mind last week against Carolina, and he and his team will pay the price this week with him being suspended for it. Vikings are another one of those teams that I think are a year ahead of schedule in being pretty good, but they should win this game this week.

Cincinnati @ Denver: Finally, a good Monday Night game! Does this matchup have the punch that it would if Dalton and Peyton were healthy? No, of course not, but there's a lot on the line in this one. But, the Broncos have a better QB, and a much better defense, and they're the home team. Denver wins this game, but they have to score in the second half to do it, something they haven't done the last three weeks.

2 weeks left in the regular season. I need to pick up some ground. Will it happen this week??

ONE GAME!
THERE IS A GAME.
I TOOK THE TITANS. HE TOOK THE TEXANS.