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The Second Match Delight: News and Notes from CMLL Tuesday
Of all the things I never, EVER expected to say about a CMLL Tuesday show, this following statement ranks high up there; the second match on the card wasn’t only the best match on the show, it was one of the best matches CMLL had during the week. I know what you’re thinking; he can’t possibly serious. Except that I am 9,000% serious! The second match of tonight’s show completely stole the show, established itself as the leader in the clubhouse for “best lucha match of the week” and proved to be impossible to follow after CMLL produced four straight “meh” matches after it. As such, you can expect to see my notes tonight go from jubilant to “PLEASE GRODD MAKE IT STOP!” as we go along. But hey, at least there are some fun parts, right? Moses, get the meme out before people change their minds and go read something else.
Fantasy & Stukita defeated Mercurio Pequeño Olímpico two falls to one
-Stukita in for Último Dragóncito. UPGRADE UPGRADE!
-Fantasy and Olímpico start. At least this means no ass biting for the next three minutes; unlike Mercurio Olímpico isn’t into that stuff. Of course I’m pretty sure Olímpico is actually a zombie, but that’s a story for another boring Tuesday show!
-Stukita and the ass man are in! The match immediately gets faster and more interesting. Who knew?!
-And just like that Fantasy and Olímpico are back in. No sooner do I type that is Mercurio now in double teaming Fantasy with Olímpico. Needless to say it’s all a colossal bore leading to Olímpico tapping out Fantasy with a terrible submission. Much better is Mercurio’s elimination of Stukita with a swift, deadly kick to the head. 1-0 rudos. When Stukita and Mercurio were in it was fine. I’d rather not speak about the rest.
-Olímpico is beating up Stukita to start fall two because there is no Grodd and the cage wasn’t 30 feet. We all wish it was though Teddy. We all wish it was.
-Mercurio now taking it to Fantasy. He’s taking this match far more seriously than usual, which means he’ll be digging his face into Stukita’s ass any moment now.
-Or I could be completely wrong and Stukita could scare Mercurio off with flip after flip. Sadly it doesn’t last as Olímpico comes in to take control and start a double team.
-Olímpico has his first cool moment in years thanks to a nice Doomsday Device by the rudos. They then do a few other good double team moves while I wait for the other shoe to drop.
-STUKITA COMEBACK TIME BABAY!
-Fantasy leaves Olímpico prone and Stukita nails a very nice Stukita Splash for the pin. Mercurio tries to come off the ropes with a rana, but Fantasy catches him and hits a Spiral Bomb to officially tie it up. Were my eyes deceiving me or was that actually decent? Maybe I fell asleep again. It is known to happen.
-Deep arm drags from Stukita to start fall three. He eventually sends Olímpico to the floor and then briefly turns into La Sombra. Good stuff. Fantasy and Mercurio will duel now.
-NICE superkick by Mercurio. No ass bites as of yet either; CAN HE GO THE DISTANCE?!
-WHAT A SLAP BY FANTASY!
-Rana by Fantasy. HE then drops Mercurio down and puts him in a Figure Four. Olímpico comes in and we’ve reached the “break up the falls” portion of the show!
-Half Sharpshooter/half Billy Goat’s Curse by Stukita! Sadly Mercurio breaks it up. Stukita then gets a near fall on a rana roll up, and then gets kicked right in the ass by Mercurio. So it goes.
-Springboard headbutt by Stukita, followed by more Ingobernable antics. He sets up Mercurio prone in the corner and hits one, two and three awesome moonsaults to put Mercurio away. NO ASS BITING IN THIS MATCH! IT’S OFFICIAL!
-Olímpico is perched up top and UH OH! Second rope Spanish Fly from Fantasy (like clockwork) and the technicos emerge victorious. A surprisingly spry and watchable opener. What the fuck is going on here?! Last night’s opener was decent too, now we get this. Some divine/evil force is at work here and I need to find out what it is!
Akuma, Espanto Jr., Templario defeated Astral, Flyer, Robin two falls to one
-This could actually be very good. Or it could just be okay. Very little wiggle room.
-Robin and Akuma are captains. Edgar is ref, which makes me feel more optimistic than before when I didn’t know who was ref. I don’t know why I just pointed this out.
-FLYER GETS TEMPLARIO TO START! CMLL, this gif is for you.
-Very good sequence between the two. It be a shocking development except its Flyer and Templario. Of course it was a sequence of high quality! Espanto and Robin now have the unfortunate task of following them by the way.
-Robin doing good stuff before sending Espanto to the floor. Keep an eye on Robin here; he’s much improved in recent weeks.
-Akuma and Astral at his most orange are in. Astral goes for a headscissors and OUT OF NOWHERE COMES TEMPLARIO WITH A SHOTGIN DROPKICK! Brilliant stuff as the rudos take control.
-Akuma lays out Flyer on the floor, Espanto subdues Astral on the turnbuckle and Templario takes care of Robin. The rudos then take turns picking on Astral and Robin, before Akuma puts Robin in the Camel Clutch and HOLY HELL THAT DOUBLE JUMP SPRINGBOARD SHOTGUN DROPKICK FROM TEMPLARIO! He is unstoppable right now! The rudos take the 1-0 lead and that is what we call a good first fall.
-Flyer starts fall two by getting an Espanto elbow to the balls. Unfortunate.
-Astral is in next and Akuma, or the Master of Swing as I’ll soon call him, swings him right into an Espanto punt. All rudos right now.
-Robin is sent into the right corner and FLYER JUST ENDED ESPANTO’S FACE WITH A KICK! Back and forth offense from everyone till Flyer sends Akuma to the stage, allowing Good Astral to hit a double jump rana to the ramp.
-HOLY HELL THAT ROBIN RANA! He traveled a great distance and managed to catch Templario with it for the pin. He then leaves Espanto prone for an AWESOME DOUBLE JUMP SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT BY FLYER! THAT’S MY BOY RIGHT THERE! We are tied and this match is SUPER!
-Fall three. If these six can keep it up then this match could legit be great. Luckily Robin starts it off by going five million miles per hour to send Espanto to the floor.
-Flyer and Akuma time! Akuma floors Flyer, but our hero kicks up and hits a nice rope assisted rana before walking right into an Akuma spear! Ouch.
-More Flyer and Akuma. Flyer avoids a corner attack, hits a kick and…WHAT A RANA BY FLYER!
-SLINGSHOT RANA OFF THE TURNBUCKLE BY FLYER! WOW!
-Astral in with Templario, which at least cuts down the chances of Astral fucking shit up to very low. Templario then tosses Astral into the turnbuckle, and Astral somehow looks even more orange.
-Nice arm drag by Astral. He then lures Templario to the floor and hits a decent Astral rana that looked like it would fail, but didn’t. Classic Astral!
-Robin and Akuma…WHAT A SPRINGBOARD ARM DRAG BY ROBIN AND WHAT AN AMAZING MOONSAULT AS A FOLLOW UP!
-GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB LUNGBLOWER BY TEMPLARIO! Astral says goodnight and FLYER COMES IN WITH A ROPE ASSISTED DESTROYER! Unfortunately Espanto then immediately hits a destroyer of his own and picks up the win. AWESOME MATCH! Wow, it was even better than I thought it would be and I thought it be great. Flyer, Robin and Templario looked like superstars at all times in this match, Astral and Espanto didn’t screw anything up and poor Akuma unfortunately had little to do, only it didn’t matter because THIS WAS AWESOME! More of this from now on please!
Marcela, Princesa Sugehit, Silueta defeated Metálica, Reyna Isis, Tiffany two falls to one
-I’m gonna be honest; I had to take the dogs out for a walk during this match (that is my actual paying job after all) so there’s a good chance I missed a good chunk of it. As I type, Metálica is owning Marcela and putting her on the top rope, which only leads to Marcela dropping the knees on the ruda from the second rope.
-Timing issues! Timing issues everywhere!
-THAT IS ONE BAD ASS TRIPLE SUBMISSION RIGHT THERE! The technicas stretched out Metálica and Tiffany while Marcela put Reyna in the Romero Special. Cool stuff to end what appears to be fall two.
-Reyna Isis and Silueta start off fall three. Not sure this is a good idea seeing how Reyna works best with Marcela, but hey; you do you CMLL.
-To their credit, both are trying, it’s just clear they’ve hardly worked together. Sequence ends with Silueta sending Reyna to the floor with an arm drag before the other two rudas come in for the double team.
-Somehow Marcela ended up on the wrong end of that double team, and now Sugehit is getting owned. Is it possible that I haven’t missed any fall?
-Silueta now getting owned, with Reyna putting the finishing touch on things with a Shotgun to the nether regions. Marcela now back in to take the triple team. She’s felled with a triple big boot and Metálica then comes off the top with that awesome Swanton Bomb of hers. Silueta is then set up prone in the corner and Reyna hits the Vader Bomb to either tie this up or emphatically win the match for the rudas. I’m going with the former, in which case this match has been okay and yet nowhere near as good as the last match.
-More ruda beat downs to start fall three.
-Nice triple attack by the technicas as the comeback starts. Silueta then takes Metálica to the floor while Sugehit…takes Tiffany to the floor, while Marcela takes Reyna to the floor. EVERYONE TO THE FLOOR!
-Nice rana by Metálica getting back in the ring and HEY! That’s a pretty good suicide splash by Metálica to the floor! Reyna then misses a slow forming splash on the floor, and Silueta comes off the top with a very nice crossbody to wipe everyone out! What just happened?
-Sugehit wastes no time tapping out Tiffany and the technicas win. It was slow at times and dreadfully dull at others, but some spots were pretty good and the end sequence was above average! Metálica looked very good in this match, and Reyna continues to try things while still needing some polishing. Okay match.
Fuego defeated Pegasso
-Fast start to watch should be a fast match. The question here is can Pegasso give anything or is he going to land on his knees doing the 450 again?
-Rana by Pegasso. Fuego goes to the floor and IT’S TORNILLO TIME! Hechicero is quite impressed at the booth.
-Crossbody by Fuego as we get back in the ring. He avoids a Pegasso attack, dances, fakes him out with arm drags, then hits an arm drag before finding himself on the apron. He avoids Pegasso again, watches him slide to the floor then hits the ropes for a perfect tope con hilo!
-Fuego rolls out of a Pegasso crossbody for a near fall. Very much a back and forth sprint to this point. Fuego then trips up Pegasso and hits a springboard frog splash for a near fall.
-Lionsault attempt…MISS by Fuego! Pegasso crawls over for a cover, but only gets two. It’s high drama, without all the high drama!
-Pegasso rolls up Fuego and yikes that was close. Fuego just escapes.
-Another Pegasso roll up and another last second Fuego escape. How much time do we got left? About four minutes if CMLL’s clock is to be believed.
-Fuego misses a corner attack by Pegasso, but gets planted by a Wasteland. UH OH! Pegasso is going for that 450…BLOCKED! Fuego takes advantage, bends Pegasso into a pretzel and gets a pinfall on a roll up. Fuego wins! Decent match, but nothing to write home about. Fuego was very good and Pegasso tried, but together the two just don’t produce much excitement. At least it didn’t suck!
Johnny Idol, Stuka Jr. Titán defeated Ephesto, Luciferno, Mr. Niebla two falls to none
-Mr. Niebla and Titán are captains. Really hoping Titán saw that opener and decided “it’s time to go full throttle.” Also hoping we got sober Niebla instead of Heavy Metal Niebla. Too soon?
-Johnny Idol and the underrated Luciferno will start.
-And suddenly it has all degenerated into a rudo beat down. What did I miss when I was reading about Heidi Lovelace being turned heel for no reason at all?
-Is it sad that I would totally watch a Titán-Niebla match?
-Just tweeted out the question I just asked. Look it up if you don’t believe me.
-I guess its comeback time already! Stuka hits Ephesto with a suicide dive, and Idol and Titán waste no time hitting Luciferno with a Lionsault or tapping Niebla out via submission. 1-0 technicos. I’ll let Abed sum it all up.
-Titán doing the light version of his greatest hits to start fall two…that is till he started kicking the parrot and hit Niebla with a rana of the apron. That’s good stuff.
-Idol, who has evidently been taking classes with Hechicero and CM Punk, knees Luciferno’s face off. He then hits a backbreaker on Luci on the floor…then leaves so more Stuka-Ephesto stuff can happen.
-Stuka and Ephesto do stuff, then Niebla comes in to hit a short arm clothesline and do Niebla style things. Stuka responds by lifting him up for a Wasteland and hitting the Stuka Splash. Good thing Ephesto is there to make the save by…kicking Stuka in the balls. Alrighty then! Technicos win a pointless two fall match. Is there at least a challenge coming or something?
-NOPE! Guess it was just a dumb finish to finish a dumb match. Can we get Flyer, Robin, Templario and the gang back out please?
Ángel de Oro, Marco Corleone, Niebla Roja defeated Gran Guerrero, Negro Casas, Rey Bucanero two falls to one
-I’m torn between these five talented dudes (and Rey Rey Buc) trying to make this good or just hoping they wrap shit up so I can go do other stuff. Casas and Marco are captains FYI.
-Roja and Casas will start, which means this will be fun because it’s Casas.
-The bad news; my mother called during this match and I missed a good chunk of the first and second fall. The good news; it doesn’t appear that I or you, dear reader, have missed a whole lot. Your CMLL Tuesday main event everyone!
-Fall three begins with the rudos in control, as the GG dropkicks Oro off the apron and Casas isolates Niebla Roja in the rudo corner.
-Marco has come in to save the day…until he’s tied up and hit in the ass by Rey Rey Buc. It’s all very riveting stuff!
-Marco gets the comeback started, and Oro and Roja quickly continue it with some cool double teams.
-NICE corner moonsault by Oro. Marco then hits Casas with a Vertical Suplex, and Roja prevents Rey Rey Buc from breaking it up with a roll up for the pin. Technicos win a boring main event to wrap up a show that peaked at the second match. And what a glorious second match it was, wasn’t it?! Let’s go watch it again!
The show is over sports fans! I’m off till whenever, though whenever could be tomorrow and it could involve a Lucha Underground related topic. You’ll just have to wait and see. Till then, THIS!