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Semi-Fun: News and Notes from CMLL Puebla

Updated on December 5, 2017

Are you ready for things you never thought you’d hear me say, episode 9,000?! I actually kind of enjoyed last night’s CMLL Puebla show. I know; I don’t know what came over me either. Sure it started out lame, only had one match I would categorize as good and naturally featured a Rush-Último Guerrero match that went about as long as it takes for me to beat Donkey Kong Country in a single sitting. And yet overall I had a good time, thanks to that one good match, an entertaining semi-main and even that main event, which you’re going to see was odd. Quite odd now that I think of it. All the more reason you gotta love CMLL for booking it two nights in a row because of course they did. CMLL everybody! Let’s get this rolling before I start re-writing these notes in a negative tone. Moses, you know what time it is!

Fuerza Chicana & Guerrero Especial defeated Centella Roja & Hijo de Centella Roja two falls to one


-Look kids; it’s one potentially promising luchador, his near 50 year old father who still thinks he’s in his 20’s, and two luchadors who make Nitro and Arkángel de la Muerte look like an in their prime El Santo and Blue Demon. Why do I do this to myself?!


-Old Man Roja and Chicana start with mat work. There aren’t enough “UGH’S” I can type to make it clear how much I hate this. Oh well, let’s see how many I can type before I get bored anyway! Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh…


- ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh…and alright I’m officially bored with this. By the by, Chicana and Old Man Roja is still going. Such is life in Arena Puebla.


-Goodbye hopelessness, hello utter despair. It’s Hijo de Centella Roja and Guerrero Especial time.


-Not even fifteen minutes into the show and it’s come to this. This is…this is…THIS IS…

-Old Man Roja tapped out Chicana with an Octopus style Stretch while Young Roja actually got off an impressive Swing Bottom to rid us of Especial. Aside from that move, this fall SUCKED! Then again, you already knew that.


-Hijo de Centella Roja starting off fall two with some good shit. So is Old Man Roja, who tries one of those moves of his that he should’ve retired decades ago.


-Weird submission by Especial taps out Old Man Roja. Young Roja comes off the top with a nice arm drag, but is immediately backdropped by Chicana and tapped with an Abdominal Surfboard style submission. We’re tied. That fall lasted maybe a minute and a half and was without question better than that deplorable slog that was fall one. More of this please; even if it’s not good, at least they’re getting in and out and moving on to happier times.


-Fall three starts with Especial and Chicana double teaming Old Man Roja. And just like that I’m rethinking my life once more. It’s not CMLL if that isn’t happening at least once per show.


-This match is so boring it’s making me feel like my back is trying to crawl out of my body. I don’t know how that works ether.


-Young Roja looked poised to make a comeback, but instead failed miserably…and just continued to fail miserably until Especial tapped him out. I too would get rid of the most talented guy in this match instantly if I were CMLL. Immediately after that Chicana drops Old Man Roja right in his head to give him a concussion and secure a rudo victory. Boy did that blow chips. The rudos were awful, the technicos got nothing to do and Centella Roja may have just been retired because Chicana doesn’t know what he’s doing. Disgraceful.


Cancerbero, Perverso, Raziel defeated Espíritu Maligno, Millenium, Tigre Rojo Jr. two falls to none


-The good news; this could be good! The bad news; it only will be if Raziel and Cancerbero want it to be so. Do you see them being motivated to make shit work on a Monday night in Puebla? Just like The Rock thought.


-Maligno and Raziel are captains.


-Rojo (dressed like he raided Stigma’s locker) and Raziel will start with a few minutes of solid mat work. It’s not much, but I’ll take it after the Uwe Boll motion picture that was match one.


-Think Rojo is wondering if he can work his way into that huge cage match on Christmas Day? I wouldn’t bet against it!


-Millenium wanted in, Maligno tells him to take a hike and we get Cancerbero and Maligno instead because there is no Grodd and the cage wasn’t 30 feet. Sorry Teddy.

Sad Teddy is sad
Sad Teddy is sad

-Cancerbero doing a headscissors. Maybe there will be effort here. More interesting is that Maligno seems unwilling to let Millenium do anything. Could they be turning Maligno again to give Millenium a big match?


-Millenium is in and instantly the match picks up with a nice double jump rana and an impressive arm drag. Unfortunately he gets isolated by Perverso in the rudo corner, and immediately gives way to Tigre and Maligno. It all leads to Millenium missing a dive, being rammed into Maligno by Cancerbero and then tapping to a Scorpion Cross Lock. Raziel wants to join in on the fun and does, trapping Rojo in a Romero Death Lock to give the rudos a 1-0 lead. Interesting first fall, though not good. It appears that Maligno and Millenium are either about to feud or have the chemistry of Anne Hathaway and James Franco hosting the Oscars. I haven’t decided yet. Everything besides that was serviceable, though not earth shattering.


-Fall two begins with rudo triple teams. At least their solid because Cancerbero and Raziel know what they’re doing.


-LOL Cancerbero just shoved Maligno off the stage! Amazing moment.


-I don’t know if Raziel and Cancerbero are being cooperative or not, but they have been GREAT in this match. Highly entertaining. Rojo meanwhile tries to get into the ring, only for Maligno to try and stop him. What is going on here?!


-Dueling arm drags by Rojo and Millenium and the comeback is on. Or it was till Rojo dropkicked Maligno twice. Perverso appears to have Rojo beat, but Millenium stops him and plants him with a second rope moonsault. Enter Raziel to break that up.


-Nudo Raziel? Whatever it was, Maligno broke it up to put in his own submission, which Cancerbero comes in to stop. He plants Maligno then moves out of the way of a Millenium dive so Millenium can plant his own partner by mistake.


-It is a turn! Maligno goes off on Rojo after he hits a springboard splash and then lies down for Raziel to get the pin. So they were planning the turn all along! The rudos leave as Maligno beats up Millenium after the match. I guess you could argue it was a well executed turn or a sloppy one; I’ll go with both. The turn made sense based on how the match went, but Maligno was so sloppy at times that it made me wonder if he was turning or just being unprofessional. Oh well; he’s evil again and hopefully that means he’ll be better in that role.


El Cuatrero, Hechicero, Sansón defeated Esfinge, Fuego, Stigma two falls to one


-NIRVANA! At last. Also; NO! NO! EL COCO NO!


-Hechicero and Esfinge are captains. Seriously; who does Esfinge sleep with to get these gigs?


-Cuatrero and Stigma will start. I can actually tell who is who in this match because it’s just Cuatrero and Sansón. The lesson as always; Forastero ruins everything. DAMMIT FORASTERO!


-Esfinge and Hechicero. My Grodd, Hechicero is going to make Esfinge look like Máscara Dorada in his prime, isn’t he?


-Holy shit he is!


-KNEES!


-Hechicero is blending in perfectly with the Dinamitas. All he needs to do is help them with the Monkey Flip spot and they may as well make him the fourth member.


-That was several minutes of amazingness by Hechicero and the Dinamitas. They lay the technicos to waste with a Cuatrero springboard elbow drop onto Fuego (after a Double Backbreaker by Hechicero and Sansón) and Sansón puts Stigma away with a Blue Thunder Bomb. 1-0 rudos. Good start.


-The triple teams continue to start fall two with a triple kick attack by Hechi and the Dinamitas.


-DOUBLE AXE HANDLES INTO A ROPE HANGMAN’S NECKBREAKER! May the technicos never go on offense in this match.


-UH OH! Is the comeback on? IT IS! Nice rana by Stigma on Hechicero and he flies out of the ring immediately for a suicide dive. Fuego comes in to attack Hechicero and flies out for a suicide dive as well, leaving Esfinge to nail a prone Hechi with a springboard splash. WE’RE TIED! This is very good; Hechi and the Dinamitas are giving inspired performances and the technico comeback at the end was well done. A strong third fall could push this into good territory!


-Stigma and Hechicero are doing work to start fall three. Hechi had control at first but Stigma took it back with an arm drag, only to run into a double Dinamita big boot when going for a dive. Can he rally again?


-HE CAN! Cuatrero accidentally launches him into a rana onto Sansón, and Stigma comes back immediately to arm drag Cuatrero out of the ring. One fake dive later and Fuego is in for his close up.


-Fuego antics incoming!

-I don’t know if something went wrong there but Cuatrero just hit Fuego with a World’s Strongest Slam. Whatever it was things are back to normal quickly as Fuego backbreakers everyone, except for Sansón who runs away. Esfinge and Hechicero will now do battle.


-COME ON HECHI!


-I look away for a moment and Sansón is hitting Esfinge with an Enzugiri. Stigma breaks it up, hits Sansón with a Shotgun Dropkick and then has his pin broken up by Cuatrero. Rinse and repeat with Fuego, who hits the wildest splash ever for a near fall.


-Double suicide dive by Fuego and Stigma, leaving Hechicero by himself with Esfinge . He hits a GREAT Shotgun Dropkick off the ropes, and then puts on a beautiful Death Lock bridging pin to give the rudos the win! Nice ending to a good match. The third fall lost steam from what the first two falls had and I reckon this would’ve been far better in Arena Mexico, but still a strong effort, especially from the rudo team. Forastero better watch out; Hechicero is a natural with his family members! Also, thank Grodd CMLL didn’t give Esfinge the win to make him Hechicero’s next challenger. That’s a rage quit scenario if I ever saw one.


Rey Bucanero, Terrible, Vangellys defeated Ángel de Oro, Niebla Roja, Titán two falls to one


-Niebla Garza…I mean Roja and Terrible are captains.


-Oro and M. Bison will start. I’m still sore at M. Bison for making my boy Pólvora look bad last week, so hopefully Oro owns him something fierce.


-What the hell is Rey Rey Buc wearing on his head and how can we get him to remove it? This makes Valiente’s mohawk look good?


-Garza…I mean Roja and Terrible are trading chops. It’s like the Bodybuilding Contest, only with far less spray tan on Roja.


-Nice stuff between the two. Roja goes for an Asai Moonsault, only to instead get pulled down by Terrible so he can eat apron. Rey Rey Buc and M. Bison meanwhile get Titán and Oro in a great double submission (dueling Cobra Clutches from a Camel Clutch position) and for what feels like the 9,000th time tonight the rudos take the 1-0 lead. Okay stuff; Terrible and Roja were the best part of that fall.


-Wait; THERE’S ANOTHER MATCH BEFORE RUSH-UG?!

-Lots of boring rudo triple teaming to start this fall. Titán and Oro better be getting something to do soon.


-LOL at Vangellys being the worst at everything.


-And this fall ends with Roja merely rolling up Terrible while his teammates pull Rey Rey Buc and M. Bison out of the ring. Yawn. We’re tied and this is a steep downgrade from the last match.


-Finally Ángel de Oro getting to do stuff in fall three. Of course it’s with Vangellys so how much is he really getting done?


-Titán and Terrible! YES! You have my permission to make things better you two.


-Terrible is making mince meat out of Titán.


-Titán with a great headscissors...before he unfortunately runs into Rey Rey Buc. Luckily he disposes of him too, then headscissors Vangellys to the floor before wandering around in a daze to set up a fake dive.


-Roja in to own everybody. It’s pretty good actually. All the rudos find their way to the floor and naturally we get a triple suicide dive spot. SO! MANY! SUICIDE DIVES!


-Oro is in trouble…OR NOT!


-Never mind; technicos are done. Terrible with a Terrible Clash on Roja, Vangellys with a Fisherman Suplex on Titán and Rey Rey Buc…I think he honestly just tackled Oro. Who cares; Rudos win an okay but mostly boring match. It needed more technico offense, less suicide dives and Terrible teaming with other partners. YOU DESERVE BETTER TERRIBLE!


Carístico, Marco Corleone, Valiente defeated Euforia, Gran Guerrero, Sam Adonis two falls to one


-Hope Carístico has recovered enough to hit the ropes right tonight! Too soon?


-I missed who the rudo captain was. Carístico is the technico captain though, and he’s luckily gotten rid of that terrible red hoodie he was wearing to the ring. He looked like a Hulk Hogan rip off.


-You know how Sam and Carístico have been feuding everywhere but CMLL? Looks like they’re getting to it now if Carístico taunting Sam is any indication. Valiente and the GG will start.


-Marco and Big Euf doing battle after Valiente and GG did…well nothing really. And just in case you needed a reminder, that short sequence proves Marco and Big Euf need to have a singles match at some point. Tremendous chemistry.


-Sam is in with the flag to confront Carístico. Crowd is really into this and UH OH CARÍSTICO HAS THE FLAG AND IT’S EL TORO TIME!


-CARÍSTICO IMMITATING A DOG PEEING ON THE FLAG! This is lewd, crude and somehow I’m enjoying it.


-Like everything else in life, the fun has ended and the rudos are now in triple team mode, with Carístico eating a Big Euf kick to the gut just now.


-Shouldn’t have taken the piss on the Trump Flag Carístico.

-Euforia Special puts away Marco. GG leaves Carístico prone and Sam comes off the top and hits a Second Rope Frog Splash to seal the deal. 1-0 rudos…again. What is this rudo night?! Entertaining start.


-Rudo beat down begins fall two. If it feels like I’ve been saying that a lot tonight, it’s because I have been and someone needs to save me!


-And just like that the comeback is on! Marco with a flying clothesline off the apron, while Valiente taps out Sam with a Tequila Sunrise style submission and Carístico hits Euforia with La Mistica. We’re tied. Simple yet effective match.


-Valiente and Sam start fall three.


-Valiente sends Sam to the floor, then goes to work on the GG with several arm drags. GG departs, and Big Euf is in to base like only he can. Valiente hits a nice rana off the top and sends Euforia to the ramp so he can do some jumps and shit in the ring. Big Euf gets back in time to square off with Marco. Sweet.


-Los Guerreros are about to be taken to Marco City!


-Sam, it is never a good idea to enter a fistfight with Marco. Thought you’d ought to know, hours after you did so (depending on if you read this or not).


-Carístico getting double teamed by the Guerreros and it’s pretty clear that the injury isn’t bugging him tonight! Good stuff with both GG and Big Euf before Sam comes in and eats a classic Carístico arm drag.


-Valiente’s Suicide Dive > Carístico’s Suicide Dive.


-GG and Marco are in and BAH GAWD IT’S THE MARK OF PERFECTION! Holy WWE reference Batman. That’s enough to put the rudos away (GG was in fact the captain) and the technicos are victorious. Simple but enjoyable match, the perfect example of Sam’s less is more philosophy. Crowd was into it, everyone played their role well and it flew by. In other words, solid lucha at its most solid. Now if only CMLL could give us Marco-Big Euf on a stream. There’s money, there’s James Cameron money and then there’s Marco vs. Euforia. MAKE IT HAPPEN PACO!


NWA World Historic Middleweight Championship Match

Último Guerrero (c) defeated Rush two falls to one


-A battle for the Middleweight Title between two Heavyweights! What could possibly go wrong?


-I’m very interested to see what they do here considering their working again tomorrow. Amazingly it appears they’re starting with mat work. MAT WORK! What has happened to Rush?!


-Who knew Rush could do chain wrestling well?! I like this start; make tomorrow the brawl and tonight the wrestling match.


-I looked down for a moment and there’s Rush tapping to Pulpo Guerrero. That’s what happens when you try to work UG’s game Rush. I enjoyed that fall; it had Rush trying things differently than usual (he’s mostly all brawl and little else) and fell right into UG’s trap as he should’ve. Let’s see if he changes things up as we go into fall two.


-UG puts Rush in the corner and chops him to start fall two. He then does Rush’s own stomps (!) and for a moment I thought he may do the running Shotgun. That would’ve really made me mark out! Instead Rush turns the tide, leaves UG prone and does the fake out kick to take control.


-Rush just did an arm drag and captures UG in a submission. RUSH IS DOING A SUBMISSION?! Are we sure Sombra hasn’t put on a wig and returned to CMLL? In any event UG taps to an armbar and we are tied. THIS! IS! SO! ODD!


-Finally…FINALLY, fall three starts with Rush taking it to the floor, slamming UG against the wall and bringing in something to hut UG with. Looked like a wooden crate. I can’t tell you what it was because naturally CMLL cut away because OF COURSE THEY DID!


-Rush throws a beer at UG and throws him back in. He’s now taunting the crowd. This feels more like a Rush match!


-Rush off the top with a great Shotgun Dropkick! UG just gets out.


-GET HYPED UG! Sadly he can’t and is left prone in the corner…OR IS HE?! Rush stops to taunt, UG gets up and plants Rush with a powerbomb! Rush saves himself by stomping Tirantes’ count.


-Rush with a roll up…YIKES UG barely got out of that.


-Rush just went for a top rope rana. MISTAKE! UG plants him with a top rope powerbomb and Rush just barely escapes. You just gotta love Rush trying the top rope rana even though he never does it. CLASSIC UG!


-Rush hits the ropes, gets tripped and almost gets put in a Romero Special. He escapes, tries one of his own, only for UG to get out of that too. Rush then hits the ropes, is sent right into Tirantes (who falls down) and walks right into a UG punt to the balls. That’ll do it; UG retains in a short, solid and really odd match. We had Rush doing chain wrestling, trying rana’s (and failing) and UG checking things off the list; in other words it was the last type of match you’d expect Rush to have, which made it more interesting than usual. Now hopefully they follow it up with a wild brawl in Arena Mexico.


That’s game sports fans. I’ll see you tonight for news and notes from the Rush-UG World Tour, Part 2. Till then, THIS!

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