The "All-Media" NFL Team.
Quarterback- Aaron Rodgers.
This year, we all got together and finally decided that once and for all, Aaron Rodgers was the greatest quarterback to ever play the game.
I mean, the proof is in the pudding.
He went head to head with Tom Brady and won convincingly.
He's got the most wins and touchdowns by any player through their first 100 games and his Green Bay Packers are a trendy favorite to be Super Bowl champions this year.
His 3,652 passing yards are sixth in the NFL, and his 35 touchdowns are third. He's miraculously only thrown three interceptions all year despite playing with inconsistent options like Jordy Nelson, Davante Adams, and Randall Colb, as well as having to face tough defenses like the Bears and Vikings twice a year.
Some might argue that his team has been outscored 161 to 154 on the road by teams like Miami, Detroit, Chicago and Minnesota, or that the Seahawks absolutely embarrassed him in week one, but we decided to look over that because he doesn't have weapons like Danny Amendola or Brandon LaFell catching passes.
Here's to Rodgers and his second, well deserved, league MVP.
Runningback- DeMarco Murray.
This is easy right?
I mean, he leads the NFL in rushing!
That's the only number that matters.
The Cowboys have their first winning record since 2009, and you can place almost all of the credit on Murray's broad shoulders.
His statistical success is a product of nothing but his hard, nose first style of running.
The Cowboys may have re-shuffled the offensive line in the off-season, and maybe he's carried the ball a league-high 320 times, but I don't see anyone else NEAR 1,606 yards and 9 touchdowns!
And yeah, maybe Pittsburgh's Le'Veon Bell has 400 fewer yards despite getting 78 fewer carries... and maybe if Bell had as many carries as Murray, he'd have 20 or so more yards and maybe Bell hasn't fumbled at all this season, and maybe Bell has 18 more catches for 300 yards and 3 TDs over Murray but... It's not like Bell has a bumbling, injury prone turnover machine at QB like Murray does...
Wide Receiver- Odell Beckham Jr.
"Odell Beckham Jr. is the most talented football player I've seen in my entire life"- David Tyree.
If David Tyree says a receiver is good, that's enough for me.
Let's be real, I don't have to tell you who Odell Beckham Jr. is, you saw that ridiculous catch he made a few weeks ago! That thing was CRAZY.
Hands aren't supposed to work that way.
I've heard people call that catch a fluke, but have you seen him in pre-game warm-ups? He makes catches like that look routine!
Plus! He knows how to do cool tricks like spin the ball and kick a field goal.
(It's harder than it looks, the longest I've ever made was 11 yards).
Not to mention, he absolutely went off last week, catching 11 passes for 130 yards and a score against a Tennessee secondary that just oozes potential.
Despite having few yards and touchdowns than fellow rookie, Kelvin Benjamin, Beckham's 59 catch season has really taken the league by storm.
It's unfair to compare the statistics of Beckham and Benjamin, I mean, Benjamin has established Pro-Bowl QB, CAM NEWTON throwing him passes. Who do the Giants have? Somebody's little brother? I can't remember.
If Beckham isn't offensive rookie of the year, than the system is broken.
Who cares if other receivers have better numbers, Zack Martin has revived the Cowboys running game, or Derek Carr is breaking rookie QB records, none of them made a catch against the Cowboys (in a losing effort) like OBJ did.
Tight End- Jimmy Graham.
In the prestigious "Top 100 Players in the NFL" list last year, Jimmy Graham was the highest tight end on the list, capping the position off at number ten.
And can you blame them for putting him there?!
At 6'7, 285 pounds, the former basketball player glides through secondaries with ease and makes breathtaking plays on a weekly basis.
Over the last five games, Graham has hauled in 22 catches for 177 yards and 4 touchdowns.
That's like 4 catches a game for 35 yards and maybe occasionally a touchdown!
Mysteriously, in the only game over that span where Graham didn't have a catch, the Saints won by a large margin.
What does that mean?
Well obviously everyone on the defense has been scrambling to cover this magnificent touchdown machine and Brees has been trying to force him the ball anyway.
Some might say that the 33 catches, 439 yards, and 3 touchdowns that Rob Gronkowski has hauled in over that span is more impressive, but he was going up against teams like Detroit, Denver, Green Bay, San Diego, and Indianapolis.
It's not like any of those teams could measure up to the contenders the Saints have faced like the 49ers, Steelers, Panthers, Ravens, and Bengals....
Defensive End- Justin Tuck.
It's a real shame that Justin Tuck is being held down by the pitiful Oakland Raiders.
After they gave him so much money that he basically had to sign with them, he's been trying desperately to corral this mischievous group of criminals.
I mean... They are the Raiders, right?
But, as much as he has tried to bring this unit together, he's just not getting any help.
Remember what Tuck did to Tom Brady in 2007? Clearly he's talented!!
The fact that he's been held to 3 sacks is clearly a testament to the lack of talent around him.
I mean... Sio Moore? Khalil Mack? Neither of those guys are out there rushing the passer well.
It's a hard knock life for Justin Tuck, who may have saved the Raiders season by calling a clutch timeout against the Kansas City Chiefs...
Defensive Tackle- Gerald McCoy.
McCoy's 8.5 sacks are 15th in the NFL this year and 2nd among defensive tackles.
Coming off of an impressive 2013, people thought McCoy finally may have shrugged the bust label he earned with his inconsistent play over the first three years of his career.
But finally, McCoy is getting to the QB.
And good thing too, because it doesn't seem like anyone else is trying to rush the passer in Tampa Bay.
I mean sure, Lavonte David's 121 tackles are third in the NFL, and maybe there wouldn't be so many tackles to be made if McCoy were clogging holes or filling defensive lanes... But back to the important stats.
In yet another lost season for the Buccaneers, McCoy is only a sack and a half from breaking his career total!
Outside Linebacker- Elvis Dumervil.
Elvis Dumervil's 16 sacks lead the NFL.
Close the book.
Nobody is a better pass rusher in the whole league than Dumervil, I don't care Watt you say.
Who cares if he only has 22 tackles as an outside linebacker and JJ Watt has twice that despite playing a defensive end in the 3-4.
And who cares if Haloti Ngata, Chris Canty, Terrell Suggs, Courtney Upshaw, and Daryl Smith are there to help take the pressure off of him, that's all semantics.
Inside Linebacker- CJ Mosely.
You know, it's funny. I could pretty much copy and paste Dumervil's.
What a great player that Mosely has become, all by himself.
Oh crap. In the last one, I forgot to mention Pernell McPhee. So it's Suggs, Ngata, Suggs, Canty, Upshaw, and Dumervil helping him ou- I mean sharing the field with Mosely.
It's true, Mosely isn't really a polished pass rusher or all that great in coverage, and maybe he doesn't have many tackles.
But stats aren't everything.
His game film really jumps off the tape out at you. Maybe the reason that his numbers are so disappointing is because the opposing players just run directly into the other, less fearsome members of the Ravens defense.
Cornerback- Darrelle Revis.
Talk about a comeback year.
It seems like just last season, everybody had abandoned Revis and hopped on the Sherman bandwagon.
Richard Sherman. What a blowhard.
Everyone knows Revis is the best.
I mean, look at the season he's having.
He had interceptions versus the Vikings AND the Bears and he's deflected 14 passes, among the most in the league.
True, there was that game where a rookie named Derek Carr picked on him by completing five of the six passes he attempted on Revis for 63 yards. And maybe the sixth incompletion was pass interference in the endzone which set up the Raiders score.
And maybe the recent success of the Patriots defense should be attributed to the rejuvenated Akeem Ayers or the return of suspended corner, Brandon Browner.
But Revis has been, is, and will always be the man.
It's not like he gave up a crucial touchdown to Jordy Nelson in a game they ended up losing by less than six in.
Safety- Charles Woodson.
The ageless wonder.
Did you know that Charles Woodson has 95 tackles this year!
He must spend a lot of time in the front seven to get all those tackles.
It's not like he's constantly getting beat in coverage and relying on his fading speed to make TD-saving tackles.
And I'm sure those three interceptions came against quality passers, and not soon-to-be free agents like Colin Kaepernick or Geno Smith.
Bravo C-Wood, just keep on keeping on!
Sportswriter- Ryan Smith.
I hope you guys enjoyed this piece.
Obviously I was just poking a little fun and didn't mean any ill will towards the players or fans of said players.
The NFL Media is a ridiculous monster that would rather spread something trendy and popular than tell the truth. I like to poke fun at that from time to time and try to show people that sometimes you have to look past Madden Ratings to see what's really going on.
Your move, Skip Bayless.