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Tiger Woods, HGH, Steroids, Galea, Williams, Steinberg, Nike, and PGA Ripped US Open Trophy from Rocco Mediate

Updated on July 16, 2014

Identity: Not Sure

Yes, Golf has groupies and they look something like this.
Yes, Golf has groupies and they look something like this.

Golf is NOT as it Appears. Here's the Truth:

Golf is none of the following, at least not anymore:

  1. An individual sport.
  2. A game of honor and professionalism.
  3. Drug free.
  4. A game of equally-enforced rules.
  5. Mostly mental and only a little physical.
  6. A "Gentlemen's" sport.
  7. Changed only by super technology and expensive equipment.
  8. Governed by tradition (except for equipment and accessories)

Here's why:

  1. You need a Caddie, Sponsor, Agent, crooked Doctor, Rich Family or Benefactor, Swing Coach, Putting Coach, Psychologist, Administrative Assistant, Lawyer, Runner... even more to rank high
  2. You must keep up with the competition, make friends among sponsors, earn and spend favors among fellow players, avoid rocking the boat of the PGA big-shots, avoid criticizing powerful players, maintain kayfabe like a pro-wrestler about subjects like length off the tee "Oh, these guys are good", "The equipment is amazing", "The latest Driver with nano-carbon-fibers is all the difference".
  3. If you don't use drugs, get used to disappointment. You may have the odd win now and then, but always keep quiet about the other guys.
  4. Don't get too upset when you get penalized for nitpicky things while Tiger drops the GD F-ing bomb after he slices another tee-shot.
  5. Tell yourself it's all Zen when you drive that par 4 green. Visualize the lie and execute it.
  6. Enjoy the groupies if you want, be prepared to pay up if you do, and never tell the wives.
  7. Pimp that club, then fire a 62 with your Grandfather's Spaldings.
  8. Gush over Augusta, Jack, Bobby the same day you complain about the lengthening of the 600-yard par 5 before overshooting the green on your second-shot with that "new" 5-iron.

Last U.S. Doping Open Championship, 2008. Tiger wins weeks before Policy released.

Are you even Human, what's your secret? Why the silent grin? Hello! Tiger!? Why do you look like the cat that swallowed the canary?
Are you even Human, what's your secret? Why the silent grin? Hello! Tiger!? Why do you look like the cat that swallowed the canary?
...Stop? No, he'll never stop. He doesn't have emotions, doesn't feel pain, never quits until the target is acquired.
...Stop? No, he'll never stop. He doesn't have emotions, doesn't feel pain, never quits until the target is acquired.
There's something inside of him that give him super strength, something that makes him inhumanly... superhuman.
There's something inside of him that give him super strength, something that makes him inhumanly... superhuman.
Rocco Mediate explaining Tiger Woods.
Rocco Mediate explaining Tiger Woods.
Rocco Mediate viewing his chances at a major title: just a tattered image now.
Rocco Mediate viewing his chances at a major title: just a tattered image now.
Mr. PGA: So you're telling me, you don't believe PEDs exist in the world of golf? Do you know what he's going to do to me, to you, to the game?
Mr. PGA: So you're telling me, you don't believe PEDs exist in the world of golf? Do you know what he's going to do to me, to you, to the game?
I almost got this one major... Tiger got his 14th on one leg. Whatever. This is BS. Now it's done and the PGA will release a doping policy while he's rehabbing. After that we'll see how tough he can be.
I almost got this one major... Tiger got his 14th on one leg. Whatever. This is BS. Now it's done and the PGA will release a doping policy while he's rehabbing. After that we'll see how tough he can be.

PED Tour Awards Tiger 14th Major over Traditional Player

2008 will go down in History for Golf... Good, Bad, or Ugly.

Once informed of something called "Drugs", the PGA's crack team of investigators came up with a plan of testing for these so-called PEDs, if indeed they exist. Of course HGH is used on dairy cows, but it doesn't pass through milk, does it? Anyway, our boys would never touch those things. These guys are good. But, *sigh* for the sake of fairness, they chose to begin testing. When, you may ask, did they begin testing?

Well, remember Tiger's "epic" marathon Monday playoff day-long win over Rocco Mediate in the US Open? Rocco was on fire, but lost to a "Tiger" who resembled an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie hero. Well villain, really, from the first Terminator movie. It was as dramatic, action-packed, and improbable as any scene where the hero emerges intact from unsurvivable catastrophe wincing and bellowing with passion and pain.

But in this blockbuster, Tiger was the unstoppable robot-villain, pretending to be someone else with a human skin, using deception and displays of pain in his predatory onslaught against the weak yet wily human prey (Rocco Mediate)!


Bad Robot?

No. This is a good robot, you will not be terminated. This is a robot shell over a human, it's the other way around with Tiger.
No. This is a good robot, you will not be terminated. This is a robot shell over a human, it's the other way around with Tiger.

Tiger's perfection already seemed like a shell to me. Inside was something that was hidden, something that wasn't right. Rocco was like all the others, but one of the best contenders who put it all together, it was "his time" and he put up a hell of a fight. I rooted for Rocco, but expected disappointment.

Like Kyle Reese and Sarah Connor, he and his caddie battled valiantly despite exhaustion. The watched horror as time and again as the machine emerged unphased from every kind of deadly attack they delivered.

Rocco lost but put a chink in Tiger's armor. He battled hard to the very end, like no other opponent. And made a breakthrough - he delivered enough damage, the single-minded machine shed its human skin during the fight.

Situational flaws allow hackers to beat any robot... this indestructible machine destroyed itself because it kept coming, and coming, and coming... limping, dead-eyed, focusing and calculating every move as it lost sight of the bigger picture. Tiger like the Terminator should have retreated to heal, but didn't feel pain. He lost his human shell and never got it back.


Tiger after the 2008 91-hole U.S. Open.

Incidentally, perhaps ironically, it may go down in history as Tiger's final major "victory" * quotation marks, * asterisk. This is the most unfortunate possible outcome. I'd rather one or better yet, both of the following happen instead:

  • The truth comes out, the slow wheels of justice grind fast enough and to completion for that US Open Title to be awarded to Rocco ex post facto and not post-mortem so he's able to enjoy something of what he deserved and earned.
  • Good triumphs in Tiger's life, resulting in another glorious major victory, won fair and square in redemptive glory with integrity. (The way Jack won his final major).


Doping Crime: Not winning while accidentally using banned substance (that Tiger isn't actually using, like HGH).

Doug Barron got convicted.
Doug Barron got convicted.
Tiger got injured.
Tiger got injured.

So the PGA started testing a few weeks AFTER this "epic" US Open event was completed.

Then they crucify Doug Barron, and release Barrabus to appease the crowd

From the horse's mouth: (http://www.pga.com/news/golf-buzz/timeline-pga-tours-drug-testing-policy?)

When the testing began -- two weeks after the epic U.S. Open playoff between Rocco Mediate and Tiger Woods at Torrey Pines -- Mediate did an interview with ESPN.com and called the new process, "the biggest joke in the history of the world."

Man oh man, he was angry and he was correct.

So Tiger's win in the 2008 US Open was like the Passover Feast and the high and noble PGA officials decided to enforce the rule and crucify someone in a show of strength, so they pick innocent Doug Barron, while they return Barabbas to the mob.

Having washed their hands of it, all is well and good, right? Well, I wrote an article published 8/8/2012 about TW and steroids, and reviewed the conviction of Doug Barron, read the original draft of the PGA policy (not the 2013 revision!) and independently of Rocco Mediate, I called it the very same thing "a joke."

Continuing the direct quotation (from 2013 still posted!) of the boasting horse's mouth on PGA.com:, quoting directly from their website (we'll see how long this link is good!):

Well, it's clearly a joke no longer.

It's not known what action -- if any -- the PGA Tour will take against Singh.

They're referencing their attempt to respond to my article exposing Doug Barron as the scapegoat of their piss-poor drug testing policy.


PLUS Golfing While Black (can't get Tiger, so...)

Dr. Galea who? I ain't no HGH head, brah! You got the wrong black guy this time, fools!
Dr. Galea who? I ain't no HGH head, brah! You got the wrong black guy this time, fools! | Source

PGA Drug Enforcement: Admitting using a banned substance (not HGH or one Tiger is using) while not winning [like scapegoat #1]

Singh, a man of resources, had the money to successfully fight them off and they gave up. He also outed their policy as a hypocritical joke, and they revised it that same year. Today is July 12, 2014, and they still haven't revised their website other than the blurb about dropping charges against Vijay Singh. Like I said before, one of the many people you need on your team for this "individual sport" is a lawyer.

The original policy was so lame, even "Better call Saul" could have shredded their claim, but Doug Barron didn't have even those resources to stand against the PGA legal team. It will be a long time before they pick on anyone with deep pockets like Vijay Singh for Deer Antler Spray again.

© 2014 Doug DeWalt

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  • starlightreflex profile image
    Author

    Doug DeWalt 2 years ago from Ohio USA

    A this point it's circumstantial, that's why only humorists like me get to stay on top of the issue until it gets proven. Interesting that it hasn't been disproven at this point, especially since the evidence of Dr. Anthony "HGH" Galea of MLB notoriety came out. 60 visits to Tiger around the time just before he dealt with the courts about HGH and MLB, (after the Olympic steroids incident, and the border crossing substances incident of his assistant/courier). I may be the only columnist to have actually read the original PGA doping policy, and oh boy, what a farce it is. It blew my mind, how it seems written (and administered) to protect the guilty bread-and-butter of the PGA.

  • Paul Edmondson profile image

    Paul Edmondson 2 years ago from Burlingame, CA

    I suspect that where there is money in sports, players are doping. What's the proof on Tiger. His freakish muscles?

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