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Top 10 Reasons why Baseball is Stupid

Updated on December 9, 2012

Top 10 Reasons why Baseball is Stupid

10. No repeated substitutions under any circumstances. Pro wrestling, which isn't even a sport, allows grapplers to reenter the ring should their tag-team partner fall victim to a flying scissor kick. Baseball is stupid because a pinch-hitter can only pinch-hit once a game. A team finds itself in many pinches throughout a game: the fans should get to see their best players more often.

9. The winning team in the All-Star game earns home field advantage for their league. Most of the players in the All-Star game won't get within 10 games of the World Series, yet they are made responsible for earning a huge advantage for their league. The World Series competitor with the best regular season record should earn the right to host the most Fall Classic games in their home ballpark.

8. Pete Rose still isn't in the Hall of Fame. Yes, he bet on baseball and lied about it for 20 years, until he needed to come clean just in time to publish his memoirs. Yes, he was suspended by the commissioner because evidence against him was overwhelming. On the other hand, he's the all-time leader in career base hits. Plenty of offensive players have been elected to the Hall: racists, drug users, heavy drinkers, and even Canadians. We love Canadians.

7. It takes too long to play a game. The time spent between pitches is practically sufficient to get elected to the Hall of Fame, unless you're Pete Rose. Batters step out of the box, adjust various body parts and equipment, then call time out, step back into the box, and dig a trench with their spikes. It's supposed to be hitting, not Dancing with the Stars.

6. Food costs too much. Attempting to recoup exorbitant salaries by jacking up the price of generic hot dogs will eventually come back to haunt major league teams. Hot dogs at 7-11 are 2 for a dollar: hot dogs inside the stadium break the bank.

5. No one spends any time in the minor leagues any more. Players are signed to immense salaries and immediately rushed to the big league club before they are anywhere near ready. Careers are stifled because players lose confidence and miss out on much needed coaching.

4. No one bunts any more. The third baseman can play in left field and guard the foul line without fear of having to charge the plate to scoop up a bunt. Bunting has fallen out of favor because it doesn't sell tickets or earn big contracts.

3. Steroids were permitted for far too long. Any fan with 1/2 a brain knew something was up when home run derby replaced many regularly scheduled major league games. The commissioner looked aside, thereby increasing the stupid quotient, when 2 players in the same season eclipsed a home run record that had stood for nearly 40 years.

2. The World Series is played when you can see your breath. World Series games should be played in a neutral location or in a temperature-controlled dome. Snow and baseball do not go together. Either shorten the stupid overly-long season or move the October games to temperate climates.

1. Umpires have too much subjective control. It's common knowledge that each umpire may have a different strike zone. Some pitchers get special consideration because they have demonstrated career success. Rookies sometimes suffer a smaller strike zone until they prove themselves, which is incredibly unfair and stupid. Computers can solve these problems. Tennis uses computers to check line calls: tennis serves travel faster than any pitcher who ever took the mound might dream of throwing.

And you think...

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    • profile image

      ely 5 years ago

      One more reason that makes baseball stupid is, 2 players actually are playing slowly and the rest of the players are watching.

    • profile image

      Stuid is 6 years ago

      I've watched major League on Australian TV.. all I can say is, it has to be better in the stands with enough beer to make the dull monotony entertaining.. or something cause I really can't see the attraction.. drink enough and everything's funny I guess

    • Stump Parrish profile image

      Stump Parrish 6 years ago from Don't have a clue, I'm lost.

      Enjoyed this one, thanks. up and funny

    • workingmomwm profile image

      Mishael Austin Witty 6 years ago from Kentucky, USA

      Baseball is not stupid, but most of your points are quite valid (this spoken from my husband, who cares about and understands baseball much better than I do and had to explain some of these points to me!). We wholeheartedly agree with #2 - snow and baseball do not go together!

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Julie Garrick: Thanks!

    • profile image

      Julie Garrick 6 years ago

      You need to get a life...this country is great because we are allowed to have different interests and opinions. Why you, or anyone else, for that matter, feels the need to put negative thoughts and ideas into a world which already has enough of it, over a game, is a testament to just how low this country has become. My grandfather would be disgraced at how people in this country act, with no class or dignity, looking to say the "in thing" for some attention. Just because you have no pride and self-respect don't spew your hatred and negativity on others. Don't tell me how to think or what to like and then I won't have to tell you the actual truth. No one is forcing you to watch baseball, so just get over yourself. Find something which isn't engrained into the very image of America to focus your negative energy on and leave "our" pastime out of it!!!!!

    • profile image

      adonley 6 years ago

      i can address 10 9 5 and 3.

      10- repeated substitions would turn the game into this. Pujols single, Ichiro pinch run, pinch hit Pujols for Ichiro, single, pinch run Ichiro for pujols, etc.

      9- this way the all star game doesn't turn into a joke like the nba all star game or the pro bowl. it has a meaning

      5- they are players who spend their entire careers in the minors but you don't hear about them cuz its the minors

      3-steroids were never allowed. the screening wasn't as thorough

    • GNelson profile image

      GNelson 7 years ago from Florida

      Baseball is way too slow to watch on TV. Go to a game and at least you have people to watch. Good hub

    • ruminator profile image

      ruminator 7 years ago from Big Skies, NM

      stupid is as stupid does, nothing's stupid but everything is ridiculous in the eyes of a tornado.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      You scored 90% with me but I dissagree with #1.

    • Robwrite profile image

      Rob 7 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

      I've never been a baseball fan. Did you ever hear George Carlin's hilarious routine about why football is better than baseball? (Not that I'm a big football fan either.)