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Basketball Jokes

Updated on April 7, 2011

With the basketball season starting I thought I would publish a new hub. Maybe about my favorite team? About the betting scandal? About Agent Zero's swimming pool?

Nothing really caught my fancy so I thought I'd do a collection of basketball jokes. At least I'd get a laugh out of it!

I hope you enjoy these jokes, and if you know of better ones either send them to me or share in the comments section.


Mental Health?

A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class.

Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"

Give Me Some Love!

It's nice to know professional basketball players can feel such affection for each other.
It's nice to know professional basketball players can feel such affection for each other.

Whoo Whoo!

Two NBA basketball referees were walking through the countryside and they noticed some tracks.

The first said, "Deer tracks?"

"No," replied the second, "Bear tracks."

The conversation ended abruptly when the train hit them.

Glutton for Punishment

There was a Knicks fan with anosebleed seat in Madison Square Garden. Looking around, he spotted an empty seat court side. So, he made his way down to the empty seat.

When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"

The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big basketball fan."

"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"

"They're all at the funeral."

Funny Moments on the Court

No Joke

A true Bobby Knight story. (From the L.A. Times.)

In the 1980 Olympics, the U.S. basketball team, coached by Bobby Knight, played and beat the Chinese team handily. When asked about the win, Bobby said, "It was a lot of fun playing the Chinese, but an hour later, we wanted to play them again."

Road Kill

Why are the Dallas Mavericks going to change their name to the Possums?

Because they play dead at home and they die on the road.   


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      basketball 7 years ago

      awesome video

    • profile image

      eesti korvpall 8 years ago

      right, best hub today

    • profile image

      Jason Roatan  8 years ago

      This made my day, great basketball jokes!

    • profile image

      Post man 8 years ago

      lol hilarious

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      sports betting champ 9 years ago

      Just found your hub and it made my day, very funny. Keep up the good work.