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A guide to the best spray tan and nails (one womans crisis)

Updated on October 9, 2009

What drives a woman to spray tan,false nails,a wonderbra and sparkly flipflops.

I see other women in their 30's apparently in their prime making their way to the 40 mark, looking radiant and comfy in their skin. Being in your 30's is about being sexual and young enough to look good no matter what the extreme, so by the time 40 hits you, the beauty thing is pegged and everything looks effortless.... You'd think wouldn't you.

I'm 30 had the spray fake tan and the gel nails and It's made me look 40!!!

What drives a woman to do all this to herself, spray FAKE tan, gel FALSE nails a wonderbra to FAKE more cleavage and FAKE diamante's on flip flops. A woman on the edge take a look...

Our family has had a rough time of it but who hasn't right... stay with me on this one it ain't a sob story and I'll get to the tips shortly.

Well earlier in the year I gave birth to our gorgeous baby girl, which left me with a slipped disc in my neck and back, so I couldn't move. Instead of getting better I deteriorated chronic pain in lower back and in every muscle joint even my hair hurt. After docs branded me a junkie upon not finding anything from MRI's etc A wonderful neurologist took pity and vowed to find out what was going on 4 weeks later diagnosed with fibromyalgia, carpel tunnel syndrome and violent muscle spasms I started rehabilitation. Unable to walk hold anything or enjoy our newborn my hubby had to give up work luckily maternity pay was kicking in.

5 months of rehab able to use hands but no sense of feeling, tried to help and do the baby bottles only to pour boiling hot water over both hands the worst part is.... I didn't even realise I had done it. Things were poor but steady. My big sister took ill diagnosed with bone cancer 10 months earlier had become ill, I had started Vomiting morning,noon and night and was unable to keep the morphine medication down that was enabling me to be mobile.

2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant! it's not like we had been like rabbits coz I can hardly move and in pain constantly not exactly romantic! maybe twice we managed it well 1 and a half my back was throbbing so rained off due to circumstances.... (I know poor hubby)

Still vomiting and crying from hormones went to see G.P who advised us that my body couldn't take another pregnancy so soon and there was 1 specific form of medication that I was taking for the muscle spasms that was known for causing severe abnormalities in a fetus. It's like mother nature had decided for us...

2 days later my big sister died of Cancer at just 48, I actually forgot and sent her a text I felt stupid and well soppy bit.... bit empty there is a big gap where she used to be... Had to do the funeral thing without being sick, my husband bless him following me around with a syringe of morphine and a pack of mints to suck to stop vomiting... The church service was an ordeal in mentioning the family etc, My parents and nephew forgot to mention that my sister had a little sister and was mentioned as an only child, sat in a time warp it appeared only me seemed to notice and was knocked sideways and deeply hurt by it. Tributes were done by my sisters ex sister in law and ex nephew. She divorced ex husband and his family 12 years previous. It would have been fantastic if they had told me they were doing tributes, anyhow did the reception etc by the time I got to the table the queue was that big the plates were empty and were being cleared away. Final straw left for nearest Subway.

2 days after funeral my sisters will went missing uponĀ finding outĀ he was to inherit a small fortune my nephew (her only child from marriage) decides to dump his wife and 2 boys stay up north, while his wife and children travelled back down south without him.

1 week later I was in theater having a termination a half hour job and it seems something went wrong 4 hours later still in recovery they couldn't get a good vein to put somethin in 5th go a charm came out looking like a pincushion....

Recap - 1: Had baby and I was diagnozed Fibromyalgia, morphine every 3 hours

2: Sister took ill

3: Ruddy Pregnant (constant vomiting unable to leave house)

4: Sister died (R.I.P Julie)

5:Managed the funeral thang, not speaking to anybody church saga...

6: Termination general anasthetic

7: Nephew dumps wife and 2 kids coz he's come into his mums money policies etc

We can now see a light at the end of the tunnel, to cheer self up, husband paid for me to have gel nails done, day after organized a spray fake tan at home... fantastic hubby seems to like it following me around like a dog on heat. Eldest daughter put a dampner on it. 1 morning sby saying "mum you're orange!" had passport picture took same day. I think the word is DOH!

After looking on the net researching every name of fake tan and watching the reviews constantly. There seem to be 3 main popular spray tan makes that are top ranking right now.

Fake Bake, St Tropez and Sun Laboratories the in thing that is spreading is the mobile spray tan, usually a qualified beautician comes to your home with the product and what looks like a mini plug in hoover fear not it's the professional sprayer if your beautican pops out the hand held babyliss tan sprayer from argos promptly vacate them from your premises, chances are they are joe blogs off the street. The real beautician brings a pop up dome that you stand in and turn while they spray you, fear not about what to wear you can wear a bikini if you wish but I myself prefer topless the woman or man (modern day) brings a disposable thong for you to wear, where you can show as much or as little as you want without ruining perfectly good clothing.

There are excellent tips for getting the best tan and keeping it for as long as possible.

Shower and shave the NIGHT before you have you're tan then the day of the tan your skin folicals are closed and the tan on your legs doesn't turn into 101 tiny black pinpricks that look ugly. try not to wear make up and deodorant the day of the tan otherwise you will have to remove these before hand and won't catch the spray as good or deodorant wise causes a dark patch under your arms. The same goes for perfume. Important some tan poroducts ask you to moisturise beforehand during the day perhaps if your having it of an evening. Always askthe beautican Sun Labratories for example already has a moisturiser in it so if you already have cream on this can act as a barrier and just simply not exorb into the skin.Where other products ask you moisturize like crazy beforehand to help better the tan, always ask! if the person doing your professional tan cannot answer the question.... don't let the door hit them on the way out.

On application the beautician will ask you to stand in certain poses so they can spray everywhere even under your chest. An amuzing word of warning.... if you have an unusually round bottom say like Jennifer Lopez not talking large I mean round, for the love of all women all over the world bend over so they can spray at an under angle.(speaking from experience) once dry unfortunately my newly qualified lady didn't do mine this way so upon my husband examining my new tan as husbands do I bent over and turned round expecting the thumbs up and a quite smile I found him face down on the floor thumping the floor gasping for air laughing that hard turning purple. It seems my tan was gorgeous very sexy and I felt fantastic and confident.... it was just that when I bent over there was a lilly white smile from where the cheeks met my legs. I took to wearing Bridget Jones knickers for a while.

Some pop up domes actually have little air dryers in them so you dry quicker do not fold your arms and try not to bend your arms until you dry or you get a white crease in the nook of your elbow. If you are topless don't put a towel round you either because when you wrap it around you it wipes tan off your chest area and you are paler. Be brave don't be afraid to stand still it's your house and your body, understandable if kids are running around or you are having a tanning party. Try to arrange it for a time when you will not be disturbed. If it is a party ask the beautician if they bring towels with them, they have large oversized baggy towels that you wear as a poncho over your head. If not make your own buy a dark coloured beach towel and cut a head hole in it,bingo you're own tanning towel.

They say you are dry in about 10 minutes but the Sun product I tried took three times as longer to dry as I had 2 coats applied I'm a redhead with the pale skin, 2 coats did it though. I dried myself off well my husband took pity and dried me off with a cool setting hairdryer this was after he had picked himself up off the floor. The tan goes darker and darker I had mine done in the evening by 10pm that night all you could see were the whites of my eyes and teeth. I loved it I had never been that tanned. I only go pink and burn in the sun, so this was fantastic come summertime if we ever get one that is, I will look like everybody else and I would of accomplished it in a safe way.

After you are dry you don't do anything for 8 hours or overnight, if you are leaving it on overnight try to wear trousers and a long sleeve top for bed. I wore an old pair of dark trackie bottoms and an old t shirt as the surplus tan will come off on bedsheets and possibly stain. Most tans wash out of materials at 40 degrees but better safe than sorry.

After the 8 hours or following morning shower not exfoliate or you will scrub off new skin and the tan along with it.You can use a light shower gel and just your hands will do gently rub the shower gel over yourself the water will usually run dark with the excess tan I found this upsetting as I enjoyed the darkness of the tan before the shower but this would of come off on clothes etc and heaven forbid if I'd of been caught out in the rain, streak town.

After your shower pat yourself dry don't rub again you don't want to rub off skin and the tan along with it. To maintain your tan moisturize like you've never moisturized before! your gorgeous golden looking healthy skin can last from 5 up to 10 days looked after properly. Towards the end of life of the tan take a hot shower and repeat the process shave, exfoliate, and you can use a loufer to help restore your natural skin tone.

If you have any questions always ring your beautician and aftercare questions ring they would prefer you to keep happy withtheir service they get better reviews and better word of mouth recommendation. However if you are not happy with your spray tan i'm afraid there is a 90% chance it is something you have done beforehand like shower the same day instead of the night before, sat down crossed your legs folded your arms etc etc the list is endless. So always double check your actions before you complain. Remember not everybody and every tan is perfect and flawless, there could be that 1 tiny nail size patch between you're toes that looks orange ....

To compliment the tan and your confidence why not have your nails done too, it's amazing how feminine it makes you feel, Acrylics are good if you are having a colour, this season seems to be the same as last year and the dark purple borderline black is back in. However I'm seeing a lot of deep dark reds as to match the hair colour that's all the rage.

If you want a more softer natural look gel nails are perfect! there is gel liquid and actual gel that is applied to the natural nail this is the stronger of the 2 and more natural and kinder to your own nail underneath. As gel nails go the only flaw is having to get them refilled when your own nails grow it leaves a gap in between the cuticle and the original nail gel. Once refilled and providing you have been taking care of the nail tips they look fantastic and flawless once again. Depending on how fast your own nails grow you may not have to go back for refills for 3 to 4 weeks or also it is a case of how long you can stand not having perfect nails. Gel nails can also be done by an experienced beautician that will come to your home, or you may prefer a qualified nail technician. You also could be lucky enough to find someone who can do both and is extremly good at them. If this is the case hold onto them with your life, they are hard to find. Some women would pay them double just for 1 of their services to meet satisfactory.

It is an unbelievable pick me up having these treatments done. Other women are lucky enough to take a make over further by re-styling and colouring their hair a new wardrobe or a big girls night out on the town. I bought a new bra a wonderbra! girls have been raving about them for as long as I can remember so I thought I'd have a bash, I painted my toenails and sported the pinkest sparkly flipflops to bum around in. I'll let you know how I go on with my new girly girly attitude. What ever it is your doing an important factor is to be sure you are doing it for yourself, if not then it's for the wrong reason and maybe a little soul searching or rethink is needed. After my hectic past 6weeks me and my family have lost a lot and gone through what some people don't go through in 12 months or if they areblessed in their lifetime. Everybody loses someone special I wasn't expecting to lose my best friend, my daughters godmother and Auntie and a big sister. Regarding our other problem going through a termination the feelings you have after an event of this nature is of great loss and for me overwhelming guilt. Even though we were told it was for medical and the best reason, even for the protection of the family we already have it's a decision that nobody should ever take lightly, and should receive support from professionals after the termination is over. Please always consult a medical practitioner they do keep patient confidentially and always research any private clinic or medical center you attend beforehand.

I went to a private clinic who were terrible not helpful, treated me like I was a criminal, were rude towards me and kept messing me around for a full day. Where to be told they wouldn't touch me with a barge pole because of the fibromyalgia. They did me a favour, I was then referred to one of the bigger hospitals in the main town miles away but they were fantastic from the second I walked in. I was able to take my husband and children were allowed in the waiting room, 1 week later I was on the ward waiting for my turn. With it being a proper hospital I had an enormous amount of care and support. Which actually made everything a little more bearable. When I sat in the waiting room of the private clinic I took a look around, every other person apart from myself and another must have been in their teens, It made my heart sink.

I hope my daughters are never ever put in that position and especially never have to make the decision I did. But if we are dealt that hand I would want them to know that hell or high waters I'd be right there with them, possibly after I've shouted or passed out granted. But i never want my girls to have the same look of horror and fear I saw in the faces of the young girls sat alone in that waiting room.

By Hazel B

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    • profile image


      4 years ago

      I'd have to agree with Amber...this sounded like a rant of random facts half if which have absolutely nothing to do with the title (the point, I'm assuming) of this article. Not helpful at all...

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      What was the main point of this article? At first you sound like you're saying that all these things make you look old (negative) then ramble on forever about how to have them done properly. Then, you finish by talking about beautifying like it's a positive. So, it this a cautionary article? A how-to guide? Or a feel good go-for-it thing? Tie your points together and keep them consistent, for Christ's sake!


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