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Are Men Who Wear Lingerie Weak Sissyboys?

Updated on October 13, 2009

Frankenfurter thinks not...

Here's a slightly different angle on the whole 'he wears lingerie' phenomenon. As long as I've been writing these articles, I've been fielding objections, many of which are from women. Usually the complaints I speak of run along the lines of the idea that a guy who wears lingerie must be gay, or in any event, is certainly not a 'real man'. I propose that those objections aren't just the superficial expression of a deeper, more primal fear, that if a man is wearing lingerie it means that he is submissive and weak.

Of course, some women like submissive types of men. They tend to make good partners, being attentive and caring, willing to do what she wants to do, and being devoted to her care and needs. These types of guys can easily slip into the 'clingy and needy' place if they don't manage themselves however, and many women are turned off by men who are too submissive. Like it or not, being primal creatures, many/most women are looking for a little of the alpha male. This doesn't mean every lady wants her man to be Kevin Sorbo, but it does mean that she wants to feel secure and safe in her partner's arms.

Mreow... making ladies melt since the time of the Ancient Greeks...
Mreow... making ladies melt since the time of the Ancient Greeks...

Equality, feminism, and political correctness aside, we cannot forget that at the end of the day, all humans have something of an animal drive which is connected especially to sex and sexuality. Guys who wear lingerie therefore set themselves something of a challenge when they wear lingerie in front of a woman, or even mention the wearing of it to her, because the femininity associated with it can seriously detract from her enjoyment of his masculinity, and cause her to view him as a lesser man.

Does this perception equate with reality? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. I have had interaction with some men who wore lingerie who were classic alpha male types and domineering as all heck, then I have had interaction with others who would have been happy had I deigned to trample upon them.

So then, what's the point? Well, it is two-fold really. If you're a straight man who wears lingerie, be aware that you may have to demonstrate your masculinity in other ways. If you're naturally fairly dominant in personality, built like a pro athlete, are a biker, fire fighter, or express some other traditional male cliche this may not be an issue, but if you're not, you may have some work to do in convincing a potential female partner that you are just as able and willing to take the male role in the relationship as any other man.

The other side of the coin is to let women know that just because he does wear lingerie, it doesn't necessarily mean he'll leave you to battle the saber tooth tigers of the world whilst he hides behind you in a slip and panties.


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      10 years ago

      Hi there Hope.

      Does it mean that a woman is automatically a lesbian because she wears men's style underwear,its the old double standard thing that's raised it ugly head and I wish that someone would just knock it on the head once and for all and in saying that no we are no sissies just normal guys with a liking for soft comfortable underwear. Keep up the good work.

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      10 years ago

      Welcome back, Hope.

      As usual you make really good points. But we are talking about perceptions. Regardless of the circumstance, perceptions will always influence people judgments. Yes, lingerie wearing males do face the additional challenge of being careful not to appear overly effeminate but on the other hand there are so called 'normal' guys out there that are way more effeminate than I could ever be... even if I tried. I guess it is more about how you behave than what you happen to be wearing.

      Perceptions! Pesky Perceptions!!!


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