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Best Body Scrub Ever!

Updated on November 29, 2009

I don’t care what Kim Cattrall says – her skin doesn’t have that luminescence-to-die-for just because she eats 5 tons of salmon every day. Sure, the omega-3 (etc) helps. But so do the expensive body treatments she gets at the local celibri-spa. No, I’m not telling you to rush out and pawn your left arm so you can holiday for a weekend at a posh spa. I’m telling you to rush out to your local beauty counter and pick up a fat tub of luxury body scrub.

Why do I need it?

Oh my God, because your skin will feel like butter afterward. It works instantly – you can feel the results as soon as you rinse. Seriously. You’re female. You’re supposed to be soft, soft, soft. This will get you there in a matter of seconds.

Why luxury?

Well, when it comes to body scrubs, it would seem you get what you pay for. You could pick up a tub of Apricot Scrub or summat, and that’ll get you softer than you were before you used it, but it’s not nearly as effective as the higher quality stuff.

I can’t afford 100 bucks a month for designer body scrub.

You don’t need to. My personal fave, Bliss Vanilla and Bergamot Body Buff, is available for $36! This is, in my opinion, the best stuff out there. Scoop a little bit out, buff your bod and beam at the silky-smooth skin you end up with! And it smells frigging fantastic. I’m tempted to taste it every time I use it.

Ok, but I still can’t afford to use that every day.

So fine, use it when you know you’ll be bumping and grinding later that evening. It works well enough that you could pull that off. In the meantime, buy something cheap so you can at least semi-maintain the softness between Bliss scrubs.

How long will I be super duper soft for?

You’ll feel like silk for 24 hours, but once stubble starts to grow in, you’ll want to scrub again.

Can I use this stuff everywhere?

Well, you can’t use it internally, that would be stupid. And uncomfortable – this stuff feels like posh sand, you know. Which means you need to be careful when using it on girlie bits. I do use it in that general vicinity myself, but I’m quite sure the manufacturers would advise against it, just in case you go hog wild and wind up with an internal freak-out of some kind. So be cautious – be gentle, watch your aim, and things should be fine.

What else does this scrub stuff do?

It can keep ingrown hairs from appearing if you use it carefully and regularly. I do this every time I go Brazilian. Keeps things silky, I have to say.

Do I have to use Bliss?

No, of course not. I just know it works wonders, and isn’t super expensive. I also know Sephora and other 5 dollar brands don’t do jack, really. If you’d like an analogy, think Dustbuster vs. Hoover. Nothing to compare, really. My only suggestion is you get something from a company which specializes in body products. Meaning, don’t just buy K-Mart brand and expect that Kim Cattrall glow, ok?

Where can I get Bliss?

Bliss is an actual spa, with locations in NY, Chicago, Dallas, London and other cities. You can pop in to see them personally, or you can order online from If you live in continental Europe you can purchase their stuff from Sephora – but realize the prices are inflated greatly. Probably worth it, though.

Still not sure you can be bothered? Let me put it this way – one high quality body scrub will do more for your skin than a year’s worth of rigorously applying the best body lotion known to man. It’s just that good for your skin. You will LOVE the results.


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