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Caught By A Cupless Bra | The Sexy Clearance Lingerie Trap

Updated on October 13, 2009
All items referred to in this piece can be found at
All items referred to in this piece can be found at

I was going to write an article about budget lingerie options (you know, with the economy being what it is and all,) but then I began to research the topic and discovered a strange underlying trend. When one searches for 'cheap lingerie' or 'budget lingerie' or even 'clearance lingerie', one inexplicably begins to turn up the sort of attire that would make ones ancestors roll in their graves, assuming your ancestors were the type of people to disapprove of an open cup bra, matching thong and, this one was a new one to me in the field of lingerie at least, silver chain halter wrist restraint set.

Other items of clearance lingerie included the Vinyl Cupless bra with chains. (Suitable only for women with smaller breasts or fake breasts which provide their own support and will not mind being tossed around in between a thin chain and a strip of vinyl.) The Rhinestone brassiere, which was little more than a few strings of sparkly things trailing over a pair of silicone inflated mammaries, and the glow in the dark bra, which was actually pretty damn cool. (Possibly cancer causing, but still pretty cool.)

I've clearly stumbled on a lingerie retailing subculture here. Instead of selling pretty lingerie at lower prices, clearance lingerie is clearly some sort of code for, well, you know. This aint' your grandma's lingerie that's for sure. At least, you better hope it isn't.

So, there you have it. If you have been wondering where you can buy cheap items of crotchless, cupless lingerie that comes complete with a rudimentary bondage set up, but you've been too afraid to go down to the local 'bookstore' where these items are sometimes sold, all one needs to do is search for cheap lingerie.

The 'cheap' in this case is clearly referring to some arbitrary moral judgement on potential wearers of the lingerie, and not so much the price itself. I have to tell you, $55.00 for a bra that glows in the dark seems a little excessive to me, unless it also makes you and your new friend breakfast in the morning, and if you wear this out on the town, it seems highly likely that you're going to make a few new friends. If you know what I mean, and you do, because you're still reading even after you discovered this wasn't how to buy yourself some discount granny panties.

We should all be very, very ashamed of ourselves.


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