ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Jewelry On Men Is Not Sexy

Updated on January 29, 2011

The title says it all, really. Unless it’s a watch or a wedding band, I prefer not to see jewelry on a straight man. There are a number of reasons for this, the least of which is not that it completely turns me off. And you should take my usage of the word “completely” literally. It just makes a man seem a bit girlie to me. In today’s day and age, men from all walks of life seem to be dabbling in the flash arena. Having grown up around the mafia, I’ve already reached my quota for how many gold chains and pinky rings I can stomach. Please, do your love life a favor – retire your bling! Here’s a list of items I hope you'll avoid.

1. Lip rings

These make you look like someone just fished you out of a pond. Am I really supposed to want to kiss you with that?

2. Nose rings

I see these, and the first thing I think about is pierced snot. If that doesn’t diminish one’s libido, I don’t know what does.

3. Prince Albert (google it!)

Where do I begin? How about with a great big ouch! Um, no thank you.

4. Necklaces

Unless you’re a pimp or used car salesman, you should not have one of these on. I don’t care if it’s a crucifix. If you want to feel close to Jesus, hang one in your living room. I promise, he won’t be upset if you pull him out of your shirt. He’d probably enjoy the fresh air.

5. Nipple rings

If you have a nice chest, they look alright. But that doesn’t mean I’ll be climbing into bed with you. If you have nipple rings, that means I can’t throw you down and have my wicked way, without possibly ripping them out. Even if you told me not to worry, I would. Not worth the hassle, no thank you.

6. Regular Rings

Weddings rings, yes. Masonic rings? Maybe – but only while you’re at the lodge! Anything else? No. That includes your five-pound High School or College ring. If you own one of these, it will look best in your drawer!

7. Tongue piercings

I was once kissed by someone sporting one of these. He didn’t get a second kiss.

8. Earring(s)

Whether it’s one earring, two earrings, hoops, studs, etc, it does not look sexy on you. Earrings are for girls and drag queens. If you don’t fit into one of these categories, don’t wear them.

9. Eyebrow rings

If you’re some kind of artist, maybe. If you’re a teenager, fine. But, if you’re a full grown man, just say no.

10. Bracelets

Medic bracelet? Yes. Anything else? No. (Unless you’re in the mafia, where it seems to be a requirement. And if you are, go ahead and wear one, I wouldn’t want to see your legs broken.)

If you really, really want to wear these items, I suppose you’ll still be able to pick girls up. Just realize you are limiting yourself in terms of what’s available, cos some girls (like me!) will not want to get naughty with you!

xx Isabella


Submit a Comment

No comments yet.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)