The Fascinating Future of Floral Dresses For Men
My mother wears floral dresses, which is why I will probably never wear one until I'm old and senile and some distant nurse decides that I should wear one which some relative has seen fit to bestow upon me along with a packet of smelling salts and a book about pie. At which point, finding myself dressed in the aforementioned floral print, I shall tear it off and dash about the old people's home waving it like a flag to the consternation and amusement of inmates and passersby. That's right, I'm planning for my retirement, are you?
But you might not feel this way about floral dresses. You might think that they're quite pretty. You might think that they are light and feminine, and I suppose that under the right circumstances, they very well could be.
Floral prints have been popular since time immemorial. People love flowers, a fact which has probably been to the detriment of flowering plants which produce flowers in order to be pollinated and thereby reproduce, not in order to be snapped off halfway down the stem and carried off in some dullard human's chubby little hand. Still, in spite of this little evolutionary glitch, flowers have managed to survive, both in the wild, in gardens and as motifs in the human consciousness.
Floral print cloth abounds in haberdasheries around the globe, and in the great soulless halls of sweat in the Eastern climes. If aliens ever came to planet Earth, they would no doubt be impressed by the reverence we pay to plants and flowers. They may also be struck by the irony that our incessant breeding is rapidly depleting the areas left to grow actual flowers, or perhaps by then we will have learned to grow great floral towers of earth, rock and plants miles up into the sky. Perhaps the sky scrapers of the future will not be concrete, steel and grass. Perhaps they will be living organic structures. Perhaps.
In the meantime, let's just keep on keeping on wearing floral dresses and prints. They exude a kind of classic, timeless charm and there are very few situations in which they will not be appreciated and admired by one of the mandatory old ladies whose sole purpose it is to wander the world making small talk to perfect strangers.
When a man wears a floral dress he is making a bold statement. He is eschewing the norms of masculinity and clothing himself in female attire. Perhaps he is becoming feminine, or perhaps he is subverting the entire idea of femininity. Either way, he exudes pure excellence.
Wondering where the picture above came from? Find out when you read my hub on Pictures of Men Wearing Petticoats.