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Dog Clothes | Lingerie For Pets

Updated on October 13, 2009

I didn't know it at the time, but I have come to realize that it's a slippery slope when you start opening up the world of lingerie. Once only women wore lingerie, then slowly but surely, men began to get in on the act, secreting panties, bras, stockings and other types of lingerie about their person. I thought it was harmless, I thought it was okay, but now I wonder if it hasn't led to this....

An abonimation / abomination...

Can I get a WTF? Amen!

Apparently the 'new' trend (I actually don't know how long it's been going on, but it can't be all that long, 60 minutes and CNN haven't picked it up yet) is for some people to dress their pets, especially their dogs in lingerie. Anecdotal evidence I made up suggests that they tried it on cats but were found kitty slapped to death as a result.

Pictorial evidence suggests that this may be truer than any of us could possibly imagine....


The squeaky toy that lead me down the rabbit hole...

Just so you know dear reader, this was going to be a humor piece about a set of squeaky toys shaped like lingerie. I lost the original link to the piece I was looking for and was forced to turn to the search engines to try and find it. I googled 'pet lingerie' – and the horror began in earnest. Try it for yourself, but I warn you that you will find pages upon pages of honest to god lingerie made for pets. The bible might say 'judge not lest ye be judged', but you know what, I'm going to go ahead and make a judgment call on this one – WRONG. FAIL. ZOMG NO. NYET. NEIN. ICH HABE DEN KASE GENOMMEN.

My true hope is that this stuff is being purchased by crazy old women who 'marry' their dogs. Though that may be mad, its at least innocent in nature. The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.

In conclusion:

Lingerie is for people, human people. Pets don't need lingerie, they are able to utilize sophisticated social techniques such as butt sniffing, leg humping and frenzied barking to express their desires. Also need I put out that they have fur, fur that is not enhanced by the application of lace or satin.

It is we, the humans without the fur who must adorn ourselves with the synthetic skins of animals that never were in order to enhance our mating dances and rituals. As much as you may love them, your pets are not people. For the love of god don't use them as people substitutes. That way madness lies.


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      9 years ago

      Lingerie for pets, oh my god! That's really not appropriate!


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