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How Many Pairs Of Panties Can A Man Own?

Updated on October 22, 2009

Panty Poll

How many panties do you own?

See results

This question came to me recently and I have decided to study it with all the seriousness it deserves. This means I have broken out my white coat, studious glasses and chemistry set, found my spy glass, powered up the electron microscope and alerted the Thunderbirds. (Should I fail in this endeavor, having a team of puppets to back me up may prove invaluable.)

There are two predominant theories on the topic of volume of panty ownership per man. Some feel that the number of panties a man can own is directly proportional to the storage space he possesses. Say his home is around 1500 square feet, one might reasonably suppose, that, with adequate storage facilities such as dressers, wardrobes, safes, lockboxes and the like, a man could quite easily fit several thousand panties into his home. Of course, this is a facile argument and one that fails to take into account several factors which will certainly reduce this number.

First of all, there is a man's income level. How much disposable income does he have to put towards hoarding panties? If he has a spouse or indeed, children, his disposable income may be relatively low.

Secondly, if he does posses either wife or girlfriend who lives with him, is she supportive and willing? A willing wife or girlfriend not only allows a man's panty collection to grow, but may actually contribute to its growth. On the other hand, if he must hide his panties, then the potential size of his collection will also take a hit.

Thirdly, we must take into account the tastes of the man. Is he panty promiscuous? Happy to buy and wear any pair of panties which catch his eye? Or is he more selective about his panties? Will he purchase only one brand of panties? Does he have a taste for expensive silks and satins? All of these factors can greatly influence the available panty market, not to mention the lengths which his panty funds will stretch to.

Fourthly, we must take into account the age of the man. Generally speaking, the longer a man has had to amass panties, the larger his collection will be. Of course, if a man did not come to accept his desire for lingerie until later in life, his panty collection may be smaller than that of a man who has always accepted and indulged his passion for lingerie.

Of course, all of this requires real world input if we are to make a call on how many panties a man might reasonably expect to own. So do vote on the poll in the sidebar and let us see what the average panty collection size is.

In the meantime, feel free to construct a formula using the following variables:

S (square footage)

s (storage space)

P (supportive partner)

p (unsupportive partner)

A (age)

a (age of acceptance of lingerie)

X (panty promiscuity)

T (expensiveness of taste)

working

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