ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Angry Zombie | Fashion Modeling How-To

Updated on July 28, 2010

Have you ever wondered why you don't look quite as good in your clothing as a high fashion model does? Some people will tell you its because you haven't been starving yourself for the last ten years and you don't have the benefit of an experienced hair, make up and most importantly, lighting team. But they're wrong. Dead wrong. They're so wrong you should push them out of bed if they happen to be in one. If they're not in one, you should follow them around until they are and then push them out of bed. Because what really makes high fashion look so darned good is the fact that the models know how to hold their high fashion bodies.

Fashion poses carry no resemblance to movements you'd actually make with your body in every day life. Why? Because everyday life is dull and boring and prosaic and so yesterday. High fashion models hold their bodies in ways that make the clothes look good, even if it means they're incredibly vulnerable in the wild.

Take this pose for example, this was the pose that spawned this article series, not because it is extreme, but because it is so subtle. In this pose, the model scrunches her hands up to her waist and leans forward ever so slightly in a way that suggests 'undead harridan housewife'. But instead of lifting her shoulders as we mortal women do when angry, thus making ourselves look like raging bulls at Pamplona, she keeps them lowered, so that the bends of her arms form pleasing isosceles triangles.

She also appears to be bending forward ever so slightly at the waist in a way that makes her look as if she's standing on an invisible tilted platform. Invisible tilted platforms are very 'in' in fashion, they add a contrasting asymmetry to the symmetry that is a model's face.

What I also like about this picture is the fact that the model is demonstrating that the most flattering look for pallid complexions is the 'undead zombie' look. Her lifeless eyes and cold lips really evoke the horror of the grave in the viewer, which reflects the skull/storm-trooper motif cleverly woven into the 'floral' top.

So next time the significant other in your life does something you don't approve of, remember to look high fashion in your response. Don't arch your back in a rounded fashion like an angry Igor, keep your back straight, your shoulders back, your arms at the 3 and 9 isosceles position and let your mascara rimmed icy glare do the talking.

If they don't back down, eat their brains.

(Model featured in UK's Look Magazine.)

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)