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How To Support Large Breasts | The Kush To The Rescue!

Updated on June 23, 2009

Large breasts are terrible to deal with. They can cause back pain, they often sag far too soon, leaving a woman with stretch marks even in her teens, and boy is it hard to get to sleep at night when you have breasts in the way. When you want to lie on your side, what happens? I'll tell you what happens, your breasts are pressed together with all their breasty weight, causing discomfort and many sleepless nights. The human body just wasn't designed to accommodate breasts in the sleeping position. In prehistory, some women would use rocks to prop up their breasts whilst they slept. In ancient societies, wealthy women would employ servant women to gently cradle their breasts whilst they slept.

The modern world is bereft of many things, and proper nocturnal breast support is just one of them. Fortunately somebody has thought of the plight of large breasted women everywhere and created a product which truly addresses our needs. (I myself suffer under the massive weight of a DD cup. Imagine the torment that my life is, some days I can't even make it from the bedroom to the kitchen without having to resort to crawling along the floor like some kind of serpent.)

The Kush is an entirely naturally synthetic plastic. product, a turgid, fleshy roll which fits neatly between the breasts when one sleeps on one's side.

No straps, no adhesives, no garments needed. The infomercial fails to inform as to what happens when one rolls over whilst wearing the Kush, and I don't know about you ladies, but I relish the very idea of hunting around in bed for a floppy tool. Wait, now I'm watching it again I see that they claim the slip resistant nature of the device will prevent it from escaping the grasp of your breasts as you sleep.

Let's take a moment and watch the infomercial television was destined to air:

Note that the Kush comes in a wide range of flesh colored tones, a fact which makes this little device all the more obscene.

Now I must admit that it is possible that some women may find some use for this horrid little object. Apparently those who have had breast implants find it hard to find a comfortable sleeping position, understandable, if you haven't grown into the things, adjustment could be difficult. Likewise you might be a J cup and the sheer weight of your breasts could cause you back pain. I don't know. The only testimonials I found were on the product site, the rest of the interwebs is simply rolling around laughing and pointing, a position I find most inviting on this particular product issue.

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    • profile image

      Patty Hearst 8 years ago

      Just stuff a sock with some old socks for &^%$'s sake. It's softer and it's free.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 8 years ago

      I wasn't brave enough to watch the video. The pictures looked uncomfortable enough!

    • Triplet Mom profile image

      Triplet Mom 8 years ago from West Coast

      This seems really strange to me. I am with Mighty Mom the video creeped me out too. I think I will let mine just fall naturally instead of some foreign object being shoved in between them.

    • Hope Alexander profile image
      Author

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      You could be onto something there, Mighty Mom...

      Laughing Mom, I sleep on my stomach too, you would think breasts would really ruin that experience. Maybe we need special 'lift and seperate' molds from Kush...

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Maybe it only works on breasts with implants. In which case, if they are smart they will market them to plastic surgeons to give away one with every new pair. LOL.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 8 years ago

      See now, that would just bug me. I wouldn't be able to sleep with something there. After the fourth pregnancy, you just get used to them. I sleep on my stomach anyway. Can you imagine how uncomfortable THAT would be?

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      $55 for an obscene piece of colored plastic to keep your breasts apart while sleeping? For that amoung of money you can buy a nice minimizer bra. For that matter, if they can figure out how to keep them apart while sleeping perhaps they can make a set of these to keep them lifted while standing. Kind of like doing the "pencil test" only with a Kush under each breast!

      I don't know, but the video creeped me out. I won't say exactly what this product reminds me of, but I think you can guess.

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 8 years ago from DC Area

      Thank you Hope, you gave me a hope! ;)

    • Hope Alexander profile image
      Author

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      I have absolutely no doubt that it will work on male breasts just as well as female ones.

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 8 years ago from DC Area

      Umm, will it help on man's breasts too? ;)

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