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How to Get the Last Bit of Toothpaste Out

Updated on October 13, 2015

Automatic Auto Easy Touch Toothpaste Squeezer Dispenser

This shockingly amazing device makes us optimistic for future the of mankind. Simply tuck in your favorite tube of toothpaste: applied physics does the rest.

It sticks to the wall and it comes with a sticker to stick it to the wall. Everything works out.

Many noteworthy things come from China: this is probably one of them. Order the toothpaste squeezer for all your friends and family. No longer will anyone in your sphere of influence have an excuse to skip the dental cleansing phase of their morning ritual.

Bulldozer

Few machines inspire dental hygiene more effectively than a bulldozer. No toothpaste molecules resist the intense pressure generated by this bright yellow beast. Sure, it's expensive, but aren't your teeth worth it?

We've been using the same tube of brushing paste since 1977: our 'dozer never fails us when it's time for the monthly brushing. We've experienced virtually no dental discomfort whatsoever.

Jumbo Paper Clip

Should you be 1 bulldozer shy in the morning, defer to a mighty jumbo paperclip. Sure, it's ostensibly indented to clutch sheaves of paper, but alternate uses are not illegal as far as you know.

Keep a box of these bent wires in the bathroom next to the baby powder and the staple puller. You won't be sorry. We aren't.

Ignition Pliers

Manual extraction of toothpaste can be achieved through dextrous application of quality pliers. We endorse ignition pliers. We favor the extensive leverage and gripping capabilities. A pair of pliers fits easily into the bathroom drawer leaving plenty of room for floss and retainers. Craftsman pliers rival all other brands. eBay provides an extensive collection of bidding opportunities.

Look for other brands such as Snap On, Mac, generic, and Stanley. No one inquires as to your application. As long as your PayPal account is current, you're golden.

Hiking boots

Deep in the mountains, where bears do their business and the Appalachian Trail quietly wends among old growth forests, it's problematic to find pliers or a bulldozer. Your boots provide a quite handy substitute.

Squeeze the tube beneath your heel to eke out those recalcitrant iotas of brushing goodness. You don't want to have morning breath in the wilderness. Mother Nature will thank you and the bears will leave you alone because they don't like spearmint.

Heat Press

When you're done messing around with manual labor, deploy a high-quality heat press against obstinate toothpaste tubes. Strategic combinations of heat and pressure result in properly populated toothbrushes. Never again will you find yourself lacking in daily Fluoride requirements.

This handy machinery handles any size and brand of tube. It's suitable for an entire dormitory. Share in the cost and benefit from the experience of electro-mechanical engineers.

Summary

No excuse exists for poor dental artrifice. We heartily endorse squeezing the last bits of substance from whatever brand of toothpaste to which you subscribe. It may have baking soda in it. It just might leave your breath minty fresh. It probably has some impact regarding cavity prevention. We're not here to judge.

My contrivance of choice for toothpaste extraction is

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A brushed tooth is a happy tooth. See diagram, above.
A brushed tooth is a happy tooth. See diagram, above. | Source

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    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 2 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Charito1962 : Thanks! i FORGOT I WROTE THIS.

    • Charito1962 profile image

      Charito Maranan-Montecillo 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      This hub sure amused me, nicomp! I'm one person who diligently squeezes out the last bit of toothpaste before I dispose of the tube.

      I'll go for the pliers.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 5 years ago from south Florida

      nicomp - this was more than two hoots!

      How did you know that I use boots?

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I don't know... that toothpaste has a little grit in it. My feet are tender.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      Barefoot feels good too!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Stepping is good. Boots work for that.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      I prefer stepping on it! Up and funny...

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