How to Tie a Tie, Instructions and Jokes

If Kantie can tie a tie and untie a tie,
why can't I tie a tie and untie a tie like Kantie can.

Q. What did the necktie say to the hat?

A. You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

Just start typing in Google search “how to” and most likely the first phrase in Google Search Assist will be “how to tie a tie”. It looks like every one wants to know how to tie a tie. Why? Maybe, because very little people know how to tie a tie? Again, why? Is it so complicated?

Well, yes and no. It is like riding a bike. You have to be persistent while leaning how to do it; you might not get it from the very first try, but once you grabbed the feeling of it, you'll be doing it without much thinking.

A woman says- "Please, teach me how to tie a tie, because I suffocated 10 men already"

Wikipedia says that history of a necktie traces back to the middle of 17^th century like most men's fashions and was of military origin.

During the Thirty Years War (1618–1648), France recruited Croatian mercenaries who wore colorful kerchiefs around their neck. Later these neck kerchiefs were called Cravats by the French.

French soldiers adopted the style (probably, men looked very impressive with this kind of a tie around the neck) and eventually new article of clothing started a fashion craze in Europe. There even was a tie maker appointed to the king Louis XIV, whose job was to prepare and tie the king’s ties.

This is all true. But neckties have been around for at least as 2000 years ago, from Qin Dynasty. The Qin Emperor’s Terracotta Warriors wore silk cords around their necks as signs of their elite status.

Pictures of Roman soldiers from approximately 100 B.C. show them wearing neck cloths. Roman orators were said to wear cloths wrapped around their throats to keep their vocal cords warm.

What's more- some sources trace neck wear as fas as ancient Egypt,

Through years the principal purpose of neckwear was to add luxury and color to the attire.

For some time neck ties also served the purpose of showing the wearer's affiliations; membership of a certain school or a club.

Neckwear went through long evolution from lace, long bows, "stocks" of bound cotton, a variety of other garments to most usable and simple four-in-hand nod.

The tie as we know it today has been around since the 1920s. In 1924 an American tie manufacturer Jesse Langsdorf patented the modern tie.

Being also a tailor he discovered that if the fabric were cut at a 45-degree angle it would have a better elasticity and soft drape. He designed a tie by sewing three pieces of fabric with a slip stitch along the back so the tie could be knotted and removed with minimal wear and tear.

His patent remanes the template for manufactures worldwide in present time too.

A brummie (a colloquial term for the inhabitants, accent and dialect of Birmingham, England ) goes for a job interview wearing a polyester shirt, bright flares and big boots.

The interviewer says: "All you need now is a kipper tie."

The brummie replies: "That would be luvloy, two sugars please."

"This publication contains factual information, but is also a caricature of dandies who allegedly devoted exaggerated importance and great effort to the arrangement of their neckcloths. It contains some over-the-top facetious touches -- such as "Yeux de fille en extase" as the name of a color(!). For more of the text of Neckclothitania, see Anne Woodley's site"

(from Wikipedia) as I just can't say better

I am just trying to entertain you a little bit before actually getting you to learning How to Tie a Tie. I don’t want to intimidate you with too much information. Especially that the web is overloaded with sites about “How to tie a tie” but as a matter of fact most of the sites are just using same instructions and same pictures. Even on “Russian speaking” sites I found the same basic instructions and pictures. That’s why I decided to keep my hub on entertainment side for curious cats and not to overload it with any instructions of schemes more than a couple of basic samples. In the link capsule you’ll find the most comprehensive sites with a variety of tie nods. You’ll be surprised at the variety of ways of how to tie a tie. There are

Double tie knot, Small tie knot, , Diagonal tie knot, Half English tie knot, English tie knot, Italian tie knot, Turkish tie knot, Simple tie knot, Oriental tie knot, Persian tie knot, Onasis tie knot, Plattsburgh tie knot, St. Andrew tie knot, Pratt tie knot, Windsor tie knot, Half Windsor tie knot, Four-in-Hand tie knot, Bow tie.... Just Google them!

Don't start off with a Windsor or any of those complicated ones. I'd suggest you to start with the "Four-in-hand nod," it's pretty simple.

Q.: What kind of a tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A.: A boo-tie.

A customer asks a sales person to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. 

"Ma'am," the sales rep explains, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough.