Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee Lingerie | Christmas Bras For Men
At this time of year, when we start to celebrate the birth of a poor baby in a manger by throwing vast amounts of money at retailers, we like to focus on joy, mostly because joy is nature's antidote to widespread hypocrisy and a blatant refusal to engage in any kind of meaningful self examination.
Lingerie brings joy to the world not just because it is functional (which it is,) but because it adds pretty ornamentation to the mundane and the everyday, just like Christmas gives people a reason to spend money they can't afford on rubbish they don't need. Unlike the millions of tonnes of Hannah Montana plastic packaging which will be making their way to from the West to Chinese landfills this January, lingerie, is at its heart, pure art. And it's not just art that looks good, it is art that moves with and works with the human body. Wearable art, one might say.
But what lingerie should the man of taste wear? Well I say a brassiere.
A brassiere is perhaps the most functional of all lingerie. Most women who buy bras do so because they don't wish to look like they should be starring in a bonus edition of National Geographic. Of course, it's a losing battle, no matter how long you spend propping up your bosom, it will one day droop around your knees, assuming you're lucky enough to live that long. Bras are also quite useful for relieving back pain and chest pain caused by having a larger bosom flopping untidily about the place.
A bra need not be brought purely out of need however, a bra can be brought for the fun of it. Whether you're male or female, a nice bra can create a fun and deceptive cleavage guaranteed to delight and astound those around you. If you're male and want to wear a bra this Christmas time, I say go for it! Compared to the entirety of Western civilization celebrating the birth of a baby to a virgin, a man wearing a bra is a relative non event.
If you are looking for a bra for a man, your band size is the same size as the measurement under your man bosom. I repeat. Your band size is the same size as the measurement under your man bosom. You need not add five inches unless you are also planning to wear large silicone forms.
So have at it men! May the joy of the season be upon you and wrapped around your chest!