ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Fashion Dos and Don'ts for Knife-Wielding Crazies

Updated on August 1, 2011
Please! Let us bring an end to fashion-knife faux pas.
Please! Let us bring an end to fashion-knife faux pas.

Be Informed - Accessorize Correctly With Sharp Objects

Gentle Readers,

As of late, I have been alarmed by the dearth of fashion tutorials and guides online regarding the use of knives as accessories.  This lack of education has led to a preponderance of bad taste in the knife accessory department.  

In a noble effort to handle this egregious situation, I shall list some simple fashion dos and don'ts when it comes to accessorizing with knives.  It is my sincerest hope that you and your loved ones find this guide to be of use.   Perhaps someday our children can live in a world where people do not insult our better taste with their horrid taste in blade display.

DON'T strut about with oversized knives.  That is SO last century.
DON'T strut about with oversized knives. That is SO last century.

Knife Accessorizing DON'Ts

When completing an elegant ensemble with a knife...

  • DON'T use a kitchen knife - this is the equivalent to wearing underwear to the beach instead of a swimsuit
  • DON'T utilize oversize knives - they're just not practical... though they are rather fun...
  • DON'T select even medium-sized knife accessories unless they have a sheaf or stylish cover - they wreak havoc on expensive clothing and designer purses
  • DON'T use vintage knives unless they go with your outfit
  • DON'T accessorize with trick knives unless you know how to use them without looking like an inept fool

DO go with something small, subtle, and attractive. Shiny is always a bonus!
DO go with something small, subtle, and attractive. Shiny is always a bonus!

Knife Accessorizing DOs

When accessorizing with a knife...

  • DO select something relatively small - this is more elegant and practical in our modern society
  • DO choose a knife with an attractive handle
  • DO accessorize with a functional knife that is easy to flip open
  • DO select a knife that has attractive functionality - such as a switchblade - but does not require special skill
  • DO utilize knives that have holes for cell phone charms- these add feminine playfulness and the potential for branded flare

The Gist

Perhaps the greatest reason why the vast majority of knife accessorizers out there today don't know how to accessorize correctly is because they do not have contemporary conceptions of these implements.

Too many of us are stuck with old-fashioned ideas of knife accessorizing.  Instead of considering knives within the context of contemporary culture, we think back to battlefields and war zones. These scenarios are obsolete- at least in most developed countries. In an urban environment, large, brash blades are terribly gauche.

The key to tasteful knife accessorizing is simple, elegant subtlety.  Keep it simple. Keep it small.  And keep it cute... but keep an edge.

So please- be more thoughtful the next time you select a knife for a glitzy night on the town. You owe it to yourself and society to exhibit the manners and class that are no doubt emanating from the core of your being.

Make it work, knife-baring fashionistas. Make it work.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • melodyandes profile image

      melodyandes 

      7 years ago

      I worry about that if I got that one.

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      7 years ago from San Francisco

      Eeeeh, the whole fallout chic thing got a bit overblown around 2006, so I'll leave it alone for a while ;)

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      7 years ago from San Francisco

      Thanks! I was thinking guns next, but we'll see :D

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      BRILLIANT!! Style and fitness in one!! I'm ON it!!

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      8 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Might wish to skip the marble rolling pins unless one is interested in building up ones muscles while going about daily activities. There's a thought! Combining exercise, accessories (like rolling pins) and fashion. Will look forward to the next tutorial! :-)

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      I LIKE it, Peggy W!!! Now, I only have two rolling pins at the moment, but I'll start building up a stylish collection- it'll be grand!

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      8 years ago from Houston, Texas

      And how about rolling pins? Large old fashioned well used rolling pins? I suppose ribbons could be tied on each end to make them more attractive. Could even color co-ordinate the ribbons to match what one was wearing. Now that you have the knife accessory tutorial so well worked out...can you move on to rolling pins, large cast iron frying pans, or perhaps baseball bats as accessories? Perhaps they need to be miniaturized like your cute little knife first? Will look forward to your suggestions with bated breath!

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Hehee- I could never get my hands on pepper spray. I've found that carrying around a large frying pan does a pretty good job at keeping people away though- it's quite funny!

    • Betty Reid profile image

      Betty Reid 

      8 years ago from Texas

      Gosh, I only carry pepper spray, and I didn't even attach charms to it.

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Hehee! Thanks!

      Ninja stars are so cool!! Back when I was in high school, I found a throwing spike and carried it around for a while- now it makes for a lovely letter opener!

    • Om Paramapoonya profile image

      Om Paramapoonya 

      8 years ago

      When I was a teenager, I used to carry a ninja star. Pretty cool but not at all practical. lol Anyway, I really liked the video as well as your hat! :)

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      EXACTLY.

    • Haunty profile image

      Haunty 

      8 years ago from Hungary

      Seriously. And what about guys? If women are running around "accessorizing" with KNIVES!!! this century, what are we poor guys to do to match this kind of fashion?

      Hey, maybe it's battle-axes, right? :D

    • waynet profile image

      Wayne Tully 

      8 years ago from Hull City United Kingdom

      You are so cool....and er nice knife collection...that's not a knife...this is a knife!!

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Ah! Must have just been a wonky loading thing. Thanks for pointing that out though! If our video capsule is being buggy, it's good to know so we can fix that!

    • Whitney05 profile image

      Whitney 

      8 years ago from Georgia

      Firefox.. I see 5:15 now.

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Curiouser and curiouser! It plays fine for me on Chrome and I've got embedding enabled via the YouTube video. What browser are you using?

    • Whitney05 profile image

      Whitney 

      8 years ago from Georgia

      Your video on here has 0:00. I had to go to youtube to watch it.

    • Garrett Mickley profile image

      Garrett Mickley 

      8 years ago from Jupiter, Florida

      We do have those. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Theme parks. Crazy, wacky theme parks.

    • Garrett Mickley profile image

      Garrett Mickley 

      8 years ago from Jupiter, Florida

      It truly is. No gay marriage, no cool knives, no free elephant parking. What reason is there to even live in this state?

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Crying shame, that is. T_______T

    • Garrett Mickley profile image

      Garrett Mickley 

      8 years ago from Jupiter, Florida

      It's illegal to carry butterfly knives and switchblades in South Florida =(

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Hahaa!!!

    • Simple Tim profile image

      Simple Tim 

      8 years ago

      Great advice for any Edward Scissorhands costumes this halloween!

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Perhaps not a good idea for much of anywhere, really! Hahaa- I stopped carrying knives on me after living in DC for too long and getting too many confiscated by security personnel T_____T

    • equealla profile image

      equealla 

      8 years ago from Pretoria, South Africa

      Big knives might be of use if you go to the more dangerous areas in SA, I suppose. But I must admit, I think we are again a bit behind of the time. Haven't heard of this fashion accesory yet. Perhaps not a good idea for a country with a crime statistic like ours!

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Oh! And thanks! Someone on Etsy made the hat... I can't remember who it was, but Etsy is great for that stuff! I want to buy more but don't have anywhere to put them O_O

    • Simone Smith profile imageAUTHOR

      Simone Haruko Smith 

      8 years ago from San Francisco

      Hahaa, I wanted to try doing one of those makeup tutorial YouTube videos... but I SUCK at makeup so... well, this was all I had!

    • susanlang profile image

      susanlang 

      8 years ago

      OK.. now go do some stand up on Jay Leno! By the way...is that you on youtube? Love the hat!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)