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Lingerie Essentials For When The Revolution Comes

Updated on October 12, 2009

Entirely too obvious...

Times are tough. The global economy appears to have drunk the proverbial kool aid, hundreds of thousands are out of work, North Korea is testing nukes with the giddy abandon of a girl who just came of age and Obama may or may not be a puppet for a shadowy group of international bankers bent on establishing a new world order.

Revolution is afoot, my friends, but what will you be wearing underneath your fatigues when it comes?

It's important that lingerie worn during a global revolution be comfortable, yet also practical. It needs to feel good, giving you a psychological edge in tough times, but it also needs to be able to stand multiple washings in radioactive streams and

I've picked some types of lingerie that I believe could possibly stand up to such a test.

Cotton Panties

Cotton is the natural choice for a revolution, whether you're fighting to impose the iron will of a global tyrant, or if you're fighting for the last vestiges of the humanity we once knew, cotton is a light, natural fabric which stands up to multiple washings like a champion and also feels great against the skin.

Cotton Brassiere

Brassiere wise, I think you'd be wise to eschew the under wire and go for a supportive one piece cup. Unnecessary seams and such like may prove irritating during the final show down, and an under wire could pop loose in the heat of battle, irritating the chest and / or under arm with stabby poking motions.

Opaque Nylon Stockings

Opaque nylon stockings in skin or dark tones will be a great help when the revolution comes. They can keep your legs warm when you're shivering in a deserted outpost, provide a disguise when you breach enemy lines, and they could provide valuable camouflage if you happen to be hiding out in the dark.

Mesh Camisole

Atop one's cotton panties and brassiere, a mesh camisole is the final piece of the lingerie ensemble for the revolution. Mesh lingerie not only looks good, and pretty post apocalyptic, but you can also use it to catch fish or small mammals in a pinch. Ensure that it is fairly loose fitting, you're going to need to be highly mobile at certain times, and the more mesh you have, the bigger a net you can make for the purposes outlined above. (Hunting and catching and whatnot.)

I trust that you have found this article informative. Please print it out and then eat it to destroy the evidence.


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    • SatinJenni profile image

      SatinJenni 8 years ago from Burlington Ontario Canada

      I hate that underwire at times. It seems to pick the most unopportune times to become an irritant. I love the idea of a camouflage bra and panty set too. Best I've got at the moment is natures version of camouflage... a leopard skin bra and panty set. I've also got a pink leopard skin chemise...both bring out the animal in me.