Manly Mustaches For Men
I often comment, (well, not often, because that would be weird,) but I have been known to comment on occasion that if I were a man, I would grow a mustache. Not a long, gangly mustache, but a nice tidy, Edwardian type of mustache.
As we've already examined the chaos that results when people acknowledge female mustaches, I thought we might tackle the topic of a manly mustache. Also, we can look at some historical mustaches when choosing what mustaches we like the best. It's history and fashion all rolled up in a fun, prickly ball of stubble!
Victorian Mustache
The Victorian mustache predated the Edwardian mustache by virtue of the fact that Victoria was Edward's mother and that's how we tell continental time. The British empire may have crumbled, but it is stull demmed useful for telling mustache time by. In Victorian times, mustaches were serious business, impressive affairs twists and twirls and curls and pointy bits that would stab one's amor in the cheek when you went to the pictures, which didn't really exist yet.
Edwardian Hook Mustache
In Edwardian times, every second man aspired to be a villain, at least, that is what we can gather from the fact that Edwardian men favored mustaches that started off rather promisingly, then turned into sharp, pointy, curled affairs more fearsome than the tusks of a rhinoceros.
Tom Selleck Mustache AKA Magnumstache
The Magnumstache is a well documented mustache that combines volume with a tidy trim to create something masculine and yet, restrained. You won't find any fancy dandycurls on the Magnumstache, you'll just find a well trimmed snozz of hair above an manly upper lip made of titanium and lost maidenheads.
Hogan Mustache
We cannot ignore recent history to the extent that we neglect to mention the mustache that belongd to Hulk Hogan. A rather exaggerated 'handlebars' mustache, this is a mustache that speaks to authority with just a touch of brutality. If the Magnumstache would solve your problems with cunning, agility and charm, the Hoganstache would punch them in the face.
Hitler / Chaplin Mustache
Hitler took everything to extremes, even the trimming of his mustache. In doing so, he rather ruined the innocence of the mustache style Chaplin also enjoyed. That's the problem with Nazis, they just ruin everything. It's now almost impossible for a man with a tidy, well trimmed, ministache to get a job anywhere these days, and that's a real pity. Perhaps its time we reclaimed the ministache for the good of all mankind.
