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Panty Doctor Is In | How To Keep Your Lingerie Healthy

Updated on October 14, 2009

Lingerie is lovely, lingerie is great, however as with all things in life, all good lingerie must come to an end. Even the best lingerie will eventually age, and unless cared for with great care and very rarely worn, all lingerie will die. The following are signs of lingerie ill health, and tips for keeping your lingerie healthy. Read them and learn them well.

Signs of Ill Heath

  • Loose Elastic

Loose elastic comes to all of us, even the best pairs of panties will eventually develop this syndrome, unless, of course, something else happens to them first. Keep an eye out for loose seams and pieces of lingerie breaking away around the leg and waistband. In the early stages, these issues can be fixed with a needle and thread. Later on, loose elastic can become terminal.

  • Translucent Wearing

See through lingerie is fine and even sexy if you buy it because it is see through. But if it becomes see through in the course of repetitive wearing and washing, then much of the allure which might sound quite poetic now that you're reading about it instead of actually experiencing it, is lost. If you can see through your panties in places where you once could not see through your panties, then your panties are terminally ill and may only have weeks, or days of wearing left in them.

  • Stretched Lingerie

Guys, this is why you must wear your own lingerie. Women's lingerie may look and feel good on a man, but it is quite often never the same afterward, due to the fact that men have additional equipment which can stretch out the front of a pair of panties, making them quite unsuitable for women afterward. It might sound like a cute idea to wear your partner's panties, but trust me, they probably won't appreciate it from a hygiene perspective, or a fit one.

Lingerie Health Tips

  • Wear it Once

Lingerie, especially panties, should not be worn day after day. I have heard horrid stories of men wearing their underwear for several days in a row and I must urge any man reading this article not to try this same trick with panties. Panties tend to fit more closely to your body, and though picking up the day's grime is a hazard of their job, pushing them too far can lead to staining, odor issues and even nasty body rashes. Keep your panties clean!

  • Wash it Well

Panties should ideally be washed by hand. If you do not have the time to wash lingerie by hand, then use a delicates bag. These bags only cost a couple of dollars and will stave off the signs of lingerie aging by many washes.

  • Line It

If there is a risk your lingerie will be exposed to bodily fluids, then panty liners can save your precious panties from becoming stained. These are generally pretty cheap and they are highly effective when worn correctly.

It is part of the great circle of life that panties will become sick and eventually leave us. If you have elderly panties begging for retirement, do not deny them the dignity they deserve – replace them with fresh young panties as soon as possible and allow them to live out their twilight years languishing in the back of your lingerie drawer until eventually they are thrown out in a fit of spring inspired cleaning.

Panties by Joanne Luongo, of the Paper Girls Studio
Panties by Joanne Luongo, of the Paper Girls Studio


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      9 years ago

      Your articles are always informative and funny.

      Good work!


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