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Professional Lingerie For The Beige At Heart

Updated on May 12, 2010

I've been guilty of repetitively body slamming beige lingerie into a sobbing mess on the wrestling wring of feminine attire over the years. If you're even a semi regular reader, you'll already be aware of my distaste for beige. It burns as an eternal fire fanned by the fact that almost every piece of lingerie I find comes in a permutation of beige usually disguised by a euphemism such as 'Damask' or 'Cafe Au Lait' or 'Jersey Cow'.

Once or twice I have relented and admitted that not all beige lingerie must be awful by design, unfortunately, that does not mean that most beige lingerie isn't the spawn of Satan hopped up on time management software.

Why, oh lord why is beige lingerie so popular? Whilst wearing beige, one fades away as a feminine creature and is reborn anew as a worker drone. Beige lingerie doesn't just represent a barely repressed desire to melt into the ether, it is also immensely practical in terms of being stealthy, which is why ladies with Real Jobs often wear beige underwear under their work-a-day attire. For many women, it is not enough simply to conform outwardly to the way that society understands professionalism, it is important to conform to one's very skin.

Of course, sacrificing pretty underwear for beige comfort may cost more than the price of a stock standard pair of panties. Lingerie isn't merely about comfort, its a statement you make to yourself about who you are. It may surprise those who are not familiar with the fact that many men wear lingerie that men who wear lingerie generally buy much more feminine and indeed, aesthetically pleasing lingerie than many women do. And that, is of course, fine. Not everybody finds their inner selves reflected in the gleam of a pretty silk panty. Not every day needs to be begun with a stunning teddy, suspenders and stockings. Sometimes a bra and panty set will suffice.

But wearing beige lingerie isn't merely a way to wear lingerie at work without anyone noticing that you are wearing any, it is also an insidious force that can taint the very way you think and feel. How can one possibly feel creative and joyful when one is covered with flesh toned fabric that neither flatters nor inspires? Beige is the color of neutrality, of indifference, of duty and requirement.

It is possible to wear pretty lingerie in the workplace. It is possible not to give over every scrap of individuality to the whirling black hole that is your career. You are more than neutral tones. Embrace color. Embrace life.


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      Tom 7 years ago

      I to think beige is pretty boring I would much rather wear pretty colors or prints and I agree that it does affect the way one feels about themselves.

      I choose to wear as many colors as I can and wear colors that work with one another.