ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Red Hat Society? Not so much.

Updated on September 30, 2014

Red? Yes. Purple? Yes. But not together.

My bestie Bea and I went to have fancy tea for my birthday and as a reason to dress up and wear big hats. While we were there enjoying eating our tiny sandwiches off of pink plates and sipping teas with names like “Blue Lady,” in walked a group of Red Hat Society Ladies.


The Red Hat Society

The Red Hat Society, for those of you who may be unfamiliar, is an international organization for women of all ages, most of who are 50 years old, or older.   They wear red hats and purple clothes.  Those younger than 50 wear pink hats and lavender clothes.   According to the official red hat website, their mission is to support and encourage women of all ages in their pursuits of fun, friendship, freedom, fulfillment, and fitness. 

To be clear, I am not against the Red Hat Society in anyway. I even have a friend that started her own chapter and I participated for a few months (several years ago) to be supportive of her. Thing is I am not really a “joiner.” Even as a young girl I didn’t like group activities or organizations. I was in the Girl Scouts and I hated it.

I wasn’t a good fit for the Girl Scouts. I didn’t care for the uniform, and there were far too many camping activities. As you may already know, I really love not camping. But I digress.

We will NOT act our age!

Bea and I decided we are, well, to, um, US to ever be Red Hat ladies, even when our kids pack us off to the nursing home. (And we are going together and we are going to be roommates!) Anyway, we decided we are going to start our own society. The Red HOT Society.  Instead of red hats and purple clothes, you can wear whatever you want on your head or nothing at all.  Instead of red hats we will wear red stilettos. You don’t have to wear purple clothes. You can if you want, but you don’t have to. We will encourage, but not require the wearing of leopard print.  We will not age gracefully. We will use every weapon in our arsenal. . . age defying creams,  teeth whitening, hair dye, and of course the best age fighting weapons of all:  friendship,  laughter and a positive outlook on life. 


The red hat society was in part inspired by a poem, “Warning - When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple,” by Jenny Joseph. We need a slightly different version:

When I am an older woman, I shall wear leopard print

with stilettos, and a skirt that is too short.

And I shall spend all my money on wine and ridiculously large hats

Shoes, handbags and jewelry and say we've no money for dinner.

I will kick off my shoes and walk barefoot down the street

and eat whatever I like and never diet

and make funny faces at children, smile at strangers

and have too many cats

I will dance in the rain, and drive with the top down on sunny days

And go to night clubs and stay out way too late

and I will learn to throw a mean right hook.



Old enough to know better, too young to care

We will take a cue from the Red Hat Ladies and we will support women of all ages in their pursuits of fun, friendship, freedom, fulfillment and fitness (if that makes her happy.) We will also support the drinking of wine and the eating of chocolate cake. We will banish words like “can’t” and “shouldn’t.” We will take trips of a lifetime, such as our already planned for the somewhat distant future, trip to the Kentucky Derby when I am 50. We really want to go so we can justify the purchase of HUGE Kentucky Derby hats. We will go and wear our hats, and sip mint juleps and place outrageous bets. We will politely but honestly say what we really mean to say. Having raised our families we will embrace a new chapter in our lives. We will embrace being older and wiser. We will embrace the fact that we are finally comfortable in our own skin. We won’t worry about silly things like smile lines. We won’t worry about gray hairs either, but we will dye them. Jet black for me and golden honey blond for Bea. We will wear what we like, too. If I want to wear fishnets, a black pencil skirt, tight sweater and of course, red stilettos on a Tuesday afternoon to have coffee with Bea before grocery shopping, I will. If she wants to wear a beautiful printed bohemian mini dress and purple suede knee boots on the same Tuesday afternoon to meet me I will applaud that. If you would like to join us, come on! Putting on your glad rags and take no nonsense off of anyone shoes and meet us at the coffee shop. Don’t worry about being able to pick us out. You will immediately recognize us.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)