Should Guys Have Long Hair??

No! You immediately say; that gay bullshit is for nancies and girls.

Or Yes! Blokes should do what they want and have long hair or short hair as the whimsy takes them.

Well, that got us exactly nowhere.

As most gays do not have long hair, the first comment won’t stand up to even cursory scrutiny. I don’t know why, really, you’d think the distaff side of a gay relationship would like to look a bit girly, but apparently not….if I had the desire for a gay or transvestite partner, she/he would look 100% female, thank you.

So is the answer to question two a bit nearer the truth and guys should have the hair length they desire and whose business is it anyway?

Well, long hair isn’t fashionable in 2012? True. Most blokes in Britain look as if they have just escaped a prisoner of war camp with the buzz-or-less clips also called a goat cut.

It’s curious how this non-style has caught on, because so many look just awful: little pin heads, scruffy, spotty scalps and a shadowy widow’s peak. And, no, you don’t look ‘hard at all!

Is this just due to the economy? I know this is why I have clipped my own hair for a decade.

So it was time for a change and the criticism has begun almost before the poor follicles have begun to take on the responsibility of the new growth.

I looked online to see what was on offer about blokes and long hair. Lots of stuff really; several old hubbers are there giving advice. One has a brother who has long hair like hers’ (both beautifully adorned actually). She was complaining: jealous maybe. I am at the four-inch stage at the moment….hair! Oh, you are such wags! (I’m developing a gay writing style in case I list that way as it grows).

Hair grows at approximately ½ inch (about 1 ½ cms) per month, so to get it a reasonable length means a year or more…some time Spring 2013. You girls know all this, but it’s surprising how many myths abound; many perpetrated by the missies.

For example: (1) Cutting or shaving your hair makes it grow faster or thicker. It doesn’t: the follicles are buried into the skin and don’t know or care if their charge of a single strand is being pruned or left to grow.

(2) Massaging the scalp and rubbing emollients into the hair helps growth. Nope, not that either. (3) Snipping off the split ends will help growth. Sorry. The hair will grow the same and all hair falls out sooner or later anyway and is replaced by its neighbors.

You can damage hair by too frequent washing with harsh shampoos; too much brushing while wet and using dyes and perms.

The worst thing for the hair is a poor diet and smoking which deprives the hair of blood and eventually kills it.

It’s best to just leave it to grown and trust to the lord!

Curly hair will grow just like straight hair, but will be a tad harder to control and style when long. Yet the wavy variety looks better hanging loose perhaps, whereas straight lends itself to a ponytail.

Which brings me to my - and others - opinion on whether men should have long hair at all.

We believe that, yes, they should, but not too long. Ladies can get away with hair that covers them all the way to the magic valley, but men are overpowered by hair this long. But hair to past the shoulders that can easily be put in a band or curled under a hat, or just left long and sexy, is fine.

Not only is competing with the longest hair on women wrong, it takes just too much looking after. Even shoulder length will require preplanning in damp, cold climes (Britain!) to give the owner time to get it dry after washing (twice per week is ideal).

Men who ignore this and grow it all the way down their backs must get tired of being accosted in the more unsavory bars by panting males who grab them by the shoulder (or worse) and gasp into their non shell-like ears of undying love - or stay hard erections. I’ve done it: and to gaze into the snarling face of the buffed cowboy who owns the locks, shaking a scarred fist under your nose, having been put out considerable by a prod in the nether regions by an object that was not your gun, can ruin your night.

I have noticed already how much willpower and patience you will need to throw off the accustomed “A number two clip please,” as you gaze into your mirror in the morning to be greeted with what looks like a rat looking out of a heron’s nest.

Hair is really uninspiring as it grows out of a clip. It won’t stay down or up - though it enjoys sideways - and the best place for it is under a hat or a bandana.

This is the time of the struggle between returning to the old trouble-free and inexpensive clip (“Why the s--t am I doing this!). You will be treated to the opinions of your mates and partners, too. ’You’re too old, you twit.” “Gee, thanks, I love you, too!”

\but, strangely, most of the criticism I have received in the early stages has been favorable. “You look younger!” Oh, pleeze, say that again!” I though this was a bit strange, actually, and that short hair made you look younger, but not always.

From an ex. “Huh, at least your face looks thinner!” She was always the expert at the damming by faint praise.

I have picked the clippers up daily! There is nothing I would like to do more than shear the itchy, whitey-grey locks, complete with built in dandruff and perhaps some of the smaller members of the arachnid family.

But so far I have held off as it oh so slowly increases.

Why does this 72-year-old curmudgeon bother? Maybe I can't stand myself as I am!

If I make it, you will see Diogenes as he surely was meant to be ..patience, dear friends.