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The Revolution Will Be Pantied

Updated on February 2, 2010

People sometimes wonder what the future will look like. Politicians and scientists paint an ominous picture of a burned out husk of a planet covered with ashes. Religious folk will have you believe that a Sky King will come down and torture the baddies whilst the goodies float up to heaven to receive harps and vapor based real estate. I'm here to tell you that the future probably involves a lot of lace. Am I right? Who knows. What I can tell you is this article will be substantially less depressing than most articles that peddle in fortune telling and won't require you to separate glass and plastic.

A revolution is coming. A revolution of some kind. I can say that with certainty because history tells us that we like revolutions and have major and minor ones several times a century. The fashion revolution which will reward men with the right to wear clothing that does not reflect an allegiance to the Gods of the drab rectangles. (Which most modern men's clothing is dedicated to,) is on its way.

In Japan, the grass eaters, men who eschew typical expressions of masculinity for a softer, gentler approach to the world are taking hold and becoming a real force to be reckoned with, as exemplified by the various hysterical articles appearing in the mainstream media.

Hairstyles and fashion are becoming what we call 'feminine'. In actual fact they are simply lighter, prettier, with more delicate fabrics, more trimmings and more attention to detail. It is becoming increasingly likely that the fashion revolution will be conducted by men who now wear what we call women's clothing, but which, in the future, will simply be known as clothing.

That's right. There will be a nano computer embedded in every brain, a jet pack for every child and a pair of panties for every man. There's a future we can all believe in.

Of course, it won't be anything new. Very little is new under heaven. At one glorious point in human history, men wore what they liked to their hearts content. Some of them even wore three foot lcase ruffs around their necks that made them look a lot like neutered dogs.

The coming men's fashion revolution is likely to be a return to excess in men's fashion similar to the excesses we often see in women's fashion. A great deal of the fashions will be silly, impractical, and likely to burst into flames if they get too close to your food materialization device.


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      breanne 7 years ago

      Hi Hope;

      Great article.... but my question is: "Do you think all people be able to understnd yur message?" I am not talking not about skirts for men [skirts anyway supposed to be male's garment], I am talking about that you wrote "all is getting simpler.....".

      And yes, skirted men, too?

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      hopefan 7 years ago

      hope - I love this article but I was completely distracted in the best of ways by that exquisite photo! Excellent get. I want that, uh, outfit!

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      stuffs 7 years ago

      Hey hope, I would love to see a future like that. There are guys in Japan called the skirt tribe that wear skirts around on the street. I watched a video talking about them, being an america broadcast (webcast) I believe they were mocking them, but I support what they are trying to do over there.