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Wooden High Heels | Fashion Kindling

Updated on September 16, 2010

The 70's is back in your face, and that means that if you're not tottering around on platform heels utterly oblivious to things like the Internet and cellphones, you're sadly fashion deprived this season. Along with pleated pants and the shearling and the boxy bags and the wedge high heels, high heels made of wood are eminently in this year, and if you don't have a pair of shoes that would double as kindling at a moment's notice then something is probably wrong with you.

That said, let's see about getting you some wooden shoes you'll like.

See By Chloe | Wooden Clogs

These wooden clogs combine all the allure of clogs with the trendy style of the wedge heel, ensuring that you'll sound like half of one of the horsemen of the apocalypse is nigh whenever you come around the corner, which is likely to provide added ambiance to any place you might be. These designer shoes will set you back just two hundred and seventy very well spent dollars this fall.

Stella McCartney Wooden Heel Tall Boot

Stella McCartney takes it tall with these leather and wooden high heels that are almost certain to reach over the knee, although interestingly enough, they are quite certainly below the knee of the fine lady who was chosen to model the boots. For those who are interested in that sort of thing, the leather used in these boots is vegan approved – because it's fake. Faker than processed cheese, and almost twice as tasty. These boots cost over 765 American Dollar credits.

KG by Kurt Geiger Echinacea Red Platform Heels

Kurt Geiger attempts to offset the dour clunkiness of the wooden heel by adding leopard prints and red bows, which work fairly well one must say. These shoes are the cheapest of the three profiled so far, priced at only $252.75. (Some say that .75 goes to the tiny child shoe maker, the 252 goes to drowning penguins in oil, but some are liars who should never be listened to.)

Now that we've explored three very different types of wooden high heels, I feel that it is time you went out into the world, little shoe cherubs, and found the wooden heels that call most to you. Perhaps you'll be able to buy a pair that are priced in such a way not to make the baby Jesus cry.

Go forth, explore the nooks and crannies of the wooden shoe world. Discover your shoe destiny. Be the talk of the town. Impress strangers and influence those you know. Win at life.

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