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Worst Case Scenario: Outed As A Lingerie Wearer

Updated on October 13, 2009

Perhaps the biggest fear of men who like to wear lingerie isn't the idea that a wife or girlfriend will catch them, it's the idea that they might catch them and tell someone, for instance, everyone they know. Or that perhaps one day they might get careless, and instead of hiding their panty stash behind several inches of lead in a secret vault, they might leave a pair draped carelessly on the door handle, or perhaps forgotten in the corner of the room. There are a million ways for it to happen, but the end result is the same: your lingerie secret is out!

For some men, the scenario goes a bit like this: It might become general knowledge that you like to wear panties, perhaps you might even become renowned throughout the land for your predilection. Small children will point at you and laugh on the street, and you will become outcast forevermore, subject to woeful beatings and the cruel derision of society at large.

Fortunately, in most cases, nothing nearly so terrible will occur. After all, if panties are found in the home of a man, it is generally assumed that they belong to some lady friend or wife. If panties/bras, or other types of lingerie are seen on a man, one can always fall back on the "it was a dare" excuse, or use the 'Friends' line and explain that your girlfriend thought it would be sexy. Even if surrounded by large close minded men about to do you damage, the excuse that a woman proferred sexual favors if you did what she wanted will always hold water, as women are well known for their strange and often capricious requests, and it is well known that men will do almost anything for sex.

Assuming that you haven't been caught out in a backwoods bar where everyone has a hyphenated first name, there is a great chance that being seen wearing lingerie under your clothes will result in nothing at all except a curious glance or two, if that. Many men who throw caution to the wind and go out wearing a lace bra or camisole with a shirt button or two undone to reveal the lacy goodness inside often find that the response is far less dramatic than they might have imagined. Having accompanied more than one fellow on such an outing, I can say that not a single passerby or fellow diner has made so much as a comment, or even a dirty look. Perhaps they didn't notice, perhaps they did notice and didn't care, or perhaps they didn't like it but nevertheless managed to keep their opinions to themselves. In any case, a thoroughly good time was had by all.

Like someone famous once paraphrased: People aren't thinking about you.

There is a well known psychological phenomenon known as 'change blindness'. Basically, humans pay so little to their surroundings that they see what they want to see, and little else. In experiments, people were interviewed by a man in the middle of a busy mall, and then two people carrying a large screen walked between the interviewer and interviewee. Whilst the interviewer was obstructed from view, they were changed for another person wearing similar clothes. Once the screen had passed by, the new interviewer continued asking questions, and in very few cases did the interviewee actually notice that the person talking to them was an entirely different person from the one they had been speaking to only moments before! Because the mind had already decided what it was seeing, even when things changed, it failed to notice the new reality.

Applied to men wearing lingerie, this means that men will often get away even with what seem to be blatant shows of lingerie simply because people don't expect to see bra straps on a man, or lace under a shirt. In fact, the more outwardly masculine your dress is, like a suit, for example, the more likely it is that you could get away with having blatantly visible bra lines under your shirt without your boss batting so much as an eyelid.


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